The GOOD news is we had a lot of fun on our trip. I know if you read my blog it sounds like it sucked, but since my blog isn't called Rainbows & Unicorns I can't blather on about what a magical time we had watching Adolpha pose for pictures with her favorite Disney character, Pluto (blech) or how I got teary eyed watching my kids frolic in the waves and wondering when they got so big (ugh). I save that crap for myself and spare you all.
The OTHER good news is: I'm number 1!! I'm currently in first place over at Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms. Thanks very much to those of you who got me there. Now, let's see if I can stay there. At first I thought it would be great if I made the Top 25, but once I hit number 1, I really liked how that felt and I'd like to stay there. You can vote every day and you can also vote for more than just me, so if you're torn between two or three of us, rest assured, you can vote for ALL of us.
I added a new button this week: Read My Babble.com Posts. It's pretty self-explanatory.
Top Posts This Week:
Goody Bags That Are Nicer Than the Gift My Kid Gave - This was inspired by an article in the New York Times about outrageous goody bags.
Seriously, Hubs? - This was a conversation between the Hubs and I about what I (nicely) packed for him. I never pack for him, but he was busy and so I helped him out. I won't make that mistake again.
The Happiest Place on Earth - I took the kids to Disney. I saw some interesting people there. And Disney was advertising like a fiend on my blog this week. I think they knew were I was...
Over Achieving Moms and Their Kids' Birthday Parties - This was the doozy of the week. I got this idea from several readers who sent me links to various parties. I went out on the web and found some other parties that inspired me to write this post. One in particular was a birthday party for a 1 year old with a Marie Antoinette theme. I can't make this shit up! Who plans an over the top, excessive party for a one year old based around a queen who lost her head because she was excessive? The irony is killing me!
The woman who threw the party had posted her party on some fabu over achieving party blog so that everyone could see what a beautiful party she could throw. She put her child and her party out there for the world to see. She was more than happy to do this when everyone commented how talented she was, how unique she was, and how gorgeous her party was. She gets a little criticism about her party and she freaks out. She wrote a post on her blog about how offended she was and then she LINKED to me. Priceless. By doing that, her whole family was able to trot over to attack me. Truly. Go through the comments. It's nuts. Her aunt or her grandma or someone called me "ugly." WTF? Other cousins/whoever were quoting Bible verses at me while threatening to punch me (literally) in my face. Wow. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I take it back, this is not an over achieving mom with a gold card. This is some trailer trash, backwoods, inbred psychopathic family who acted like I called the baby names (which I NEVER do and NEVER will).
I thought I could defuse the situation by going to her blog and saying "Bonjour." Here is what I wrote: Bonjour! It's me, Jen. I know that you think I'm these anonymous posters, but I'm not. I don't post anonymously. I'm not evil, I just call it like I see it. And the way I see it is: If you put stuff out there, you're bound to find one or two people who don't care for what you do. I found your party on an over top party blog where THEY posted your pic. It's down now though...unless you give me permission to use it for my Babble.com post on this topic tomorrow...My readers aren't ogres either, I guarantee you'll gain a follower or two today, a lot of over achievers with senses of humor read my blog. Motherhood is hard enough, relax and have a glass of wine and chuckle at your self. That didn't work. If anything, it made her family even angrier. The left some more insulting comments and they told me they were celebrating their French heritage with this party. Apparently, from their behavior I'm guessing their ancestors actually were the ones who chopped off Marie Antoinette's head! They acted like a bunch of peasants with pitchforks and torches storming my blog. But you know what? It didn't even phase me. I could care less that they think I'm "ugly" or mean or whatever.
