People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Rebecca Martinson - The Crazy Delta Gamma

FB

Rebecca Martinson - The Crazy Delta Gamma

I've been kind of busy, so I'm a little late to the party about the sorority girl from Maryland who wrote this scathing email to her sorority sisters. WARNING! Her email makes me sound like a sweet mouthed angel. If you can't fucking handle some adult fuckity fuck fucking fuck language then you can't read her email.

OK, so have you read it? Had you heard about this one yet? Well, in case you've been on a deserted island for the past two weeks I'll bring you up to speed. So, this girl was pissed off at her fellow Delta Gamma sisters because she'd heard through the Greek grapevine they were being “so fucking boring” when they hung out with the (allegedly) amazeballs Sigma Nu so she wrote them an email that would make me blush and basically told them to stop being so fucking boring or else she'd “cunt punt” them (her words, not mine, but they're kind of brilliant, no?) across campus as well as assault them or something like that.

It was a big brouhaha, because one of her dear sisters leaked the email to the media and everyone went wild and wanted this chick's blood.

Now, I have to say when I first read the email, I laughed my ass off. It's actually kind of funny. Her rage is so out of control it's comical. Also, you can almost feel her spittle on your face when she says stuff like:

"I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?" 

She is like a rabid toddler with a trucker's vocabulary! She probably was like this when she was a toddler, "SHARING SUCKS AND I WILL CUT THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER WHO TRIES TO TAKE MY SNACK!! FUCK YOU, GET YOUR OWN COOKIES."

Everyone was so freaked out by this girl and her fucking craziness, but I was kind of torn on the email initially. I didn't mind the language (duh - or should I say durr) and I kind of understood where she was coming from. I've been in charge of many a group of apathetic people and there have been so many times I would have loved to send an email in a similar vein. Can you imagine being in charge of the school carnival and no one wants to work at it, because they're all “too busy” or better yet, they “want to enjoy the carnival with their kids” and meanwhile you haven't seen your family in weeks, because you've been planning the fucking thing so that they can go and have fun with their kids?? Yeah, my guess is the school carnival organizer would like to send an email much like this one and tell parents to get off their asses and help her or else the fucking carnival will be cancelled and they can call Krustee the Clown and tell him he won't be making his rent this month.

BUT, the carnival organizer never sends that email, because she realizes that as much as she'd love to go scorched earth on everyone, that is never going to accomplish anything. So instead, she just sits home and dreams of writing emails like this while she works the phones looking for more suckers to work the Dunk Tank.

Now, what I didn't like was the fact that this girl was yelling at her sisters, because a bunch of douche bag frat boys complained that they were “boring.” Uh … fuck you, frat boy, go entertain yourself. I've never been in a sorority (I know, surprise, surprise) for many reasons, but if I knew that one of the job descriptions was to keep douche bags "entertained" then I'm glad I never joined one, because I would have failed miserably. This is 2013, right? Because this complaint sounds like something right out of Mad Men. Actually, I know it's 2013, because these asshats issues their complaints via text message.

So, basically, this girl yelled at her sorority sisters, because a bunch of d-bags texted her and said her sisters were boring and then she turned around and wrote an email that ripped them all new ones, stitched them back up, and then ripped them again. Um, yeah, haven't you heard, Rebecca? Chicks before dicks. You don't ream your girls because they didn't adequately entertain a bunch of fucking morons. And the more I think about it “boring” is probably fucking douche code for “she wouldn't suck my dick, man.”

But, what sealed the deal for me and made me despise this girl, was my friend Rantsfrom Mommyland's post where she included racist and hateful text messages from our sweet sorority girl. Whoa.This shit just got real. This isn't funny anymore. This girl really IS nuts.

I just need to ask this girl: ARE YOU FUCKING RACIST AND INSANE, REBECCA?? Are you? This isn't a rhetorical question, you dumb fucking cunt. What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Were you? Because I think you might have been. You should probably make an appointment with a fucking neurologist get your fucking brain checked, because you are a complete and total twat waffle.  

This bitch has offended just about every one you can. She's a spoiled, arrogant little piece of shit who really deserves all of the hate that she's received these last couple of weeks over the internet (and hopefully in person). No wonder one of her sisters leaked the email! Reading Rants from Mommyland and the girl's text messages made me realize that this bitch wasn't just some tired, overworked, and under appreciated girl like my imaginary carnival organizer. Nope, this a cunt who needs a punt.

