Ladies, Stop Steaming Your Vaginas

Last week, I had to hop a plane to DC for a couple of days. I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. And then I realized it was only because I was traveling alone! For once, I only had to worry about myself instead of keeping track of my kids and all their crap. Or so I thought...

It wasn't until I got to my hotel and fired up my computer and saw the breaking international news that Gwyneth Paltrow is steaming her vagina (I assume with a side of broccoli - that girl is a vegan multi-tasker) that I realized what I had forgotten. The little blinking light in the corner of the screen told me that my battery was low and the end was near. My computer would shut down in 1 minute unless I plugged it in. I reached into my empty bag and discovered that I'd left my cord at home.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

How could the universe conspire against me like this? GWYNETH is STEAMING her VAGINA and I haven't got a computer that works!!