The Hubs Goes Shoe Shopping

After 11 years of marriage you would think I would have learned by now that I must double check anything the Hubs buys online that he thinks is a super duper deal.

Don't get me wrong. A lot of the time, he's an amazing bargain hunter. He finds $90 sweaters for $12 and we can never eat out unless he has a buy one/get one free coupon or the restaurant has a dollar menu. HOWEVER. He has a hard time reading the small print. He focuses a lot on the "original" price vs. the "sale" price and the rest of the details go by the wayside.


Like when he bought speakers for our surround sound system. When they arrived, the Hubs was out of town. I opened the enormous boxes and was greeted by two four feet tall speakers.

"They're so big!" I complained to the Hubs on the phone.

"They're only supposed to be 48 inches," the Hubs said.

"Hubs, 48 inches is four feet!!!"

"Ohh. Riiight." Small print AND math are not his strong suits.

"Also. One is black and one is white."

"They are? Wait. Let me look at my receipt. Yeah, it says it down at the bottom really tiny that they were the only ones left and they were not the same color. Oops."

Cut to last week.

Both of my kids want high top sneakers. Apparently, the 80s are back and my kids are embracing the trends as much as their mother did. The Hubs found a super deal online for Puma high tops. He wanted to get them for their birthday. I really didn't care, because high tops don't hurt as much as a Lego when you step on them, so I was just glad we were moving into another stage. The Hubs showed the kids the shoes online (because he can't keep a surprise) and they were very excited.

For a week I've heard about these amazeball shoes. They're so cool. They're so rad. They were such an ah-may-zing deal. No one could score a deal like the one the Hubs did.

Yeah, yeah, Hubs, you're a tiny genius.

Then. Friday I checked our mail and we had the ittiest bittiest wittlest cutest box you've ever seen stuffed into our mailbox. The return address said Puma. "Hubs, did you guys buy extra shoe laces or something?" I asked, because that's all I could imagine would fit in that box.

"Oh crap," he said. "I think I made a mistake."

Yup. He sure did.

We opened the box and found Gomer's pair. They were sparkly and silver and purple and light blue and were size 4 - toddler. Gomer is eight.

No wonder they were such a good deal, Hubs! They're for a baby. Also, these are girl shoes.

"They didn't look so sparkly online!" both the Hubs and Gomer said. Uh huh. I think Gomer has been well-trained by his father.

Saturday came and once again we had a box from Puma in the mailbox. This one was a normal sized box. "Mine are right!" Adolpha exclaimed. It looked like she was right. Until I lifted up the box. It was so light I wasn't even sure toddler shoes were in there.

"New technology makes high tops very light now," the Hubs tried when I mentioned how light the box felt.

Uh huh. If you say so, Hubs.

Adolpha got a pair of totes adorb size 4 toddler high tops too. She is six.

We found one person in our house who can wear these shoes.

I don't care how good the deal was, no stuffed animal is going to wear nicer shoes than me!

Yeah, those are flowers swirled into the pattern too. Gomer would have looked precious in these.

Want to read about how I met the hubs? It's in my NEW BOOK!

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