If you want to see a hilarious reading of the post, check out Michael Shannon doing his reading.




If you like what you read, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter!

39 comments:

Leila said...

Oh man! There are so many things wrong with that girl. I'm an alumna of a sorority and that type of behavior would NOT have been (and still wouldn't be) acceptable in our chapter, let alone nationally. Yeah, you cheer for your team AND the other teams. It's called good sportsmanship. Ever been to a game??! And in my experience, the guys from Sigma Nu were the party crashers (who have been banned from many places) and regularly got in trouble with the campus fuzz for one thing or another. So I'm not surprised to hear that they were complaining about the DG's being "boring" for not being the stereotype drunk, belligerent greeks at greek week. Way to be gentlemen Sigma Nu.

KCmomof2 said...

I have to say I think it is probably good that there was not such thing as email or cell phone video cameras when I was in charge of the homecoming float construction my pledge class had to do with the Lambda Chi's in October 1993 because I feel this girls pain! Especially the part where she talks about not talking about and leaving the event with one fraternity to go to another fraternity. That used to drive me CRAZY. I has been 20 years and I still feel her pain.

So no judgement here. I heard she got kicked out of her house. That is unfortunate. If you have ever read Jen Lancaster's book Pretty in Plaid she has a similar rant to her sisters during rush week when she is rush chair. I found that hilarious too. Perhaps the author of the letter should hook up with Jen and do a greatest hits book. I can add my float pomping story and we will all get rich!

Dan said...

Have you you read the comment section of just about anything on the internet lately? Not that I condone it, but this is pretty much in line with that. I have seen vile demeaning profanity for asking a straightforward question about pie crust. A little too much anger based on the perceived transgressions on all sides here.
Someone may slam me for posting this, who knows? I wouldn't be surprised.
Let it go. Satire is one thing, being an asshat is something else. Don't let the behavior of others disturb your inner peace and all that.

Anonymous said...

Apparently I have been living under a rock b/c this is the first I've heard of this girl. Wow. Upon first reading I loved that girl and was laughing so hard I was crying. But you're right. She's a bitch.
However,

That video Made. My. Day. That was pure genius.

Yammering Yankee said...

I hope her parents disowned her. If i talked about people like that you better believe my parents would have grabbed me by the hair pulled my ass out of college and proceed to kick it all the way home....unreal

Amanda Dyck said...

I read the letter a couple of weeks ago and was astounded at how quickly she would throw her sisters under the bus in order to impress a frat house full of douches. Where is the sisterhood? How embarrassing for the founding members of her sorority. The way she talks about mental health issues alone made me want to punch her in the throat. This girl has to be living in a much deserved hell right now, and I sincerely hope she learns a lesson from all this.

Nelly Bastianelli said...

do you also agree with what she wrote on her twitter account? she is a racist bitch!!

Kelly said...

LOL! "Twat waffle" is right up there with "cunt punt"... I will need to file both of those into my profanity dictionary, in case I ever find myself in a position in which I can justifiably use either of those phrases. Made. My. Day.

KCmomof2 said...

I didn't read the Twitter stuff the I thought the email to the sisters was hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Words have meanings. Rebecca Martinson knew what she was saying, and she also thought she was entitled enough to say them without experiencing a negative response. But I can't think of a person alive who would LIKE to be viciously scolded in front of and along with a house full of twenty or thirty roommates (or howevermany), and find it even less of a probability that one of those scolded wouldn't take some kind of retributive action. I do kind of feel bad for her, but not because she's been kicked out of her house and has become an internet pariah. I think she's earned that. I feel bad for her because she's got a lot of unresolved crazy-making rage issues (just read the screen shots of her (now defunct) Twitter feed), and that can't be an easy way to live. But don't worry about her! Surely in a year or so she'll be a reality TV star, happily demonstrating her knack for the cunt-punt on a national basic cable network (I'm looking at you, TLC; maybe a road show with her and Honey Boo Boo?).

Sue said...

Agree totally, and I'm a Delta Gamma alum. I was proud that the executive officers of the national quickly got involved and stressed that this kind of behavior is totally inconsistent with the standards and ethics of DG (or any other national, for that matter). It made me sick to think that this girl was my 'sister,' and I was relieved that the officers didn't let her behavior slide.

It's sad to say, but with so many groups (fraternal organizations, churches, schools, whatever), there's a wide chasm between stated beliefs/behavioral norms and what the members really practice. IMHO, too many people join groups like this without taking those beliefs and norms to heart, and they're rarely called to task for not following them.

