Suburban Moms' Endless Conversation Loop

I should know better by now.  If I leave my house I'm going to encounter people who bug me.  In the last few weeks I've left the house a lot.  I've been spending a lot of time at the pool and the movies and shopping.  I encountered so many groups of moms clustered in Target aisles, observing swimming lessons and/or waiting for a movie to start.  I could overhear their conversations and I realized they talk about the same shit.  All.  The.  Time.  It didn't matter where I was, it was just variations of the same conversation on a loop.  Here's a mash up with all the topics covered:

Holiday Moms I Want to Punch in the Throat

The Overachiever—The holidays are a stressful time of year and the rest of us are doing the best we can. Why must she set the bar so high for the rest of us? Who really wants to wear matching Christmas sweaters for the entire family (including the dog) while caroling through the neighborhood and distributing homemade cookies and fudge to all your neighbors? Does is really make her life easier to have a unique wrapping paper for each member of her family's gifts? It's one thing to put lights in the front of your house, but when she lit the back of her house too, she crossed a line.

The Humblebragger—We get it, her life is incredible, but she can't brag outright about it. Instead she takes to social media to wrap her brag in a thinly veiled complaint. She lets us know just how impossible it is to take a cruise for two weeks at Christmas time! Simply finding a place to board the dog and the hamster is impossible while trying to pack casual resort wear, dressy resort wear, and a formal gown. Plus, the flight leaves at 6 AM. Are you kidding? It would be easier for her to stay home. Right.