A few months ago I wrote this list of annoying Facebook habits. Today I have some more to add:
1. Adults who post they going to accompany their spouse and/or partner to doctors' appointments.
Busy day! Took the day off today so I could take Brennan to lunch and then the dentist!
WTF? You are grown adults. Unless you are required to have anesthesia you do not need a designated driver for the dentist. Grow a pair, Brennan, and drive yourself.
2. Anyone who posts their Pinterest pins. When you pin something and it asks if you want to notify all your friends on Facebook, just say NO. None of us care about most of that crap. Plus, if I want to see what your dream kitchen looks like, I'll check out your Pinterest account.
And for the love of all things holy, stop with the Keep Calm and Carry On/Pet a Puppy/Watch Out for Zombies/whatever new fucking thing is we're saying now.
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| I hate these things. |
4. People who post scripture. Truly, this is the most ironic thing for me when you look at my friends' list. The majority of my "friends" who continually post scripture and religious pictures are the ones who were the biggest assholes to me back in the day and still never comment on anything I say on FB or, God forbid, interact with me in any way in the flesh. All of a sudden NOW they're all spiritual? Have they repented or something and now they think they can save me? The really ironic part is the ones who I know go to church every Sunday, pray regularly, talk to me in public, (even read this blog) - you know, walk the walk and talk the talk - are the ones who NEVER inundate my FB feed with scripture. Really makes me wonder.
5. People who post quotes that are supposed to be inspirational. Ugh. I left the corporate world long ago so I wouldn't have to look at another poster that said shit like "What Would You Attempt to do if You Knew You Could Not Fail?" (Buy lottery tickets.) That's what Pinterest is for. Put that shit on Pinterest so I never have to see it.
6. People who kiss ass. I don't know how to explain this one very easily. I have a friend on FB who posts the most annoying shit like, Taking in another gorgeous sunset on my patio with my even more gorgeous wife. She is my all. And then his friends will comment on his bullshit musings with stuff like:
- Well said, partner.
- You have an amazing woman there, lucky guy.
- Cherish this time together.
- You have such a gift with words, Horace.
7. People who photograph their dinners. I am scrolling through my Facebook as I write this and I've seen no fewer than 7 photographs of my friends' dinners. Only one looks good enough to eat. What is this all about? Is this a new form of overachieving??
8. People who "check in." Why do I care that you're at Costco or Starbucks or Disneyland? This is when I totally need a WTFC? button.
9. Stop making your baby bump and/or sonogram pics your profile picture.
I know, I know, we're all guilty of this stuff just about every day, but the bottom line is if I like you a lot then you can post just about anything on Facebook and I'll read it and comment and "like" it. If I think you're kind of a douche then no matter what you write on Facebook irritates me. It's probably time to clean house and get rid of some of my "friends," but then who would I have left to make fun of?
Just so you know I'm not perfect, here is a random sampling of my boring and/or annoying comments on FB lately:
- BLAH. B-L-A-H. This weather makes me feel blah. Blah.
- A friend posted a picture of a pen with my real estate logo on it and I totally whored myself out.
- Got my heart-shaped pizza!
- Pimped out links to about a bazillion times to HuffPost pages I wrote.
See? I need help just as much as the next guy.
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You nailed it with the scriptures people. All the people on my news feed are the same exact way! And I only check in when I get some sort of special discount for doing it.
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not the only one who hates the damn hashtags. I don't have a Twitter account because I can't think of anyone I feel deserves to be followed that much during the day.
ReplyDeleteI did post the photo of the Tex Mex dinner I had a few weeks back, but that was mainly to make my husband jealous since I was in Texas with the kids and he was stuck back at work in New Jersey.
how about people that post all the chores they did that day? "breakfast cleaned up, 2 loads of laundry done,cooked lunch, changed sheets, vaccumed. PHEW! What a Day!!" Give me an effing break.
ReplyDeleteOk, but it says "Status Update" - status is defined by Websters as the state or condition of affairs. My current state of affairs is doing chores, so why shouldn't I post that?
DeleteThank you for the vocabulary lesson Kate. I feel smarter already.
DeleteKate, you shouldn't post your chores because we've all got the same ones. No one cares about your chores. No one cares about my chores, either, that's why I don't post about them. Do you really think chores are interesting to post about, or are you just that bored?