HouseTalkN Rossow said...

Good Lawd, Almighty! I don't know which is funnier, her letter or your post.
Fuckity, fucking fuckadoodle!

Kayla Meyers said...

KCmomof2, you deserve a punch in the throat as well, then. That bitch is straight up crazy and needs to be fucking locked up in the looney bin. Chill out, it's a fucking sorority.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I agree! As a sorority sister active both during my collegiate years and for almost a decade as an alum (seven of those years as a chapter advisor), I am well-versed in what should and should not take place in a chapter. I've never seen anything so broadly critical. Way to not at all build up your sisters and friends. What a disgrace for that chapter!

KK

Keisha said...

Twat waffle?!! THAT is fucking hilarious....

Sue said...

Michael Shannon is the balls.

rachel said...

michael shannon, i love you.

Amanda Taylor said...

ew sororities. ew frat boys.

Faithe Barrett said...

This girl was in her sorority for the wrong reasons. Yes we had fun at our swap parties with other fratenities, but it was about being with my sisters. They were there to support me 20 years ago through college and those same wonderful women are surrounding me with love as I deal with cancer. That is what sisterhood is about. Not partying with the boys (1 particular fraternity no less) and more about supporting one another. I love my sisters even though we are no longer in the same city but spread throughout the US. But in a heartbeat I have gotten the support I need from them. That is the meaning of sisterhood and I am heartbroken that this young lady was unable to receive it.

Onecrazymommy said...

Love the cunt punt, but I would personally "cunt punt" this bitch into oblivion. No need to pay for friends like these. That's why I never joined a sorority in college. Just a bunch of skanks paying for friends, IMO. I had a great time in college-with frat guys-because I was cool. Not a cunt.

meechla said...

Jen Lancaster did a reading of the email and it is hilarious!

RachRiot said...

I thought it was pretty funny until I read her tweets. Hateful, ignorant twat waffle, indeed. She is basically the mean girl in every '80's movie ever made and I hope she gets her ass kicked by some "ghetto mexicans"

TNMom said...

I will lead by saying the tweets and racism, etc - UNACCEPTABLE! In no situation is that ok.

I think the letter is just funny! Bad judgment? Maybe, but do you think that is the first letter ever written like this? NO! Apparently that chapter of this sorority has expectations...she was trying to do her job in upholding those. She didn't make up these rules; they were put into place LONG ago. Don't hate the player, hate the game. She got a particularly soft bunch of girls that couldn't take the heat and threw her under the bus. If they don't want to be part of that group then get OUT! No one is forcing them. From all the comments I have seen, the basic values she was trying to enforce and get across are not NEW or made up by her. She had heat from above to keep her girls in line with that house and WHAT IT IS...she lashed a little hard with language but come on...I bet she deleted the email that came from above her that told her to get her ASS in gear and get things in line...cause she's not a softy that throws her "boss" under the bus. I would also bet that when she was coming up as a pledge (or whatever) she too got those same kinds of "nudges", so to her it was business as usual. This is now HER job.
Bottom line - I don't think this is a first BY ANY MEANS, it's just the first time some little participation trophy recipient received one and it made her crotch hurt. Get out of that kitchen honey, you obviously can't take the heat. (that to the person that leaked it)
(I am not implying that ALL chapters of this sorority are like this, but it is apparent that this one is. Also, I do believe this is the first time I have ever disagreed with you) :)
MUCH LOVE! <3 Devan

Amy FunnyIsFamily said...

Even if I were on the receiving end of that letter (and I could have been - I was a lukewarm sorority sister at best) I would have laughed my ass off.

I know a good number of women who hated their chapters after being elected president and spending a year trying to get 80 college-aged women to keep up their grades, complete their house duties, be friendly (but not TOO friendly), be fun while being respectful of the chapter, each other, and the college at the same time. Any of them could have written a similar rant. They are all probably running PTA carnivals now, trying to figure out how to work cunt punt into conversation.

The Michael Shannon reading is pure gold, and her tweets are complete shit.

Teri Biebel said...

Holy crap!! You weren't in a sorority???? I'm floored. Surely I had you pegged as a sister. I'm going to reevaluate my judgment from now on.

Oh and someone needs to cunt punt Rebecca into the middle of next year.

Anonymous said...

