I Hate Hypocrites

What is wrong with this statement that was posted on a friend's Facebook wall after she pimped out my blog:

"I refuse to read this blog just based on the title.  I don't like people who pass judgment on other people for no good reason.  I think she should get to know the people she's writing about before she judges them. The Golden Rule is still golden!"

Don't judge me for judging you.

I don't have the direct quote anymore, but that was the gist of it. There was some more crap about judging with emotions, blah, blah, blah. It was sooooo self-righteous I lost interest half way through and quit reading.

Valentine's Day Response

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Even When the SHTF Men Have it Easier Than Women

Every woman, "I can't wear that thing, it will ruin my hair!"
Source: Pexels

I've noticed that with the climate right now there is a lot of disaster-preparedness going on. I'm in a bunch of private groups on Facebook where the discussion revolves around what to take when the shit hits the fan (SHTF for the pros out there), either man-made or natural disaster, and you've got to move out quickly.

Since I'm a bit of a worrier (and I have a shopping addiction) I decided that maybe we needed to be prepared. After all, we do live in Kansas and we're known for volatile weather. I started doing some prepping--not real prepping, mind you, I'll still be eaten by the first wave of zombies, I'm a suburban veal--and I quickly discovered that prepping for a disaster is a lot like packing for a horrible trip that no one wants to go on. I also discovered that even when the SHTF the men will still have it easier.

Top 12 Lessons for My Kids in a Trump Presidency

Photo: whitehouse.gov

Well, the inauguration is over. It finally happened. Some of you are jumping for joy and yelling "Praise the Lord!" Some of you are cowering in your basements, recounting your hoarded canned goods because surely this is Armageddon. But I would bet that a lot of you are like me: nervous, agitated, frustrated, emotional, all rolled into one exhausted ball. I feel like I've been living with a weight on me since November 8th. A weight of "What's going to happen?" Well, now we'll find out. Now we'll finally start our four years with Donald J. Trump. Now we'll see if he's all lies and smoke and mirrors or if he's going to do the things he promised (and threatened).

NASA Needs Lazy People

Do you really ever have enough money? Aren't we all looking for a little extra cash? Especially now after the holidays?

Well, I'm here to help. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I told the pregnant ladies how to make a little more dough on the side? This time I have a tip for the rest of you. In fact, the pregnant ladies can't even apply for this job. Sorry, preggos, just go pee on some more sticks and sell them to jokesters around the world. You'll feel better.

The money making opportunity that I've found for you is a part time gig. Your new employer would need you for 70 days and in return you would earn $10,000. Also, you can add NASA to your resume when you're done with this one. Hello, Smarty Pants!

Sounds good, right?

The only thing that would make this job better would be if NASA needed to know how full body massages affect microgravity too. 

DON'T Shut Your Mouth

Over the years I've come up with a bunch of silly New Year's Resolutions like drink more water or hang up my coat. Well, this year, I've just got one: Don't stay silent.

Now you might think, "Gee, Jen, I didn't know that you stayed silent on much. You're kind of a ranter and you tend to yell a lot. Are there really things you're staying silent on?"

YES. There are. For instance, when I see someone in public behaving badly, I tend to steer myself away from them, I don't want to get involved, I'm exhausted. Over the years I've begun to feel worn down. I feel like, "What's the point? I'm never going to change anything." Well, it's time to make a scene. It can make a difference. There is a point. It's time to call out bad behavior when I see it. Loudly and clearly. When I witness even the smallest acts of racism or sexism or homophobia or xenophobia or whatever, I will no longer shrug it off and mutter, "Asshole" under my breath and hope that someone else educates them. Instead, I will speak up and I will say, "Hey, that's wrong and here's why."

And when I see blatant racism like this piece of shit JC Penney shopper who ranted like a maniac, I won't stand there silently. I won't listen to an angry, scared old woman yell at Latina shoppers, "Go back to where you came from" and "I bet you're on welfare!" and then ultimately bring it all back to Donald Trump, because of course she did. I will sing Kumbaya and I will ask, "What would Jesus do right now? I'm pretty sure not tell someone to go back to where they came from or speculate how their purchases are being made. Or brag that he voted for a pussy-grabber." I will teach her some facts. Like the United States actually has no official language. And, unless you're a Native American, you're the descendant of immigrants who once came here and probably didn't fit in real well at first. 

How I Stay Stress-Free During the Holidays

Growing up, my mom made Christmas perfect in every way. We had multiple trees decorated with their own themes, Christmas dishes that we ate every single meal on (including snacks), constant roaring fires, delicious smells wafting through the house from her endless baking, and Christmas music blaring from every speaker we owned. My mom made it looks easy. She took her Christmasing very seriously--and still does today. If you don't believe me, check out the video I made that showcases just the decorations in the guest bathroom.

As a child I took it for granted that everyone had a mom that could trim a tree, bake fudge, and wrap a billion gifts in an afternoon with a smile on her face. I thought all moms could do that. Looking back now I'm trying to see if my mom ever uttered cries for help. I don't think she did. I think she is a rare beast who really enjoys all of that stuff.