DeleteI think (and hope) Kate is simply being facetious. Otherwise known as "sarcastic." Otherwise Kate needs to get a life. ;) (no offense, Kate!)
DeleteI don't post my chores list but I don't get mad or even annoyed if people do. I just think that Facebook is something different to every one and there is nothing wrong with using it as you see fit.
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ReplyDeleteI just threw up in my mouth a "wittle bit". Barf.
DeleteOMG, I'm so glad I do not have one of these on my friends list!!!!
DeleteI refused to friend my sister's dog. I have no idea what the dog status updates are, but seriously... I agree animals and small children do not need Facebook pages!
DeleteLOL. Agreed. And I just don't get it. (OK, so NOW I'm gonna log out as me, log in as poochy pup, and write something from HIS point of view! Yaaaay!) I mean, seriously?
DeleteYou just pointed out ALL the things driving me nuts on FB lately. Though I'm guilty of "checking in". My gym gives members free stuff for every 20 check in's. I'm cheap and a sucker for free stuff, so I will check in every day :)
ReplyDeleteAt least you have a valid reason. Most people do it just to "show off!" I mean, if you live in a city, it might make sense. Maybe someone you know will happen to be in the same area as the place you checked into, and will stop in. But for the rest of us, there's no reason for it other than to say, "Oh, look where I am! Aren't I so cool?!" Thank God for this blog--it lets me know that there are still some people out there who aren't narcissistic attention-seeking a-holes!
Delete#4. Totally.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! It's about time someone else said this! (really don't get the food and checking in thing)
ReplyDeleteI hate seeing pictures of food! I've started taking "mock" pictures of the most disgusting dishes I can find.
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ReplyDeletehilarious! get out of my head! lol!the most annoying check in i see (and i see it alot)is when parents have their kids at urgent care or ER. OMG, your kid is sick and you actually take the time to check in . i want to poke my eyeballs out when i see this. hey, here's an idea...just be with your sick kid.
ReplyDeleteYes!!! Your kid is sick enough to be at the ER & you are checking FB. What is wrong with people?
DeleteWhat about the people that take pictures of their kids in the ER/Doctor. A "friend" posted pictures of her kid getting allergy testing - needle sticks all over his back. Why??
Deletei'm guilty of going on facebook while in the ER with my children. reason being is because we're waiting on the dr and my kid is laying down on the bed sleeping. so i will kill my time on my phone on facebook. think about those things before you say something because there are always circumstances. just because i'm on facebook or someone you know was on facebook and with their kid in the ER doesn't mean they aren't ''there'' for their kid. plus, some people are attention whores and want sympathy.
DeleteOh, now I am guilty of this...only because my (16 year old) daughter is so awesome that I had to share it with friends and family. While at the ER to be seen about possible strep throat, they put a mask on her and sent her into the waiting room, where she sat down next to a man looking nervously at her, turned to him, and very seriously said, "don't mind me, it's just a little leprosy." So pic of her in the mask and her smartass comment became a status update.
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DeleteI am not talking about playing on your phone while you wait at the doc or taking a silly pic (although i agree i hate the pics of sick miserable kids or allergy tests...i have seen this too). I am just saying if someone is sick enough to be at urgent care or the ER you don't need to "check in" on foursquare. lol!
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DeleteA few of my personal faves:
ReplyDelete-the idiot that "likes" their OWN status or picture...we know you like it, fool, you posted it. DUH!
-those annoying re-posts that start out "let see how many of you read my status" or "how many people have enough balls to repost"
-the girl who keeps taking the SAME EFFING PICTURE of herself driving to work EVERY EFFING DAY and posts it....with a comment that says "OMG i look such a mess!" then WHY THE F%#K did you post it???
im done!
All of these!! Seriously, why like your own status? It's like giving yourself a high five. I have a few "friends" that like everything they post. There seriously needs to be a dislike button or as Jen says a WTFC button. That'd be epic.
DeleteI am too uncool and had no idea what "#insertsomethingwitty" things were. Thanks for enlightening me today.
ReplyDeleteYes I must agree I did not know what all that Sh** was myself so thank you I learned something today YEAH.
DeleteThe scripture people get the 'Hide All by' or 'unsubscribe to' button on the first offense. You know there's more where that came from. This Pinterest thing promises to be the most annoying thing we'll encounter this year besides of course the douche canoe Republican presidential candidates. I'll be staying a country mile away from both.
