Donald Trump


What an arrogant POS.  Is there anything he doesn't think he's good at?  Oh yeah, being poor.  He'd suck at that.

I will admit I've watched his crappy show in the past, but I really couldn't get past the fact that he looks like he has a rodent nest on his head and the sun constantly in his beady eyes.  Those shots with him by his helicopter with the blades churning and the nest NEVER moving really freaked me out.  His coat would be whipping, he'd practically be tipping over from the wind, but the nest stayed put.  Not even the slightest ruffle.  WTF?  With all his money, can the man not buy a mirror?  How much does he have to pay his people for them to say his hair looks great?  Who is his hair stylist?  The world should be allowed to know so that we can all stay the hell away from him/her.

OK, so The Donald (does he prefer that name or did someone make that up for him?) is already treated like the prince of some small Middle Eastern country (seriously, who else but those guys and The Donald takes a dump on a throne literally made of gold??) and now he thinks he'd like to be President of the United States?

I read a few months ago he sent a top aide to Iowa to promote his bid.  I'll give him props for finding Iowa at least.  When I lived in NYC, most New Yorkers confused Iowa, Ohio and Idaho.  They were all the same state in their minds.  Luckily, I was from Kansas and they all know Kansas.  Well, actually they only know two things about Kansas: "Do you know Dorothy?" (She's a fictional character, dumbass.) and "Was your house ever destroyed by a tornado?" (No.  Have you ever been pushed in front of an oncoming subway train?  Because I get all my knowledge about New York City from "Law &Order," just like you obviously get your information from "The Wizard of Oz.")

But, in true out-of-touch-with-the-masses style Trump was quoted by The Des Moines Register as saying that he planned to meet "many, many people - maybe all the people."  In Iowa??  Really, Donald??  I realize that to a big city slicker like yourself, Iowa seems pretty small, but that's a bold comment.  There are over 3 million people in Iowa, you douche.

You've had a few months now to meet all the people of Iowa, Donald, how did that go for you?  My cousins don't recall making your acquaintance and you're a pretty memorable guy so I'm thinking you weren't able to meet all the people of Iowa.

What a jackhole.  Who says stupid shit like that?  Megalomaniacs.

When I heard he was going to host a Republican debate I thought - Oh good, something to really laugh at.  Seriously, can you imagine that guy hosting the debate?  He'd never let a candidate get an answer in.  He'd ask a question and then answer it himself.  That debate would run for days, because he wouldn't shut up.

He's such a dick.

I'm glad to see no one really took him seriously and agreed to come to his debate.  Well, that's not true, Gingrich and Santorum said they'd come.  Of they course they did.  Gingrich would make an appearance at an opening for a 7-11 if he was promised a soundbite and at this point, Santorum was just happy to be invited to any debate.  (When will that guy get a clue and quit?)

Wow.  Are Americans really going to rally around this asshat?  What gives?  Is Newt not condescending enough?  Is Bachmann not crazy enough?  Is Cain not dumb enough?  Is Romney too good looking?  Is Obama too compassionate?

We're in serious trouble here if there are actually people out there who think The Donald would make a good President of the United States.  What are his qualifications to be President?  He's a joke.  The world already laughs at us, do we really need to give them more fodder?

The sun is setting on our empire and we've got Trump who thinks he should throw his hat in the ring?  What does he do except buy buildings, make them tackier (Can you imagine the White House during his "reign"?), declare bankruptcy (3 times), say "You're Fired," brag about himself (a lot), write a book (or 17), and marry beautiful women who get paid handsomely to sleep with him and produce heirs (I realize I'm not even close to being hot enough to be in the running to be the next Mrs. Trump, but if I were, there isn't enough money in the world to get me into bed with him.  I'd choose Hef before him.  Or that really old guy that Anna Nicole Smith married.).

I don't care if you vote Republican or Democrat, just please, don't vote for this moron.

26 comments:

GMac said...

As usual - right on!! And you're also right on target about the things the rest of the country knows about Kansas. I live in CT, but was born in KS and lived there until I was 24 and inevitably when I tell people that I get asked if I know Toto or saw a tornado.

CL said...

When I was living in central Illinois some guy on the radio asked if they made a Lifetime movie about Rod Blagojebich who should play him. The listeners agreed Trump because he's the right kind douche for the job. Donald Trump is a joke and is hard to take seriously. The only good he would do is give fire to the comedians' fuel.

bmmoore said...

When I was little we had new neighbors from Kansas. They actually named one of their daughters Dorothy...

The Book Biddy said...

Sigh. Moment of realization. 12 years ago a Professor of Sociology assigned a two volume book called Decline of Western Civilization. I never read it, but it is still on my shelf. After reading your blog and the comments, maybe now is the time to read the damned thing. If I find predictions of Trump-like presidents, I'll get back to you.

Lillian Carilo said...

I wasn't going to tweet today, but I think this is worthy of sharing. Look for my tweet later linking your post, prefaced with "What she said."

mym2bw said...