Here's the thing. I'm not a bully. I'm a bullshit caller. I didn't bully this woman. I didn't call her ugly or tell her God thinks she's ugly or threaten to hit her or tell her I despised her or tell her she sucked (her family did that to me and they're terrible spellers BTW). I didn't even call her an idiot. All I said was her party was stupid. I said her party was laughable. I said her theme was horrifying. You can't plan a party for a one year old where she wears some silk party dress and you hang antique lampshades from trees for ambience or whatever and not expect me to call your bullshit. That party was not for a baby. That party was for you. You submitted it to the fancy-kid-party-everyone-look-what-I-can-plan-blog and you put your shit out there and when someone said it was stupid you cried and called me a bully. I'm not a bully. I'm a mom who is sick and tired and angry. I'm tired of the moms who plan stupid parties and then put them on the web and ask everyone to kiss their asses and look down their noses at the parties the rest of us plan. I speak for the moms who actually plan a first birthday party for a baby. We pick themes like Old MacDonald or Sesame Street, because we know that's what our baby likes. We put our kids in cute birthday outfits, but not ones that they can't move in. Our decorations are streamers and balloons and we serve cake, not petits fours and champagne. If anything, I'm the Equalizer. I see your bullshit and I call you on it. I refuse to let you get away with it. If you don't like what I have to say, then don't put your shit out there where I can find it.
Me - At the Beach - I hate sand. It's plain and simple. I'm in the minority. I know that, but I still thought I should share.
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60 comments:
Dang! People can be soo frickin' sensitive. But ya know the only reason why they attacked you, cause deep down... they knew you were right!
Best rebuttal ever. You are Dean of Students in the School of Blogging. Professor Punch. I continue to learn from you daily. Love and Gratitude. PS - You deserve to be #1...enjoy it.
Pure awesomesauce - thank you for perking up my otherwise crappy Monday.
I'm not going to lie; I saw the party lady's comment and went to see if I could find a party pic. I quit looking but not before reading how horrible, mean, and stupid I must be for enjoying PIWTPITT. Seriously? To complain that someone doesn't know a person but makes assumptions based on one thing then to turn around and do the same seems a bit hypocritical. I appreciate this blog because I like my humor dry and dark. I would probably enjoy the other blog, too, as I'm a crafter and am always looking for inspiration. BUT, I'll pass... Keep making me laugh, Jen!
I am all for a good party. We had a neat Hungry Caterpillar party for my boy's 1st party and it was lovely. My splurge was a $30 cake. We ate pizza and chips and had juice boxes. It was perfectionism (and zero stress). But you are 1000000% right on this one. A) Their party was ridiculous. B)Their responses were juvenile, at best. C) If you do not want to get called on your bullshit, do NOT put your bullshit out there.
Oh, Jen, that was fabulous! Great counter punch!
Huzzah for the great equalizer!
And I'm with you on the sand bit. I HATE how it clings to places you never knew really existed.
And now, I bid you adieu! ;)
Dead on about the Deliverence birthday spawns. And I hate sand too. As you said, don't put your shit out there if you can't take criticism.
Haters gonna hate, girl! You are awesome and deserve all the loyal followers you have!
As always, you're awesome. Seriously, when will this blog become a sitcom?
I HATE SAND!!!! You are not alone!
I hate sand, too. :-) It sticks on everything and isn't comfortable and is just blech.
Hey fellow sand hater (see, you're not alone, the beach sucks!)love the rebuttal. What a bunch of weirdo's!! LOL
I'm about to try my first 'over achieving' birthday party for my little guy's 5th. It will be a lego Star Wars theme (totally chosen by him)but his graphic designer Daddy is going all out with invitations and themed stuff for the party. Maybe I should post some photo's and see if I can get some crazies to comment?
I'm not a fan of sand - but my kids love it. My secret weapon. Baby powder! A little bit of baby powder is the answer to getting all that sand off your body without giving yourself an unpleasant exfoliation treatment.
I'm amazed that people had to seek you out to put you down for your comments. Let it go.
She was angry because you called her out on her need for applause. See, she thought she had that all hidden...like everyone would think it was about her baby and of course no one can laugh at the baby...but you made the distinction. And this is why you are my hero:)
I hate sand. My mom said I hated sand when I was little. I have found that a 13th floor condo on the beach at Gulf Shores is perfect for me. I can smell the water, I can see the horizon, I can hear the waves, I can watch the people. But I don't get any sand on me anywhere. One thing about the sand, my husband and I (before we were married) went to Key West, and drove the western side of Florida. We stopped somewhere, walked out to the water, and came back. On the way in, he saw something shiny in the sand.... found a diamond ring. Not a good one, mind you, but he did trade it in for my wedding rings.