ReplyDeleteLOL You crack me up! BTW, I just posted a picture of last night's dinner. In the toilet. Top that one, dinner-picture-takers! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm all about the scripture one, too. It's annoying when I'm inundated with daily scriptures. Are you a pastor? No. Is this the Sunday School blog? No. I have a friend that posts scripture AND how super awesome homeschooling is. Gag. Whatever. I have twin boys that are 6-years-old. I'm happy to see them gone during the day getting a good education with the DoDE. Bye, kids! Have a good day. Now... back to Facebook.
~DevilDocsWife
Apparently we must have the same friends because you just described my news feed. Now excuse me while I post "I love you, honey bunny." on my husband's wall so everybody knows we are the best couple EVER!
ReplyDeleteBeware of the husband who gushes over his amazing wife...I had a friend like that and now they're in the middle of a divorce!
ReplyDeleteI agree...the men I know who brag like that about their wives are usually the BIGGEST cheaters...or closet gays...
DeleteHaha yep the one guy on my wall that gushes bout wife is the same wife at my house talking about divorce cause hes a dick head
DeleteYou should definitely not have shown what kind of updates you post. This was pretty well written but seriously? All... and I mean ALL your credibility vanished the second I read them.
ReplyDeleteShe was admitting to and owning her faults and imperfections, to show that she didn't think she was perfect and everyone else had problems. If she hadn't owned up to her own status updates, someone would have pointed THAT out (e.g. "You think you're so perfect"). Sorry you can't seem to win, Jen :(
DeleteI never can. Thanks for trying, Anon.
DeleteScunder is, in Jen's words, a douche-canoe :-)
DeleteI agree with every single one of these, especially Pinterest!
ReplyDeleteDoes everyone realize Pinterest should NOT get credit for anything on their site? All credit should be given to the blog writers who are posting these crafty projects or delicious recipes. It might shock some people, but you can find all of this using any search engine. No need to register or get an invite. You're probably already being tracked on the Internet anyway, why give the hackers more material by registering to use Pinterest? It's a waste of time.
I totally agree with posting anything Pinterest to Facebook...who really cares what you pinned? But, as far as Pinterest goes, the credit does go to the blogger...it links directly to their site. I have actually discovered quite a few blogs that way.
DeletePinterest is for cataloging your interests. Haven't you ever been on a website that had something you really liked only to forget what that website was when you wanted to go back to it?
Personally, my pins are for me, not for anyone else. I love this site.
your blog is genius! I've been following you for the past 2-3 months, but really....where have you been all my life? The list of annoying FB-er's are THE BEST! I chose to give up FB for Lent. By doing this, I'll be clearing my head of all negativity.
ReplyDeleteFor everyone saying they check in to get free stuff: if you are checking in with Foursquare (or any other app that isn't FB), you can not choose to share with FB, just like when you pin something on Pinterest.
ReplyDeleteIt's part of the marketing; they want your FB or Foursquare checkin to post on FB to advertise their business.
DeleteOH SHIT. I'm a twitter-er/facebooker (they're connected) AND I'm a hashtagging WHORE. However, I can admit that I have a problem. =) I do not generally post dinner pictures, although I have been known to post pictures of candy or doughnuts!!!! Um AND I check in. Wow, I surely did hit many of the items on your list. Please excuse me while I got stab myself in the temple with a letter opener now.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day!!!!!!!
You admitted the problem and took action. Done and done!
Deletehate to add to the list... but bloggers who post the link to the same blog at different times of the day...
ReplyDeleteI happen to appreciate that one because I am usually a "late-nighter"!
DeleteLOL! Gotcha Jen.
DeleteThanks, LuLu! Still better than me posting a picture of my latest ingrown toe nail (just saw that on my feed).
DeleteEwww, seriously someone posted their ingrown toenail? That's just gross! I mean, I was grossed out enough when my husband had one, and it hurt him so bad that I had to put the neosporin and band-aids on it for him.
DeleteOMG this is hilarious. You forgot the whiney, please-notice-me updates like "Im in the depths of dispair today" or "my heart is broken" with no other explination. I also get a kick out of the "Leaving FB for awhile" people - again, screaming for attention.
ReplyDeleteI've done the "leaving fb for a while" thing...not for attention but to let those people who only send me messages through fb know. I left once without saying anything and people's reactions were over the top.
DeleteOMG Becky - my friends list is saturated with those people. What I would really like to say is "yes you suck, you should throw yourself in front of a bus."