I have been stunned for the last two weeks by the number of people who found these e-mail funny. I found it appalling and not at all funny. No one deserves to be spoken to like that ever. The officers in my sorority sometimes got mad and sometimes we fought, but there was never verbal abuse or threats of physical assault. Between her abusive language and the alleged "crime" that prompted the whole thing being the girls not pleasing the Sigma Nu boys, I was disgusted.

MyBelle said...

i will now follow your blog. this is the best comment. it is sad, but true.

Tabitha Crow said...

Does it make me wierd that what I am taking from this is "twat waffle"?? Because I'm totally stealing that!

Elizabeth Bettencourt said...

Excellent point!! Reading through comment sections is such a disturbing view of humanity -- tons of hateful, angry people out there. This email is just one more example....sad.

Red said...

I found the letter hysterical- I mean, she showcases a stellar fucking vocabulary for one. Fuck yeah. And fucking two, I find her anger to be fucking amusing.

But then I read her tweets. Sounds to me like SHE needs a cunt punt. (if she hasn't already received it)And I'm sure her parents are proud- they probably raised this twat to think the sun sets on her ass or she wouldn't have the holier than thou attitude. But that's just my humble fucking opinion.

a said...

Life will be a weird trip for this chick...someone somewhere at some near time will call that shit out and deck her one.
As far as going off on someone with both barrels, I did just that the other night at a coffee house.
Dude left a fucking race horse mess in the bathroom, i mean BAD and shoved passed me on the way out as he muttered "fucking excuse me!"
As he stood in line, giving the servers a rash of shit, I went all Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" and unleashed my rage upon his asstard self.
You know what?
People around me CLAPPED.
Sometimes rage and calling some one out is deserved and good.

Jennifer said...

I'm not gonna lie, "cunt punt" has made it into my everyday vocabulary....however, having been in a sorority many years ago, this is definitely NOT typical! I absolutely would have been the girl to leak it to the outside world if someone had written that email to our chapter.

No sense in me raging on this girl anymore (I did that for the first few days after her letter was leaked). She's already screwed herself for life all on her own.

And I'm not ashamed to admit that I need alcohol to talk to boys!! Good thing I'm already married.

Kortney said...

I see why your name is onecrazymommy.
Just a bunch of skanks? Many distinguished American women are sorority alumni:
Shirley Hufstedler-first US Secretary of Education
Susan J. Helms-NASA Astronaut and first woman to live at the International Space Station
Kathleen Rubins-NASA Astronaut
Pat Summitt-Tennessee women's basketball coach (one of the most accomplished women coaches in basketball)
Harper Lee-Author of To Kill a Mockingbird

These are only a few distinguished Sorority Women and from only ONE Sorority.

And to address your "paying for friends" comment...Personally, I've never understood that statement. You don't have to be friends with everyone in your sorority, you do however, have to treat each other with dignity and respect.

Kortney said...

I see your point, but at some point there has to be a change made. You could make the same argument regarding hazing, but I doubt you believe hazing is okay.

Queen Prancing Crane said...

First, I think this e-mail is hysterical. Second, I think the real villain here is the girl who leaked this e-mail to the media. Why is no one punching her in the throat? She's the one who basically ensured Rebecca's life and reputation is ruined. This should have and would have been dealt with appropriately "in house." Instead, someone had to go and be far more immature and hateful than Rebecca and leak this to the press. Rebecca sent an inappropriate email, end of story. Whoever leaked this e-mail not only broke the bonds of sisterhood but also blew this situation up into a way bigger deal than it needed to be. This poor girl is going to have this e-mail following her around now for every job interview she ever does, does she really deserve to be permanently punished by society for one mistake?

Rebecca is a young college girl who made the mistake that MANY adults have made of firing off an e-mail while mad. Anyone who has ever had to lead an organization has had these sorts of thoughts. It is really frustrating trying to motivate people. There is no disputing that the e-mail should never have been sent, but I think people need to give this girl a break. She's young and she made a mistake. Move on. No one should be defined by their worst moments.

Furthermore, her tweets may have been insensitive, but they were obviously jokes. And what's with the double standard? She gets publicly massacred for tweeting some fairly harmless things that were clearly meant to be humorous, and meanwhile people like the author of this article get to call her insane and yell at her? Why is it bad for Rebecca to make stereotypes, but it's okay for you to make sweeping generalizations about all sorority girls and fraternities and assume that "boring" means suck my dick? The point of Greek Week isn't to "entertain douchebags," it's to form bonds with other members of the Greek community and raise money for charity. And would you want to partner up with people who talked about how they would rather be with a different group of guys and refused to participate or be sociable? Didn't think so.

