I'm Jen Mann (my real name) - I write this blog and New York Times best-selling books.
The books I wrote:
How I F*cking Did It (TPM, 2019)
Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat (TPM, September 2017)
Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Ballantine, October 2015)
People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Daycare Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges (Ballantine, September 2014)
And I've also got short original essay collections:
People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Volumes 1-6 (TPM 2017)
The anthologies I published (and wrote for):
Will Work for Apples (2019)
You Do You! (2018)
But Did You Die? (2017)
I Just Want to Be Perfect (2016)
I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone (2015)
I Just Want to Be Alone (2014)
I Just Want to Pee Alone (2013)
(If you've read these books already, PLEASE consider leaving me a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. Those are incredibly helpful to authors and I would love you more than my favorite pair of Crocs if you left me one.)
I'm a hybrid author. I'm published by Ballantine (Penguin Random House) and I also self-publish. I've had traditional and self-published books hit the New York Times best-selling list. I am represented by Steve Troha and Erin Niumata at Folio.
If you like my blog, then you'll love all of these books. You can get them all right here.
I started a podcast in 2019 with Denise Grover Swank called Two Midlife Mommas.
I am married to the Hubs, I have two kids: Gomer and Adolpha (not their real names - their real names are actually worse).
I started this blog in April 2011 and in a few months time I grew to 70 regular readers (most of whom I am related to). In December 2011, I wrote a post called "Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies." It sat dormant for a week and then suddenly out of nowhere it went viral. (Don't ask me how. I wish I knew. If I did, I'd do it every single day. Right?) Overnight I gained several thousand followers on Facebook. At last check I have over 1 million followers on social media. Since then I've worked really hard to entertain my readers and to keep people coming back for more.
I live in Kansas. It doesn't blow as much as you would think. I've lived in New Jersey, New York, Iowa, and Illinois before and I can say that Kansas isn't the worst place I've lived.
This blog is called People I Want to Punch in the Throat not Rainbows and Unicorns. I'm a funny writer who was once described as "acerbic with a surprising warmth." I like that description a lot, so I keep using it. I've also been described as Erma Bombeck - with f-bombs. Erma would hate that, but I think that's high fucking praise. If you don't have a sense of humor and you can't laugh at yourself, then this isn't the place for you. Thanks for stopping by, but don't waste your time leaving in a huff, it just makes me want to hire a band to see you out the door.
I write a lot and it can be a bit overwhelming. If you're not sure where to start reading, try Jen's TOP 11 Favorite Posts, these aren't the most popular, but they're my favorites.
I've done a lot of speaking and I really enjoy it. I've spoken at numerous conferences and events around the country, including BlogHer, Mom Summit 2.0, Blog U, Idaho Writer's Guild, Missouri Writer's Guild, and more.
I do write sponsored content occasionally, but only for brands I really, really like. I like to work with brands that are a good fit for me and my audience. A couple of the brands I've worked with are Responsiblity.org, Hallmark/Shoebox, and Enell. (All of my favorite things: booze, sarcasm, and supportive bras.)
Thanks!!
PS. If you like what I've written, PLEASE feel free to share the link. But DON'T cut and paste the entire blog post on your blog or anywhere else and THEN link back to me. I am so not cool with that.
COPYRIGHT: All of the content on this blog is copyrighted by Jen Mann. Written words or photos may not be used or reproduced without written consent from the author. "People I Want to Punch in the Throat" is trademarked.
Disclaimer: My site is full of affiliate links and if you buy stuff through my ads, I will make some change from your sale. Thanks.
I have a similar theme to my life motto. While I do generally want to punch people in the throat my creed is "I hate people". The person that insists on pulling out of their parking spot in front of me then proceeds to drive down the 4 stories of the parking garage at .1 mile per hour and makes me late for daycare pick up or the security guard in my office building that insists on unplugging my industrial coffee maker at night making it take an extra milla-second to make the MUCH needed coffee in the morning! Thanks for your negativity! Really does brighten my day!