I care. Don't vote for any of those republican idiots. We have been blessed byte a moderately liberal president who wants to make not only this country, but the world a better place. We have been bleased with a president with an open mind and open heart: let's keep it that way.

MICHELE said...

As usual you are hilarious. I am from KS and that bit nearly did me in! That is so so true!

Robyn said...

oh, the bit about state knowledge... I'm from Texas and any time I tell anyone that from outside this state, they ask if I rode a horse to school. Honestly, is ignorance the norm these days?

And, oddly enough, the possibility of Trump as a candidate frightens me LESS than Perry as a candidate...

counselingmomma said...

I think Trump is a joke... However, I have to admit that even with the 3 bankruptcies, he has managed a level of financial success that I envy.

On the note of qualifications, Ronald Reagan was an actor... just saying.

Finding my place in this big world said...

Haha! You nailed it! I was born and raised in Kansas and now live in Iowa. When i tell people im from Kansas, the first thing i hear is "do you know dorothy?" Really dipshits??? Id also like to point out that neither myself, my husband, my 4 children nor anyone we know ever met or even seen Donald Trump. Epic fail Donald.
i love your blog, keep doing your thing!! :)

Anonymous said...

I hail from Kentucky. Yes, I wear shoes some of the time. No, I did not marry a cousin.

I'm so sick of voting for the least worst...I would love to vote for the person who I WANT in that position. Unfortunately, the men and women worthy of a world-improving position, are too busy running companies and being home with their families. The ones who choose politics get out before they become tainted!

So glad to read Christmas worked out! Love your work!

Anonymous said...

i am assuming this post is old as trump and cain have both quit. And the funny part is the sheep that follow you are agreeing and commenting like this is hot news.. congrats, you can start your own apocalypse right here on this forum.....

Anonymous said...

baa

Mrs. Cockrell said...

LOL. I agree w/Robyn re: the Texas thing and the Perry thing. SCARY. Isn't it funny when haters post anonymously? Guess they don't to get their throats kicked...

TNMom said...

I live in Tennessee, I don't play a guitar or banjo, and neither I nor any of my family aspires to be country music stars. Also none of my family is married to each other. I heart stereo types.

TNMom said...

OH! And no, I have never seen Elvis. LOL

Debbie said...

I love your blog! You say exactly what I've been thinking! I'm originally from Kansas... I'm thrilled to read your political views...most Kansans lean to the right! "The Donald" is a BIG JOKE! I was soooo glad to see President Obama put him in his place at the correspondents' big bash!

Emily said...

Hey Anonymous, I guess you haven't noticed that Trump is still using the ol' "if no one good enough runs, then I'll run" line.

Hilary said...

Megalomaniac. What a great word.

Rebecca Gallagher said...

I love you.

Anonymous said...

Like so many others, I love your comment about Easterners knowledge, or lack thereof, of the inland states. As the daughter of Idahoans, I esp. loved that you cited the confusing of Iowa, Ohio & Idaho; I happen to have family from all 3 of those, and that is a family pet peeve handed down hilariously from my dad. When I was a teen politics wonk, a reporter in our local paper [ rhymes with "Most Mismatch"]made that mistake. Dad & I wrote a snarky letter to the editor that they not only printed, but added a cartoon to go with! We were so proud.

I'm a St. Louisan who went to school "back East" in "Bahstahn" and encountered similar gaffes. During one of their famous blizzards, waiting at the "T" station, a fellow student who'd just asked where I was from, sympathized, "I bet you never see weather like this in Louisiana!" Another student once said, "Oh, St. Louis--So, right across the river from Kansas City?" Even my worldly faculty advisor said, not joking, btw, "St. Louis-- That's where they started the Golden Arches, right?"

Just stumbled on your blog via the Elf on the Shelf post-- Love it! As a teacher, I have to deal with the instant gratification, entertain me NOW results of all these Stepford Moms!

Hey Mon! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angela Tracy said...

THANK YOU!!!!'

And why does he think he can run the country like he runs his corporations? HELLO, McFly! You don't get to make all the decisions. There is something called Congress,although I don't think they are much help.

Anonymous said...

~You are freaking hilarious!! I love it!!

I have had to stop reading your blog with my morning coffee as I either choke laughing or spit it out through my nose all over the computer,not good for future typing as the letters stick!!
I wanted to say hello.I had tried to comment before when I was directed to your insanely amusing elf post but it was only accepting blogger comments but now I can,

Jaguwar said...

I'm amused that 3 months after this post, The Donald is gone but Santorum actually stands a chance. A small but very real chance.

The truth is, the Repubs have grown more fanatical lately, and if the American people have any brains at all (which is debatable, considering how quickly they fell for the WMD and Iraq war bullshit), there'll be no choice but to go with Obama again.

Maybe they could also tell their Repub leaders to quit acting like douche canoes, stop making the President's job harder, and start behaving like leaders.

I won't hold my breath.

Sheppitsgal said...

Oh dear - I'm reading your blog from the beginning and have stumbled upon this post. How times change. Lots and lots of voters requiring a punch in the throat!!

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