Grow up and get a life. You are nothing more than an adult mean girl picking on someone else because you are clearly bored with your own life.

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of the girl who leaked this to the press. I pictured her singing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take it" song as she hit the "send" button. Sisterhood loyalty does not extend to verbal abuse and threats of physical violence. This girl is clearly off her rocker, so her sorority sisters were justifiable in their concern that she might really carry out her threats.

Even without the vile language, I HATE the general idea that Ms. Martinson thought her sisters needed some tough love because she getting poor reports about them from the fraternity boys. If she had fired off an e-mail to the fraternity that stated "You know what frat boys, my sisters are FABULOUS exactly as they are and that isn't good enough for you than FUCK YOU!" I would be cheering her on.

I actually think that this becoming so public might be a blessing for this girl. Sometimes it takes very negative consequences for people to realize they have to change. Rebecca will hopefully think long and hard about how she treats people. If I was interviewing her for a job I would give her a fair chance IF she could tell me honestly what she had learned from all of this and how she has changed.

Discussing this is not about piling on to a 20 year old. Its about women off all ages learning from each other. What I hope that women learn is, be yourself (if any guy doesn't like that than Fuck them); Treat all human beings, especially your friends with dignity and respect; and never ever post something on the internet that you don't want your mother, father, grandmother, employer, ect. ect. ect. to read.

Regarding this being dealt with "in house" Ms. Martinson made the statement "I don't give a fuck if you SOR me......". While I don't know what SOR means, I am guessing that it is Delta Gamma's way of disciplinning its members. If so, she is mocking her sorority's discipline system. Someone would only do this if it was ineffective.

Periwinkle Paisley said...

Every time we hear anything about a sorority (or Greek life in general) in the news it's never anything good. It's always about the hazing, the drinking, the slutting around with 'frat' boys and now this. Thanks, Bex, for perpetuating the stereotype that anyone in a sorority must be a stuck up, selfish, shallow, foul-mouthed, elitist ho-bag with no other concerns than impressing fraternity boys.

Where is the viral story about the sorority girls who stood in the rain for an entire Saturday afternoon collecting money for Charity? Or the time they and their 'match up' didn't party together but built a handicapped ramp for a family who otherwise could not afford it? Or the story in everyone's email about a bunch of fraternity brothers went to the hospital to surprise a kid with leukemia to make him an honorary member of his dad's fraternity just to cheer him up? Never heard those?

What about the story of countless socially awkward freshman girls who learned how to function as part of a large group of different personalities and then took this valuable experience with her out into the world when she graduated?

Yeah, stories like that aren't as newsworthy as someone writing 'CUNT PUNT' in all caps as she foams at the mouth over her fatally boring sisterhood. This stupid Rebecca girl makes us all look like crap. I was in a sorority and it was a great experience. We had our share of airheads and bitches but what group doesn't? Those few bimbos aren't the definition of what it is to be a part of a Sorority. It's all about having each other's back, a lesson Rantin' Rebecca clearly missed. The way it's supposed to work she should have launched her rabid tirade against Sigma Nu for calling her sisters boring and weird!

I don't necessarily want to cunt punt her(not just because that sounds a more than a little gross sticking my foot there just to make a point) or even really punch her in the throat. I feel sorry for this girl, she doesn't get it at all. And now, the sorority she tried so vociferously to motivate into having more sparkling personalities has kicked her out. I hope she learns something from the whole experience even if it's just not to put things in writing that can be used against you later.

Jaycee said...

I think as an alumna of a sorority you shouldn't label a fraternity as a whole based off of your experience for them. Greeks get enough hatred as it is (as I'm sure you know) but you took it out of context and contradicted yourself by saying you should support others (sportsmanship)yet, you bashed Sigma Nu by saying they're the ones who are trouble by being "party crashers, banned from many places and regularly got into trouble". It's not fair to them or anyone for you to step back and say those things about them just because of your experience with them. The Greek community should support one another nationally as a whole because if we don't support one another then the world only sees us quibbling with one another and then they say "Greeks are horrible, alcoholics, sluts and whores, party people and all around a bad influence."

HMM said...

Dammit. I LOVED the email... but now that I read this.. and her tweets.. it's ruined for me. Fuck. I hate being informed.. ;) xoxo