I love you, btw. And I want to be you when I grow up!!
Self-righteous hypocrites are not worth your time. Love your blog. Oh, and I hate the sand in my cheeks too!! :-)
Funny that a family celebrating their one year old's birthday and their French heritage would pick to do so with an Austrian Archdutchess that was hated by the French. Makes me wonder...
On a different note, I am with you on your sand less island! I HATE the beach! But I love your blog!
I am only posting as anonymous because I don't generally post and am not taking the time today to learn how to do it better :)
Lori Dilworth
I hate sand, I hate sun, I hate ocean water (fish pee and POOP in there!! ) I hate sharks, i hate the other people at the beach. So, the beach for me? Not so much. And that birthday party? Seriously? All I want to see at a 1-year-old's party is how much of a mess they can make with the cake. My 3 boys did me proud at their parties. The hose was needed. Not so much a guillotine.
I second that and I am so inspired by you! Tough skin and a clear view! Awesome!
That family needs a little bit of WWJD - What would Jen do? :) Ok silly but I am working on no sleep.
When I read your blog, it makes me proud. Proud to know that there is still real people out there. It makes me feel normal. I chuckle, I smile, and I think of all the moments in life where I have felt like I didn't do enough for my kids because of people like this, and I am grateful that someone speaks for us, the normal parents that have a hard enough time just providing love, shelter, and nourishment for our children.
That's what I say about what fish do in the water,. disgusting things.. lol and ugh sand, you can keep it.!!!
As for the wanker party mum..just goes to show you. If you plan a party like that for your 1 yr old.. you know they wont tolerate some one being negative about it. because as you said.. its not about the child its solely about how I can show up everyone I know.. what a dick... those type of people need some serious exposure to real life.... or maybe I trip to the guillotine themselves...
Like I told the aunt in the last post, I am married to an Englishman. By their thinking, we can have a Princess Diana themed party for our daughter. ("Time to play car chase, kids!")
Same level of taste, as far as I am concerned.
This just proves my point that people are assholes. I LOVE people who can throw shit out there but not take it when it's returned. Good for you, Jen! GREAT response. Congrats on #1 and I think you're fabulous!!!!
Professor Punch! Hahaha... I love it, Goddess!
I was thinking the same thing about Marie Antoinette not being French. You would think if they were French they would know that, especially since she was hated so much for not being French.
I love Nikki's response ONLY because she called her a "wanker party mum". Too funny.
Karen, I have to disagree about the Princess Diana = Marie Antoinette. Marie was hated, and I mean Hated! She even had a campaign (of the political sense, not military) showing her as a good mother and person to try to win the French people over, mostly of painted pictures. They didn't buy it.
By contrast Princess Diana was loved the world over. She was a symbol of beauty, elegance, and charity. I can see why your husband would want to celebrate such a wonderful person who led his country. BUT, what happened to letting kids pick their own theme, or go the more general route so that the children's personalities shine? How about a princess party, and if she wants to pretend she's Diana great, if she wants to pretend shes the one-eyed pirate princess who lives in the forest, also great!
~Nicole
People resort to bullying and name calling when they can't come up with anything intelligent to say. Congrats to the overachievers for making themselves look like assholes. Your response to them was great, and very mature. Too bad they can't be the same way. Just laugh at their stupidity and then let me punch them in the throat for you!!!!
Someone really should pick this up as a series. I mean if there's "how I met your mother" there should be something about this. A stress reliever 4 all d mothers n fathers out there
Mother of 5 and just keeping it real here....but....I think a birthday "party" for a 1 year is so ridiculous if you invite anyone other than immediate family members. Fine if you want to do some small decor or outfit for pictures but THEY ARE ONE! Give me a break! and F that Antoinette shit....WTFC !!!???
Keep on equalizing! I just love, love, love it!
Let them eat cake... birthday cake presumably...