DeleteLMAO My dad is one of those people who say they are leaving but magically show up a week later. Make up your minds people!! Annoys the crap out of me when I see a friend request from my dad 3 times a month. (this is when you would insert a hash tag and say "sorrydad.") LOL
DeleteYES! THANK YOU!! Another reason fb needs a "WTFC" button..
DeleteNumber 7 is the one that gets me. when someone posts: "I have the best spouse in the whole world and I love you so much baby. I would be lost without you". Umm, wait a minute aren't you the one who has cheated on said spouse like a dozen of times? Or weren't you just talking about getting a divorce last week? Shoot me now please
ReplyDeleteWhat about the people who report the news like they're CNN or something? Drives me nuts.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, I'm one of the few who has done several of these things....but that was when I first got on Facebook. Now, who cares. I post things now when people haven't seen or heard from me in a few days, just to let them know I'm still alive.
ReplyDeleteI think I need to go irritate Jen now by posting back to back things starting with a picture of the leftover pizza for lunch and then we'll move on to what I've done today and close it out with a gag me with a spoon letter to my hubby about the things that went on in the bedroom the other night!
Thanks for sharing!
I also can't stand the ones who post "oh I we just did this that and the other thing together, I am so lucky with my wonderful family" PUNCH!!! Or, I just cleaned my house from top to bottom, stacked 40 cords of wood, and now I am making a birdhouse" PUNCH again!! "My boyfriend and I just had another magical date in the city, we went to the pub" PUNCH a third time! Drives me crazy with everyone posting how 'perfect' their lives are, when in reality, I know their secrets and their lives are far far far from perfect. Drives me nuts.
ReplyDeleteMost of the people I know who post those things always add, "Life is good." Ugh.
DeleteYikes...I'm guilty of most of that to one degree or another...except the Hashtags, sonogram pic and ass kissing...but I've been known to check-in, post scripture AND upload a picture of my dinner all at the same time...guess I'm a bit of an over achiever...:)
ReplyDeleteOr how about the people who post "all I want to do is cry" or "my life is such a mess" and when people ask what's wrong they say they don't want to talk about. So why the F--k did you post something?
ReplyDeleteThat one gets me too! They're in the pit of despair about to get tortured and after two dozen "are you okay" and "here for you... What's up" comments they say "message me"!! Really, you just involved all of Facebook in your problems and now you're getting private?? That and when people post a vague "people better watch what they say...you dont want to be on my bad side" ...clearly they're talking about someone specific- man up and name names already!
DeleteAgreed.
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me are the people who constantly only talk about their kids. Do they not have a life outside of their special snowflake? Especially when it is only to brag about what new thing their little tyke is doing every second of the day.
"Emmuleigh is so smart. She told me what a cow says. Can you beileve it? She's only four months old. My little genius. *Insert heart icon here*"
I don't give a rip!
I get the feeling that if those of us who end up posting about our kids posted about other stuff we like, you'd be equally disdainful. In a single mom, I *don't* have much of a life outside my daughter aside from what I watch on TV and video games. So in the end, a lot of posts end up being about my daughter because (shocker) that's who I spend most of my time with.
DeleteI think this is the first time I've really been disappointed in this blog. I was expecting something better, but most of the people on my friend's list do those things often. I enjoy seeing what people are up to on Pintrest, and what people are doing in their day, even if it's mundane stuff. Not being able to get out a ton, it makes me still feel connected to the real world.
Everyone's entitled to their opinions, of course, but I just found this a bit depressing. I fully believe that if it's something you engage in the behavior, then you probably shouldn't be throwing stones about it. What *is* a worthy Facebook post, then? I'm lost after reading this. If I were to take this to heart (I won't), I think I'd be utterly confused as to what to post. Posting about my kids, family, food, or pretty much anything or anywhere I go = off limits.
And the first one really bugs me. Sorry. Punch in the face. Some of us have horrible dental/medical anxiety. I couldn't drive myself to the dentist if I wanted to. And don't assume you know why someone's accompanying someone else. Maybe there's a serious problem they aren't letting on (like when I accompanied my mom to a doctor appointment where they did a catscan to check for tumors).
I post pictures of my son with a full tube of toothpaste in his hair, a polly pocket leg I found in the toilet (just the leg) and a magic marker incident. I prefer to think he thinks outside the box.
