Top 10 Ways Members of Congress are Like Toddlers
1. They love the sound of their own voice, and they think everyone else does too.
2. They try to manipulate us with tears.
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| Turn off the waterworks, no one's buying it. |
3. They whine when they can't have their own way.
4. They love to read Dr. Seuss.
5. They don't know what irony means, so it's adorable when they tell you that Green Eggs and Ham is one of their favorite books even though it's a story about a guy who refuses to try anything new and strange because he's afraid he'll hate it and then finally he relents and realizes it's amazing.
6. They don't understand where babies come from.
7. They like expensive toys and hate school.
8. They are selfish and always looking out for themselves and their own best interests.
9. They are think they are precious snowflakes living in a bubble and have no idea that there are consequences to their actions.
10. When they get angry, they take their toys and go home to pout in a corner.
Get your shit together, Congress! ALL of you! Don't forget - you have jobs now, but elections are coming and this kind of behavior gives me an itchy voting finger ...
Your mothers need to put you in time out. I'd say you need a good spanking, but I think too many of you would enjoy it!
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Love this! Spot on!
ReplyDelete535 punches in the throat! Yay!
ReplyDeleteExactly!
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Haha!
ReplyDeleteAMEN SISTA! I think that every single person that is affected by this should camp out in their Congressperson's home driveway. They need to SEE these PEOPLE - they are REAL HUMAN BEINGS and not numbers on a report. They are acting like spoiled, petulant, pouting brats. Ahem. (steps off soapbox)
ReplyDeletePerfectly said!!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! As a woman and an anatomy teacher, I particularly liked the female reproductive system according to Todd Akin. How did I miss piece of awesome last year? Don't we feel bad for all of those conservatives that had to come from such a horrid place!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!! The "reproductive system" was too good not to steal--so I did!!
ReplyDeleteRemember that time Todd Akin said my magical vagina found a "way to shut that whole thing down" too? STOP ACTING LIKE VAGINAS, CONGRESS.
ReplyDeleteThat is the best comment ever. You win.
DeleteCongresswoman RachRiot sounds AMAZING.
DeleteCongresswoman RachRiot sounds AMAZING.
DeleteNailed it.
ReplyDeleteExcept, when they get voted out, they still get "retirement" benefits worth like 9 years pay for me EACH year FOREVER.
ReplyDeleteNotice you did not include that loon pelosi or that whiny ass clown reid.
ReplyDeletePretty sure they are included in the "532 layoffs". Don't get your panties into too tight of a wad... I'm fed up with all of them although Ted Cruz, his tea bagger buddies, and John Boehner are particularly punch worthy in my book. I'd add on some nut punches for good measure.
DeletePerfect. Now if we could only figure out a way to get them to listen to the adults.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! And you have quite possibly the best blog name ever!! I thought I was the only one that ever used that phrase!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!! Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteLori
Thrifty Decor Mom
Gah, I love this website!
ReplyDeleteIt constantly amazes me that this country has millions of voters but we can't get rid of 500 people.
Preach it! I'd add: pointing fingers of blame and not being willing to clean up their own messes. At least my 3-yr-old is cute.
ReplyDeleteThis is perfectly stated. Love it.
ReplyDeleteUh, don't forget that the current senate has rejected every plan, including full funding if the unaffordable lack of care act because they want special treatment. The ego in the white house negotiates w/ Iran, but not Americans.
ReplyDeleteUh, don't forget that the current senate has rejected every plan, including full funding if the unaffordable lack of care act because they want special treatment. The ego in the white house negotiates w/ Iran, but not Americans.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed this one! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOMG I love this! Perfect!
ReplyDeleteI love this article as much as I hate Congress, especially the Republicans in Congress, right now. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWhen I hear the word "congress" my rape detector goes to DefCon 5.
ReplyDeleteHa! My favorite is "they don't understand where babies come from." Spot on.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog about 2 weeks ago and I've been reading from beginning to end just to catch up on everything. Though I'm not a mother yet I can see myself being just like you. Through out your blogs I laughed with you, I cried with you, I was disgusted at "celebs" with you, etc. etc. You've got yourself a new member of the "Punch Club" right here. Oh and as for this post? Spot on!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS. I have shared with everyone I possibly can, especially since my town is supposedly the most affected in the country (yay us?) and 99% of who I know is involved in some way with the military. My friend can't get a social security card for her newborn son and therefore can't put him on her health insurance. It's amazing what is affected once things trickle down
ReplyDeleteThe drawing of the reproductive system according to Todd Akin is brilliant. My favorite? "Ew!"
ReplyDeletethis was so fucking incredible. the whole darn thing. I LOVE the green eggs and ham comparison.
ReplyDeleteThis would be funny if it weren't so true. Makes me want to cry.
ReplyDelete