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DeleteHi, I'm not a mother, but seriously I have a dog and I can't seem to pick up after her let alone children. I get supremely annoyed at "do it all Moms" that ooze perfect everythings. Thank you for making me laugh and knowing that some one will hold the person down while I punch them in the throat. I would also like to deliver a kidney shot if that's ok with you.
ReplyDeleteAndrea
I think I love you, Jen. Happily shared (repeatedly) "Elf" post on Twitter last night, and discussion spilled right over into today... internationally, too! Was thanked for sharing with friends on Facebook. I wanted to go out and scream from my mile high hell - Highlands Ranch Colorado - "READ THIS BLOG!!" after one of my friends turned me on to it. You write how my heart wishes my brain could make my fingers spit stuff out onto my keyboard. I write the most depressing blog on www. My name is Lil... and I'll say it again: I love you.
ReplyDeleteCheers
okay hilarious Blog. End of story.
ReplyDeleteYou are my type of person. Love you insight and wit. If you are ever up in Mass. I will gladly assist in some throat punching. Holiday letters are almost as annoying as the elf. I am sure man invented the elf. One more annoying thing to do this time of year. If I moved my elf now, the kids would be suspicious, as they believe he is injured.
ReplyDeleteWe might actually be siblings, I am married to a Korean, so that makes our kids siblings! LOL, I have enjoyed your blog, you are a talented writer (there goes the we are related thing) and keep up the funnies....
ReplyDeletemight have to punch KatieDidn't in the throat for her "I'm married to a Korean, so that makes our kids siblings!" comment. Chinese-American and Korean-American kids are not siblings. I'm Japanese and was married to a caucasian American woman. Our kids are not siblings just because of the similarity. You know what? Know why Koreans hate Japanese? Google it, KatieDidn't and be glad I don't punch you in the throat.
ReplyDeletekyodan75, I think we are siamese twins because I've never been to Japan and I only pretend to love sushi! And I'm white with a Vietnamese last name, wait, who the hell am I? hahah I'll hold KatieDind't down for ya!
ReplyDeleteJen, Why don't you see about writing in a Newspaper Column or wait idiots don't read newspapers! Maybe a craiglist ad? One that will edjuwmacate those people who need throat punching? I hate em! So I guess you're pretty famous now and I'm hooked too. I can't wait to send out my "What A Fuznuck Year This Has Been Christmas Letter- scratch letter, changed to Demands!
Ok, I signed up so I can comment, as per your request. Plus that school supply blog had be crying and peeing (I had weak bladder before my two kids also, now worse!). I love all your stuff, and I am following you on facebook too. #fairlyaddicted
ReplyDeleteI live in kansas too! :) Love your blog. Made my day.
ReplyDeleteThe Elf blog cracked me up. Wished I had written it. My blog is mrsbeansblog.blogspot.com. I linked over to yours-- I think we share a similar reader base.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will not be a douche and steal your material!!!
Hysterical blog - Great work! Our elf comes out during the year to threaten our child into doing normal things like cleaning his room and brushing his teeth. Why would I have him to naughty things and make additional messes for me to clean up? I have a kid and a husband for that. I actually lost the elf for a few days this week. I thought that I accidentally wrapped him until my husband found him in the chandelier. Good times.
ReplyDeleteI adore you. My BFF and I have back n forth's very similar to this. She writes - I bitch. You are welcome to move into the old folks home with us.
ReplyDeleteMy husband suggested we should put our elf under the trusty old minivan and roll over a portion of his leg so he couldn't break free to wreak havoc in our house at night. Worked for me, but the small children who overheard that comment were slightly traumatized.
ReplyDeletehttp://webberstories.blogspot.com
I am the Southern version of you...which means I'd be ex-communicated if I dared use grown up language. :)
As someone who spends a good portion of the day being surrounded by people I'd like to punch in the throat, I find your blogs so refreshing. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI read your writings, so that I won't kill...THANK YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteDitto...
