The Dads at Science City on Saturday
Saturday was a great day around here. We had beautiful weather and the Hubs didn't have to show houses so we were looking for something fun to do.
Luckily, I have good friends that I can call at a moment's notice and say, "What are YOU doing today and can we come too?" That's pretty much what I did to my friend.
She told me that she and her family were going to go downtown and visit the new Kansas City Ballet studio that just opened. It was a supposed to be a big party with lots of fun (free) stuff for the kids to do. She is a ballerina and her daughters are ballerinas, so they were pretty excited.
My family is neither graceful nor dainty, but we like free stuff and we try to support the arts, so we tagged along.
We took a tour and saw that it was a really beautiful building and it was great to see how many people will be able to benefit from the new facility. After the tour we were invited to watch a performance. The ballerina family stayed for the entire show and watched with rapt attention. My family (even the Hubs) gave up after 5 minutes and begged to go next door to the Science City Museum.
We have a season pass so I said we could go over there a while. We said goodbye to the ballerinas and headed out.
I was thrilled to see the museum wasn't crowded, sometimes the weekends can be unbearable. We split up and the Hubs took the boy and I took the girl.
The first thing my daughter wanted to do was sit in the helicopter. They have a full sized mounted helicopter in there and you can sit in it and pretend you're flying. While the helicopter seats four, there is really only one seat that you can "drive" in. When we got to the helicopter there was a man, a woman and an 18 month old baby in the helicopter. The man was driving and the wife and baby were in the back.
When we walked up I said to my daughter, "Someone is using the helicopter right now, so we just need to wait your turn." Almost every parent knows that is code for "Finish it up, please."
Instead, these parents proceeded to photograph this baby in the helicopter as if it was a photo shoot for a brochure for the museum. Not only did they sit there and photograph the kid, they kept stopping and uploading the pics to Facebook.
"Looks like they're almost done now, sweetie. Thanks for being patient," I said to my daughter as passive aggressively as I could. Code for "Move your asses, people, we've waited a full 4 minutes for you."
At that point, the mom realized she should probably exit, so she climbed out and spent another 2 minutes coaxing Junior, "Honey, are you ready to come out?"
"Sweetie, aren't you all done?"
And so on.
Finally Junior got out, but Dad didn't!
He sat there in the driver's seat pretending to fly the helicopter. I gave him about fifteen seconds and I was going to say something but then he pulled out his iPhone and did a self portrait and started uploading that to Facebook. That's when my patience ran out. I just stared at him willing to look up at me and see me looking at him like he was an idiot. He didn't, so I finally had to speak.
"Sir? She's waited really patiently and you're in the only seat she wants. Would you mind checking your email outside of the aircraft?"
"What? Huh? Oh. Yeah, fine." And he stuck his fat ass in my face as he crawled out backward still texting or writing on his mom's Facebook wall or something (what sort of adult exits a helicopter like that??).
What. Huh. Oh. Yeah, fine. ???? I thought I was dealing with a grown man, not an asshole teenager. What sort of adult behaves like this?
"Yeah, thanks. Because, you know, it is a kid's museum." I said.
The guy never looked up from his iPorn.
My kid played on the helicopter and I didn't think much of the guy until later. My daughter and I went to the astronaut area. They have two flight simulators where you can pretend to land the space shuttle. Again, a popular destination.
As we arrived a little girl about 9 years old slid into the only open simulator. I told my kid, "Oh good, you're first in line for when the next one opens up."
I looked over to the other simulator and saw yet another middle aged, portly dad playing with the kids' toys. He was in deep concentration trying to land his space shuttle.
You gotta be fucking kidding me. What are the odds of finding two douchey dads in one day in a deserted museum?
We waited a couple of minutes and then the 9 year old girl realized she'd taken a long enough turn and asked my daughter if she'd like to try. "Yes, please," my daughter replied. The older girl gave up her seat, even though she had not yet successfully landed her space shuttle.
So, of course, passive aggressive slash openly hostile me said loudly, "Thank you for realizing there was someone waiting and giving her a turn. Someone taught you well."
The girl just shrugged, walked over to the douchey dad and said, "Come on, Dad, you've been trying to land that thing for like half an hour! You're embarrassing me."
Her mother must be a saint.
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