DeleteI guess this is my last blog/twitter/FB comment. Don't want to be on "People who bug the shit outta Jen" list
ReplyDeleteLillian, you could never bug the shit out of me. Remember, what I said, If I like you, nothing bothers me, it's only when I don't like you that it bothers me.
DeleteJen, isn't that a cop-out? How is anyone supposed to know you don't like them until they come to the blog and find that you've written passively-aggressively about something they posted?
DeleteOh come on. Nothing annoys you about people that you like. It's a given and a fact of life. Get over it.
Delete@ Briana - I agree
DeletePeople who have status updates that are political posts on facebook. I have a one strike you're out policy (as in I will delete you as a friend if you status update w/political crap once).
ReplyDeleteIf you want to post political crap on a friend's page, then fine, but the whole world doesn't give a crap. I don't care that you think Obama is a baby killer or that Sarah Palin is an idiot. Really! I don't care and I'm not on facebook to hear some crazy crap about some stupid politician.
Kort
The people who always post song lyrics! Don't you have your own words to say!!!! Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteYes! And the ones who post multiple music videos from YouTube every day. They need a punch!
Delete#8 drives me IN-SANE. Didn't they teach us in kindergarten that if you don't have enough to share with the class, keep it to yourself? I don't need to know what all my friends are eating every night, thank you very much.
ReplyDelete#9 too. I was on "foursquare" via my mobile and I was getting CONSTANT updates on my friends whereabouts. I didn't need all that info. I kind of felt like a stalker so I quit it. So annoying.
This is why there needs to be a "dislike" button...and I would use it with reckless abandon. You forgot the "repost this if you or someone you know is suffering......"
ReplyDeleteI have an ass kissing friend that I mentally punch every time she does it. "Feeling so grateful to (insert asshole name) today for putting up with me. He even went to the store JUST to get me a fountain pop. What would I do without him?!"
ReplyDeleteReally? The same guy who just last night didn't come home and this morning you found porn including his ex on YOUR computer? You're right. He IS a peach. STFU.
lmao @ LuLu. I think we have the same friend!
DeleteBwahahaha. Guilty of a few of these. Happy to give you blog fodder. I can't pretend my life is more interesting than mundane things like the awesome dinner I made or all the errands I managed to get done. Seriously, though, what IS a good FB status? (besides sharing a link to your blog, of course)
ReplyDeleteWe're all guilty of these things, that's what makes it funny.
DeleteI like what the comedian lewis black said about twitter. It goes something like, "If you're on twitter...FUCK YOU! Where do you get off with having the colossal ego to think that anyone gives a shit what you're doing all the time?" And then people double up with it on facebook. Good blog.
ReplyDeleteLIKE!
DeleteGuilty as charged. I'm a whore for retail discounts, so I check-in where they will give me a discount. A quote means nothing to me and actually makes me think less of you. I like to post inaccurate quotes like "Pintrest can only waste your life" George Washington. Ha, ha
ReplyDeleteOh crap! I just pinned a bunch of stuff.
ReplyDeleteOh crap! My Twitter and FB accounts are linked. Am too lazy to post in more than one place. Can I get out of a punch if I don't use the #?
Oh crap! I've been known to check-in.
I have HAD IT with all the pics of everyone's ashy foreheads today and their pious declarations about what they are giving up for Lent. It ties in so well with your #4. These are the same hypocrites who always write how "blessed" they are and who tell people to "have a blessed day!" I think I just might give up those "friends" for Lent...
ReplyDelete#11 The people who constantly update you on their workout/diet. I have friends who post every fucking day about how many miles they ran on the treadmill, what kind of nasty ass healthy smoothie they drank and how much weight they lost so far. No, I do not care that you're doing Turbo Kick/Zumba/Spinning/Body Pump tonight. I get tired just reading it and it makes my fat ass feel even worse about vegging out on the couch lusting over Shemar Moore on Criminal Minds.
ReplyDeleteRight there with you, sister!
DeleteA-fucking-men !!
DeleteLIKE!!
DeleteI read somewhere the other day that these people who check-in at the gym NEVER check-in at McDonald's. And don't tell me they don't eat a Big Mac!!!
DeleteI've actually had friends beg me to change my profile pic (it's currently of my daughters) because they don't like reading the racy stuff I post and seeing the faces of 2 angels. The two don't go together and just weirds them out. LOL
ReplyDeleteWhile I am guilty of a couple of these, I am on board with a LOT of these with you... I do sometimes accompany my husband to his appointments, and that is because he has some real issues and can never remember to ask certain questions or relay the information back to me properly... LOL.. so I have to.
