Parents Who Steal & Are Disgusting

Yesterday I received an email from a friend telling me that her 6 year son had his scooter stolen while they were at a local park.  She was really upset because the park had been very busy and she'd taken her eyes off the scooter for just a few minutes and it was gone.

She started thinking about a culprit and she really couldn't come up with a "usual suspect".  There weren't any middle or high schoolers there on their own who might have stolen the scooter to show off or just be dicks.  It was all young kids who were supervised by (seemingly mature, law abiding) adults.  Ha!  Little did she know there was a thief with her at the park.

WTF Files: Random Sh*t on the Internet

I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been hanging around the blog much these last several months. It's not that I don't want to, it's because I have to. I've been super duper busy working on a new book. Only this one is taking me a little longer, because it's not a PIWTPITT book, it's my first fiction book. EEEEEK!!! I've been working on it for a long ass time, but it always got shoved to the bottom of my to-do list. I finally decided that this year was the year I'd move it to the top of the list and make it a priority. Even blogging can't get in the way.

BUT ... I couldn't help myself today. See, even though I haven't been blogging much, I'm still keeping up with all the shenanigans on Facebook. I have to have SOME fun distractions while I'm writing. Luckily, my friends on Facebook never fail me. They send me some of the weirdest, freakiest, funniest shit and I wanted to share it with you.

Tooth Monster Dolls - OK, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen in a long time. You know how when your kids lose their teeth and you collect them. What do you do with them? I have a Ziploc bag full of teeth hidden in my sock drawer. I have no idea what I'll do with them. I didn't want to throw them away because they were so sweet, etc., etc., but now I have a bag of teeth in my drawer. Like a serial killer or something. Well, don't worry, Pinterest has come to our rescue. Now you can make a Tooth Monster Doll and glue or sew the baby teeth into the mouth and your child can be too terrified to sleep at night because his new doll has a mouth of gleaming choppers poised to take off a finger or two. Also, what are those eyes made out of????

Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!

This morning I woke up and found out that Target kind of hates plus-sized women.

So, there's this Mossimo maxi dress that comes in standard sizes and plus sizes. The standard size comes in a grey color Target calls "Dark Heather Grey" and the plus size version is called "Manatee Grey."

I blew my tea out of my blow hole when I read that.

Manatee Grey?? How is this an attractive color name to begin with? How did they come up with Manatee Grey? I would love to hear the names that didn't make the cut. Was "Saggy Elephant Trunk Grey" taken? No one liked "Water Buffalo Grey?" Maybe they were going to offer this dress in different colors, but they couldn't come up with equally offensive names. What about "Big Blue Whale?" How about "Brown Cow?" Did they even consider "Beluga - Oh God, My Eyes! - White?"

Hey Girl, when you're done wearing your Manatee Grey maxi dress, can I borrow it? Because Target thinks we look about the same size.

Target swears this was not an intentional slight towards women with a little more cushion for the pushin' and the color "Manatee Grey" is one of their new colors for spring on many products in the company such as towels, rain boots, and t-shirts.

Yeah, I'm guessing only the beach towels are called Manatee Grey (because Beached Whale Grey didn't make the cut) and the hand towels are Dark Heather Grey.