ReplyDeleteGood stuff. Keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteHi,it's me, still cyber stalking you...Have you read thebloggess?? She is hilarious, I think you two would get along great!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! It's the only one I have ever followed. You are writing what I have been thinking!
ReplyDeleteI need more friends like you!
Thanks for making me laugh.
I find you so relatable! I have 3 girls (2 of them share a birthday 2 years apart). I share many of your same views, sometimes I could swear you are in my head!
ReplyDeleteI guess what I'm trying to say is that I love, love, love your blog. Keep up the great work!
I'm glad to have come across your blog ... now I know why I can't find MY keys ... LOL :) Thanks for the laughs and smiles!!!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you have to explain that your blog is a joke is sad... Sad that there are douche canoes (thank you for that term, BTW) that don't get that. I've followed you on twitter for a couple of months now and yes, we were separated at birth. My girls are 2 years apart minus 3 days. You'd think we planned that... Thanks for making me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I found this blog. Please keep me smiling !!
ReplyDeleteIve been laughing so damn hard reading through your blogs. I share similar views on this wonderful world we live in. Seriously, if we can't find humor around us on a daily basis, that's really sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite short in stature, so I end up wanting to punch most people in the taco. Can we still be friends?
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog today when my cousin shared on FB. LOVE IT!! I agree with everything I have read so far, I learned about "douche canoe" and have added it to my vocabulary, and I can't wait to read more!! Keep on throat punching!!
ReplyDeleteYou went to LPHS, right? I graduated in 93 and I vaguely remember someone telling me your maiden name, though I'm not stupid enough to post it publicly. I have a blog as well if you ever wanna check it out. It's been a few years since I updated it, because it's about dating and I'm currently in a relationship that's facebook private, lmao. Anyway, I love your shit. http://frogsandmrbig.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteHmmm...wonder if you are talking about the same LPHS that I went to??? Hmmm...that would be pretty cool!
ReplyDeleteI list one of my favorite things on Facebook as "sarcasm." I'm married to a mom of 2 that can be a little satirical and bitchy. What fun is a sweet woman. I actually said today before stumbling upon your blog "I'm going to punch that guy in his throat." Keep punchin'. Feel free to visit my pretentious travel blog, yeah I know it's pretentious and do it anyway, all in an attempt to make the kids one day believe we loved them because we took them places!
ReplyDeleteive only read two posts of yours but i already can relate and love it!!
ReplyDeleteHmm...i'm eclectic mix between your attitude and DIYness. I do it myself because it's cheaper. I refuse to pay $120 for tutu dress (made one, it cost $45 and I learned to sew). I have always contemplating doing a "me" blog. The me that your parents don't get to meet unless they piss me off and I forget. I'm happy to see someone did it.
ReplyDeleteYou live in KS? I live in KS! Well raised here, then moved to the East Coast. NOw back again. You're right, it doesn't blow as much as you'd think. I love all the Wizard of Oz references don't you? What part of KS? I could totally see myself plotting to punch the same people in the throat. You say all I want to say aloud, but would probably be frowned upon. Keep it up, you make my days bright ;o)
ReplyDeleteOk I live in OP, Ks and I knew you lived in Ks when I read your carpool rant! The bus is expensive and we also don't have sidewalks from our neighborhood to our school - hmmm.
ReplyDeleteSo glad a friend sent me to your blog! Hilarious. Ironically, I have a real life list that I started about 2 years ago with the title "People I Would Love to Shank, Prison Style" based only on their abilities to annoy me. Glad I found a sister in arms. :)
ReplyDeletei live 15 minutes from you. south. i love you in the way that I could totally be your twin; you are the bold one and i'm the chicken shit one that won't say anything. thank you for giving my thoughts a voice!! la, in spring hill ;)
ReplyDeleteI used to live in NY and NJ .. now I live in Buenos Aires.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to have found your blog through one of my "followers" and I am sure I will start my days laughing more often now.