ReplyDeleteThe scripture thing is the worse!! And I also do quotes, but mostly they are fun and witty (and don't you say otherwise!) Like my most recent fav was "Having children doesn't make you a parent any more than having a piano makes you a pianist."
What I hate is people who constantly take hundreds of pictures of themselves either 1) in front of the bathroom mirror or 2) with their webcam, and post them ALL.... get a life, whore!
what irritates me is people that do the bathroom mirror thing are doing it wrong! turn your camera or phone around and look on your phone or camera to see if you're centered in it AND THEN take the picture.
DeleteI adore you! I love this ALMOST as much as the story of how you met your hubs. Mostly because it is damn near EXACTLY how I met mine. I agree that the scriptures are the most annoying especially since I've seen some of these asshats drunk and behaving nothing like a Christian. Love Love Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteOoh, how about the "You're going to the dentist/doctor/party/I don't give a fuck..." and then list the first 10 people to the left of the page. I've seriously deleted people for tagging me in that shit, GTFU people!
ReplyDeleteThis blog is awesome though, thanks for making my day!!!
Pinterest doesn't ask me...it just posts everything on my wall. But I can't see it in my feed and only know because my husband made fun of my pinning (but quickly shut up when I made homemade snickers!!) Hate the scriptures/motivational crap. I generally just write shit my kids say. And don't get me started on food picture! Everyone and their mom takes "artsy" pictures of their food and we don't care! Although I did take pics of my snickers because they were that awesome!
ReplyDeleteNumber one made me think of this:
ReplyDeleteHere's someone to punch in the throat: Grown adults who need their mothers to help them take their child to wellness check-ups. What?! Did you read that right? Yep, a 30 year old parent needs her mom to help her take her 16 month old to the doctor (every time!) because she can't handle/comprehend taking care of the kid and remembering what the doctor said without her mommy with her.
The best part is that neither one apparently listens to anything the doctor says because the 16 month old still sucks down bottles (not sippy cups) of formula (not milk or water-God forbid), has to be lying down to have anything to drink (otherwise he might choke, you know), and maybe gets a quarter of a piece of pizza (cut into miniscule pieces so he doesn't choke on those either) for his lunch AND dinner.
I want to punch them both in the throat so badly. Alas, I can't because it would start World War III with my sister- and mother-in-law, the culprits. So, I just read your blog and feel better about the crazies in my life by reading about the crazies in your life. :)
This somewhat goes along with your scripture petpeeve, but it drives me INSANE when people pray on Facebook! Jesus doesn't have a Facebook page and I am pretty sure that if he did he would delete your stupid ass for constantly whining to him to help you pass your chem test! Oh, and people who post all of their religious happenings and then bash others for their actions or life path... Last time I checked, your name wasn't Jesus. Practice what you preach and shut the hell up.
ReplyDeleteAmen to THIS.
DeleteFALSE. Jesus does have a Facebook page. Jesus. Facebook. Rutabaga.
Deletehttps://www.facebook.com/jesuschristthesonofGod
My biggest pet peeve. When someone states something like "it's really sad when other people have to start drama and put others down to make themselves feel better....yada yada yada..." If you're going to call someone out, dial their phone number and have an adult conversation. If you're that afraid and have to hide behind facebook, at least call them out by name. GEEZ! We're not 14 years old anymore people.
ReplyDeleteSo...with your list and the additions of everyone else in the comments, we've pretty much got nothing left that's "okay" to post!
ReplyDeleteWhat, exactly, does an acceptable Facebook status update look like? :P
More good reasons why I'm not a Facebook drone. What irks me are the dinner photos on blogs. Food photography can be a beautiful thing, but people need to ease up on the Instagram and Hipstamatic fiddling because it makes their food look unappetizing.
ReplyDeleteThe people who want you to feel sorry for them!! "I didn't send X-mas cards this year. Just didn't seem the same" YEAH b/c you cheated on your husband, he caught you, and left you. Poor pathetic you! Now quit telling everyone he is gay, he had erectile dysfunction, and he has several girlfriends. At least pick excuses that don't contradict one another ASSclown! True story!
