The Mom Who Brought Vagina Cookies for School Snack

Have you ever brought baked treats into your child's classroom? I bet you have. Maybe a cupcake or a cookie. Maybe you're the parent who brings the fruit or veggie tray. Maybe all you could manage were individually wrapped cheese sticks. All fine snacks, right? I bet never once did you think to yourself, "Ooooh, I should bring vagina cookies to my second grader's class today!"

That's because you're not insane.

That's right, here's a story that's going around Reddit that I thought I'd share with you. Some cuckoo lady who loves her lady bits brought a tray of vagina pastries to her second grader's classroom the other day. She plopped her pan of pussies on the teacher's desk and demanded they be handed out and enjoyed to their fullest. She felt like this was a good teaching moment for 7 year olds to learn about the finer nuances of what makes a vagina so special. What better way to do this than through cookies?

I'm Hallmark Approved. Sorta.

OK, so picture this. I'm sitting in my office in my pjs and I get an email saying something like, "Hi Jen, I represent Hallmark and we'd love to work together. Let me know if you're interested." (I mean, obviously, it was a better crafted letter than that, but close enough for blogging, right?)

I finish reading the email and I start looking around for TV cameras, because I'm obviously being punked. Nobody jumped out from behind the door and yelled, "Just kidding!" so I wrote back: "Are you sure you have the right Jen? This is Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat. Are you sure you're talking about THE Hallmark? The people who make Christmas ornaments and those card commercials that make me cry, right?" 

The World's Saddest Mannequin

If you're friends with me on Facebook, then you probably saw me share this picture the other day.

Image: Reddit

It's the world's saddest mannequin.

At first I thought she was just sad because she'd always dreamed of being a mannequin in Nordstrom and instead she got The Salvation Army.

Birthday Mom Goes Crazy and Sends a Bill to a No-Show

Surely by now you've all heard about the kid who got a bill for $24 when he was a no-show to a classmate's birthday party.

You haven't heard this overachieving tale of WTF?

Where have you been? It's all the talk in the carpool line, my email is blowing up with links to the articles, and one of my mom's friends even mentioned it to me today.

OK, so let me fill in those of you who must live on a deserted island.

Boost Your Libido AND Pass Out All At The Same Time

The FDA approved a new drug called Addyi -- pronounced "Addie." (Yeah, I don't know why it's spelled so stupidly, but it is.) It's being touted as the "female Viagra."

I don't know about you, but my friends and I talk a lot about how little interest we have to get it on these days. We've always got a list of about 30 other things that need to be done before we can sexy time, so a drug to help get us in the mood SOUNDED like a terrific idea. That's right, ladies, this little pink pill could revolutionize your pathetic prowess in the bedroom!

But before you start gobbling these pills like Tic Tacs, let's take a closer look at the harmful side effects:

Anyone Who Throws an Ultrasound Party

Oh thank God there is a new trend in parties we can throw for pregnant women!

I was really starting to worry about party planners. I was beginning to think they were hurting for business. I mean how were they earning their keep once kids didn't need elaborate first birthday parties or potty parties anymore?

I was also so concerned for those pregnant moms out there who were feeling like they weren't getting quite enough attention. Let's see, they peed on a stick and posted the results on Youtube, had a gender reveal party where they released doves that had been dyed pink or blue into the sky and a boring old baby shower (everyone and their grandmother had a baby shower!). These pregnant moms were suffering from lack of adoration and needed a little pick me up.

To Breastfeed or Not to Breasfeed

I read an article about the New Zealand La Leche League protesting a picture of a dad feeding his baby daughter a bottle.  The picture was part of a PSA ad for not smoking.  The ad ended with the man saying he wouldn't smoke because he has a baby in his house and then he feeds his baby a bottle.

The LLL decided this was not the proper message that needs to be sent out to New Zealand and they pressured the government to edit the ad and remove the feeding.  They think that by showing a father feeding his baby a bottle in an ad completely un-related to breastfeeding it will somehow sully the message that breast is best.

Never once did LLL consider for a moment that it really isn't their fucking business why this man is feeding his baby a bottle.