I love this blog!!!! Looking forward to your next adventure :) btw... Screw over achieving moms, I make my own cake and stuff my goodie bags with crap from the dollar store! And I still have one of the happiest kids I know!!!
okay..I have to admit I was about to quit reading you because honestly I was tired of all the negative crap. And I do have a little problem that you pretty much blog anonymously but I get it..it gives you a little more freedom to say what you want without someone trying to burn down your house ( see Marie Antoinette trailer trash over the top birthday party giver)
And you hate the beach..BUT when you said you were a "bullshit caller" whoa..gotta keep reading because that is what you do and calling out the bs'rs can be negative. You do make me laugh but I guarantee that every once in awhile even though we already know this we can take a few words about how awesome your kids are and some more positive stuff..balances out everything else..giving you tons of credit for being real and honest. So rare these days. I am here for the duration!
Just had to let you know you're not on that beach-hating island alone...I'm there too! I don't mind walking past one and taking some nice pictures on top of a cliff; I did that when I was in California for the first time. But I'll be DAMNED if I get in that nasty sand crap and walk around. I don't like sand, I don't like sand being in places it shouldn't be, I don't like cleaning it out of places it shouldn't be. I hate the smell of fish and the smell of the ocean. I went swimming in the ocean ONCE and will never do it again...maybe I'm a neat freak (I doubt it), but the ocean is just plain dirty. Give me a chemically balanced, seaweed, rock and animal-less pool any day!
I feel sick and tired and angry today too. Don't go changin' Jen.
May I be so bold as to suggest a theme song for Punch Nation Marie Antionette -Keep-the-Kiddie-Parties-Simple Club? Apologies for the French theme ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYizXBQ5EQA
If that French lady is really passionate about her party's theme, she shouldnt care about what other people think right? If she loves it, she loves it and no one's opinion should matter. She needs to chill.
About sand, my 2 1/2 year old is usually so adventurous, spunky and open minded about everything but when we do go to the beach, around every other month, she LOATHES the sand and does not stop crying! She insists on sitting on the mat/lounge chair as she half heartedly drags her shovel along the sand. When she sees me and my husband getting ready for a long walk barefoot, she cries and wails and directs us to put our flip flops back on! It's the weirdest thing. And she loves the pool.....
Amen to your "Marie over the top" comments. If you're a blogger, you put yourself out there. Nuff said...
I guess my favorite part of reading the comments is how when one person cuts down your blog, or jumps on your case, your readers stick up for you. I find I don't have to jump in their for you too, they all beat me to it. Now that's a strong fan base :) Keep blogging away, I love reading it.
Thank God she's back... one day without Jen and I was having withdrawals! She had me at "Punch."
You are not the only one out there who hates the beach.... My hubby can't stand it. In fact, we lived at the coast for several years and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I was able to drag him to the beach. Our daughter has also inherited his hatred of sand and it kills me because I LOVE the beach. Oh, well.... Guess it's a good thing we all love Disney for our family vacations and still live close enough to the coast that I can go to the beach by myself.
GOOD FOR YOU about wantabefrenchwoman. Everything you wrote IS correct! That party was for HER not the baby. It was about look at me and how wonderful I am!!!!
That chick needs to get over herself.
YOu're so not alone. I hate sand too, and mountains, and meadows and anything else in the great outdoors. I like looking at pictures of these lovely places....from the climate controlled comfort of my home or a beautiful hotel. I have no desire to go to Hawaii. My ultimate trips are to great cities of the world(I haven't been to any yet, so I just have to look at pictures of them too) where I can shop and people watch and go to museums.
As for the party, she is an idiot if she can't see the humor of her ridonkulous party!
I think...now don't quote me here...but I think Karen might have been completely and totally kidding when she suggested having a Princess Di party.
Valid points, Nicole. I completely agree with you about having the party be about the child. If my daughter wanted a princess party, fine by my husband and me.
However, I was using the Diana example to make a point.