And yes, definitely, your blog is my kinda thing !
chau, besos, C
OK hey Jenn, have you heard of this thing called John C Mayer'ing someone? Where you strive to be #1 on someones google search. Aunt Becky of mommywantsvodka wrote all about it back in ought 10 -
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mommywantsvodka.com/for-being-pranksters-we-dont-do-nearly-enough-pranking-right-john-c-mayer
Then I was reading some of the peoples stuff that took the challenge with other celebs and found a Tina Fey one...
http://amberpagewrites.com/2010/09/why-cant-i-be-more-like-tina-s-fey.html
And she was actually #1 on the google when you typed in Tina Fey....genius. I bet you were on the top page when you wrote your letter to her.
Anyhoo....Aunt Becky tells all about how to make it happen. Funny, I thought.
Well, arent I terrible at linking? I am clueless. :)
ReplyDeleteLove the Kansas legislator's post and I'm scared shitless. I'll won't be voting for Republicans, either.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Great to meet you today!
Kari
Your posts always make me laugh so hard I end up having to read the posts out loud to explain why I'm falling out of my chair laughing. I can related to every post... Strangely I have not known many people I relate to at all (wink). Thank you for making me laugh when I need to so badly, and for reminding me of the lighter side of the things that make me so insane. Keep sharing and inspiring those of us who feel the same way, we just can't put it into words as eloquently.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm home... or in your home and it's a lot like my home. Anyway, good to be here!
ReplyDeleteJoCo is one of the strangest places I've ever lived. Thanks for being funny. We need more of it around here.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably a good thing that there wasn't a thing called blogging when my kids were younger, I'd be in all sorts of trouble with my kids. I love your stuff, its great to come home to a laugh after work, although it was at work that I found out about your blog. I had never even heard of you, your blog, or the damned elf on a shelf until a customer told me all about it. Its amazing the things you can learn while asking your bar patrons how they like their iPads/tablets. Keep it coming.
ReplyDeleteAny help you could give a technology challenged person join your message boards would be greatly appreciated. I tried but apparently I can't click the damned signup buttons correctly. If you can help me, I create a drink for you.
Love, love, love your blog! My best friend Heather and I talk about it all of the time. We think you would be an awesome person to know in real life. Didn't realize you lived close to us! We are Northlanders. (Kansas City, MO) Keep up the funny stuff and maybe we can make it to your next mixer. :)
ReplyDeleteJen, love love love! People always looked at me funny when I said I had a punch in the face list, I think punching in the throat is both funnier and more efficient...
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious and I always enjoy your posts here and on Facebook. I nominated you for the "One Lovely Blog Award." Check out the details here: http://thecoffeeclubandme.wordpress.com/
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog. I obviously took way too long to find you since I just spent 2 hours reading everything...I could have spent 3 minutes each day, but nooooo, I have to wait and find you after tons of posts that I had to read all of because they were all so freakin' awesome. LOVE it. I found you from Let Me Start by Saying and all those BlogHer posts. Thanks for writing what you think ~ I'll be following for sure.
ReplyDeleteI saw something and started dying laughing, it totally reminded me of you: I used to be a people person, then I met people.
ReplyDelete:)
I just finished reading your article on sports bras and you had me at 38ddd. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou in Your awesomeness is absolutely wonderful. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteThe worst place is Iowa wasn't it? Iowa blows (sorry Iowanians)
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping me laughing when I really want to go postal.
Just found your blog (via the Over Achieving Elf on a Shelf Mommies post) I just have to say one thing about over-achieving moms: they're not just competing with other moms! Oh, no! It turns out, they're in a general competition with anyone with a pulse. I am not a mom, but I learned long ago not to ever mention that I'm tired, busy, stressed, or anything along those lines to one of these moms. They will be quick to remind you that there's NO WAY you could be as tired/busy/stressed/whatever as they are! Yes, even being tired is a competition, people!!
