I can't believe that tonight the Elf on the Shelf will go back in his box (I mean, fly back to the North Pole to be with Santa, blah, blah). Gotta keep the "magic" alive!
It's been a big season for our Elf.
We've owned our Elf for about 4 years now and we finally got around to naming him this year. Privately, the Hubs and I had called him the "little bastard," but to his face, he was "Elfie." We'd never written it in the book though (I can never bring myself to write in a book - it just feels so wrong), so the name was up for debate since it wasn't "set in stone."
After much negotiating and power brokering, he was christened "Choppy Elfie." I have no idea why. Mostly because it was a compromise between my kids. The boy liked Elfie and the girl like Choppy. So, Choppy Elfie it is, because Elfie Choppy didn't have the same ring to it. Good thing I don't have 4 kids.
This year Choppy Elfie's powers over the kids were not as strong and I was a little disappointed in him. He was slacking a bit this year. At one point I found him swilling out of a beer bottle - I'm beginning to think he spent most of the season drunk!
Tonight he will go back in his box, but some people are suggesting I bronze the little guy. After all, when he came out of his box in November - OK, mid-December - less than 100 people had ever heard of me or my rant about him. Now 1.5+ million people have read the rant, I have 26,000 people on Facebook who like my blog and I'm getting hate mail (a sure sign that I'm doing something right). It's not the world domination I have planned for 2012, but it's a great start and he was there for the beginning of it.
I can't bronze him. That would ruin my kids' childhood.
No, Choppy Elfie must go back in his box. Some others have suggested I leave him out in a place of honor all year.
I can't bronze him and I can't leave him out all year. If I leave him out, he'll get a swelled head every time he checks his inbox and sees people wetting their pants, crying tears of laughter and LTAO (Laughing Their Asses Off). His ego will be enormous and we don't have room for that - mine takes up way too much space.
I'm sorry, but Choppy Elfie must go back. He shouldn't be sad. He should feel like he had a great season. We had a good run and in the end, I even remembered to move him a few times (thanks to all the reminders from people on FB). If people are sad about Choppy Elfie going back in his box, they should remember I never set him on fire (accidentally with a lamp or on purpose with a campfire for roasting s'mores); I never put him in compromising positions with Barbie or Dora or Santa or G.I. Joe; I never hung him from the rafters; and I never made him fish out of the toilet. I kept his dignity and that's saying a lot in this house.
We will miss Choppy Elfie and we will be excited next November - OK, mid-December - to take him out of his box and welcome him back to his familiar circuit of perches: three kitchen shelves, the mantle and the Christmas tree.
We love you, Choppy Elfie and this Mama is sooooo glad people decided to go Elfin' CrAzee this year!!