I see Marie Antoinette and Princess Diana as very tragic figures who each had very inflated images in the public eye...one hated, the other beloved. Understanding the truth behind them both is very complicated, since it very hard to decipher what is fact or fiction. We know Marie Antoinette was not as vile as she was portrayed, and Diana had her own problems and issues.
To base a party for a child on an inflated image of noted person in history is silly and tasteless, in my opinion, because it completely misrepresents who those people really were. It's not really honoring anybody's heritage because it is based on myth. This is on top of the point that people made already about the OTT Marie Antoinette party, being the child has no clue she is.
I hope you see where I am coming from a little more clearly.
Cheers!
I sooo love reading your blog. I completely agree about the whole party thing. I dont usually go crazy with a theme. I usually let my kids pick a theme and decorate everything in the colors of whatever the theme is going to be. I dont usually do goodie bags because I put most of my money into the food and cake. I hate going to a party where there is not enough food or drink, but there is a jumpy or slide thingy and party games and goody bags filled with crap that my kids will end up forgetting about in a couple of days.
I think it's funny that the "french" lady invited comments on her blog post about your blog post...and then at the end it says all the comments are moderated. Clearly, she ONLY wants good comments...hahahahaha. What a needy woman. Don't worry about it, I find you hilarious! I keep coming back for more and I don't even HAVE kids! :)
I just sent you an email volunteering for a punch. Gulp!
The remark about celebrating French hertigae is funny. Marie Antionette was not French. So they had to be celebrating the execution....
I just read through the comments on Frenchie's Pity Party Post (hey--there's one party that costs nothing). One could literally write a sonnet dedicated to Frenchie, using all the fluffy words of encouragement and hand holding that's going on over there. In fact:
Frenchie
"Someone has used you, your motherhood,
your beauty, your creativity,
your Angles first birthday party...."
"The world can be an ugly place...."
"Keep on living and sharing your gift."
Wait, that's not a sonnet. Oh well. Just out me as an underachiever.
Don't discount Hawaii if you hate the beach. The hubs and I went about 10 years ago, and I think my feet only touched sand once, maybe twice, just to say I felt the water. I don't believe I ever put my swimsuit on the whole cruise. Best excursion? Renting a Harley on Maui. In a month we're going back. Renting a motorcycle on every island the cruise visits. I won't go so far as to say I'm a beach-hater, but my tolerance is pretty low.
Regarding b-day parties: when I was a SAHM, my kid's parties were a bit more elaborate than what they evolved to, but not expensive - just "crafty". That said, 3 kids grown now and I think I can count on my 2 hands the total number of birthday parties thrown, if that. I once read a good rule of thumb for children's birthday parties: The number of non-family children invited should be no greater than the age of the birthday child.
Don't listen to anyone just come up with some more bs for me to laugh at, I REALLY need a laugh. You should come to my house and I'll introduce you to the "dog" people. They're dogs are all "friends", I bet they have parties for them too....aaaaaakkkk I just vomited in my mouth.
YOU ARE NOT A BULLY!!! Three exclamation points so you REALLY aren't. You are,however, the funniest part of my day! Keep the bullshit meter on!
LMAO at "Deliverence birthday spawns"!
Thanks to all of you for the laughs...
I love the beach but totally hate sand too... did you know if you sprinkle baby powder on you before you get in the car it all comes off? So now you just have to decide what you hate more... sand or the smell of baby powder! Amazing blog, you make me and my mommy friends laugh alllllll the time. Also I am posting anonymously because I don't have any of these accounts, not because I am a creeper. ;) Thanks for the great writing!
Fifi only allows "approved comments"
How very pollyanna of her...
Maybe she needs an French-to-english dictionary so she can look up words like "bully" and "hypocrite"
I love that you called that party lady out. I have been trying to find ideas for my kids 3rd birthday on pinterest, and I pin things and think, "Who the heck has the time/money/motivation to put this kind of crap together?" I just am looking for ideas on how to make a Larry Boy balloon or an Elmo cupcake. A birthday party should not cost more than my wedding.
BTW found the blog and she has removed the post, according to the link I followed....found the featured pictures but went to see the original post and le poof it's gone. LOL too funny
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