ReplyDeleteWell guess what, crazy-ass, overachieving maniac moms! You win! You can be as tired/awesome/anal as you want! Bake your Elf little elf cake pops with homemade sprinkles and organic food coloring, decorated to match the little elf apron you made right after you canned those heirloom veggies you grew over the summer. I'm exhausted just thinking about it!!
Funny stuff, except for the part where you live in Kansas. That sounds like it stings a bit.
ReplyDeleteHello, Jen. I think you are a genius. I was browsing for an apt book that would reflect the feelings I had during the past holiday season and found yours. I had to post a photo of it in my blog and linked back to this site. I didn't even have to finish reading this blog (but which I will do and follow after), just to post this message, because I believe your mind is like an extension of so many who posted alongside with me here. It is euphoric. My name is Lone Ly -- or Lonely Wife for some. Not my real name, of course, and I write in a very angry blog, called, “I So Hate My Husband”. Shameless plug, sorry. But unlike you, I am a coward who can't even show myself up in writing about those who I hate -- particularly, the family of my husband. I am from across the globe (Asia), but travel to the West/East Coast for a vacation with my parents and siblings when my dear husband's time (and money) would permit. I would gladly assist you in your adventures in punching people in the throat when I am there. I see there are a lot of us here who would join you in that, and that is good. The more, the merrier. I wish you could someday visit my city (Manila), so we could put our hands together and punch away those I want to annihilate. Congratulations for being bitchy, negative, and all -- like me. Now I can honestly say I am normal!
ReplyDeleteThis blog caught my attention after seeing a share by a FB friend. My 17 yo daughter has been talking about punching people in the throat for months now so I was intrigued. Her adoption of this sentiment precedes slightly her stated desire to become a cop, and I hope the 2 are not connected. I did point out to her that being a duly appointed officer of the law may actually prohibit her ability to actually punch people in the throat, but in her infinite wisdom and optimism of youth, she remains unfazed and has gotten herself accepted at a college that will teach her to be a cop... anyways... I read your top 11 and even the elf/shelf thing and it is quite amusing. I am a father of 2(20 yo son) and husband of 1 (23 years or so...). I read The Hubs stuff too and like it's brevity but prefer the tone of your blog. There is an almost innocent appeal to a throat punch vs. other imagined forms of violence, and I like it. I will continue to read and enjoy.
ReplyDeleteyou are one of my heroes!!
ReplyDeleteholy crap, i also live in kansas. living large in the north op ghetto. if you know where the op is, we can be pals. i write and blog, too, and make fun of stuff. you rock.
ReplyDeleteLove it keep it up!! I will read you everyday
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! I was telling my hubby about it and he wants to read it too. You're hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI came across a link to your blog on FB and couldn't stop laughing. So, I asked my sister for your two books for Christmas. BEST present EVER!!! I can't put them down and my husband now has to listen as I read excepts to him. You are HILARIOUS! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the words from my mouth and thoughts from my head and making them more sarcastic, funnier, and just MORE. It's a comfort to know that there is at least one other person in the world as weird as me... and my elder daughter. And I use the word "weird" in the nicest possible way.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know that someone with similar views as me lives in my city! It gets lonely among the crazies sometimes :) http://toolongdidntwrite.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteNew to your blog, because I just heard you on a podcast ParentNormal. Have you ever thought about doing a podcast? I think you would be really fun to listen to.
ReplyDeleteIf you are ever bored at the computer I have a humorous youtube channel that you might find mildly funny, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF5DlQp681rwiF10HYo3ynw
Are you the same person who started the blog "Things I Want to Punch in the Face" back in 2009?
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteHaha, ok.
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of Jen Mann until searching for a humor book on audiobooks. I just finished listening to this book as an audiobook. I was not impressed by the voice reading the book. It is possible that much of the humor of this book was lost due to the audio reader just like a standup comedian can be a flop using a joke whereas another guy kills the same joke.
ReplyDeleteErma Bombeck was hysterical in her writing. I didn't find much in this book to be on Erma's level of humor. Maybe reading this book myself would have changed my perception of the humor.