ReplyDelete@shameyamy We call that "Vaguebooking"! :-))
ReplyDeleteYou know what annoys me most on Facebook? Adults with grammar worse than a 5th grader. It makes me wonder how in the hell they got through school and obtained the degrees some of them have. One lady is a teacher, but the way she types, makes me wonder what she's teaching those poor kids. smh. I see ALL the time, "Have a bless day." A what? A blessed day maybe? They have the hardest time with past tense words. "I was suppose to go the grocery store today." SUPPOSED, damnit! Maybe I'm weird for that bothering me, but damn, it's so simple.
ReplyDeleteOMFG! Agreed. But I'm an editor, so I can see it from a mile away....annoying nonetheless. And I HATE when people mess up "SUPPOSED".
DeleteI loved this post so much. For some reason, pictures of what people are about to eat make me gag. My biggest Facebook pet-peeve is when people do what I call 'vague-booking".. when their status update is "SIGH.." or "Hope things go well for me today..." or when they are posting a dig at someone they have a beef with, and no one knows what they're talking about.. "Jeez! Some people are just so selfish".. These people are just begging for attention, and they need to be punched hard.
ReplyDeleteI agree totally!! I hate the fb teasers....they post just to get people to ask what they mean...so childish if you ask me!
DeleteYou just described my sister in law. Give me a break & shut the hell up. Better yet get a job & get off FB!
DeleteThe young mother who is constantly taking pictures of herself in barely-there outfits. When her friends comment that she is "so photogenic" or looks like celebrity so-and-so, she replies "I can't help it" or "I'm way prettier than her!" Well, you WERE gorgeous. Then you opened your mouth.
ReplyDeleteYES. Oh my gosh the hashtags drive me CRAZY. I'm one of those oddballs who thinks that Twitter is completely pointless and stupid and I do not understand the hashtags. LEAVE THEM ON TWITTER.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest pet peeve with Facebook lately actually has a little to do with your political post a few days ago. I have friends who post political statements or opinions that invite debate as their status, and as soon as people start commenting back and forth about differing opinions, the status poster FLIPS out and goes on about how "I DID NOT WANT THIS TO BE A DEBATE AND I WILL DELETE YOU IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOURSELF." I understand debating civilly versus just plain yelling and insulting one another, but if you don't want a debate, DON'T POST THE STATUS. Good Lord, use some foresight!
Love this post. The scripture thing really bugs me too and I will never re-post them and generally roll my eyes whenever I see one. Which really makes my feel like shit because I was raised Catholic and you know how that religion is about guilt. I'm always afraid when I do roll my eyes at these posts that I just signed my one way ticket to hell. Well, at least it'll be warm. One of my pet peeves-I have a friend who posts her every move, allll fucking day.
ReplyDelete"Just got up, getting a coffee."
"Breakfast with my little muffin."
"Heading out to do errands." (Glad you posted that, now the robbers will know when would be a good time to knock off your house.)
"I have such a headache" (Well, stop staring at a fuckin computer screen... it works wonders.)
I could go on, but you get the idea. Hate the # twitter thing and pinterest? I consider that my own personal bookmark thingamajig so I don't have to load up my bookmarks thing on my browswer with sites that have ideas I might try. Why the hell would I want that on facebook? Keep up the great work! Every time you post something, it's like you read my mind!
Oh FYVM for that blog !! The only holy thing I want to say is SHIT!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. the pic was LINtastic!!
How about those posts that are letters to their spouses, children and inanimate objects? "Dear Coffee Maker, I love you. You make my day. Thank you for always being there for me in the morning when I need you. Love, ______." So annoying.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about facebook, that's one of the reasons why I have taken a bit of a break from the whole FB shit.
ReplyDeleteWhat else I hate is when people only update their status' with shit about their kids. "My Johnny made two goals tonight" or "my little susie is so talented" shit like that, I wouldn't have a problem with it if it weren't the only thing they ever say.
Also I hate it when people post nightly what kind of wine they are drinking....fuck who gives a care that you are drinking, all it does is make you sound like a drunk, and likely you are since your teenage daughter is fucking pregnant at 17, but hey you are loving your fucking wine tonight!!!
Ummmm...guilty of posting photos of dinner.
ReplyDeleteBUT I do it because so many people know how much I dislike cooking and how bad I am at it. They all think that I avoid the kitchen like the plague....I simply provide photographic evidence that I can and DO cook...occasionally.
You are awesome. I am not good with words, all I can say is I look forward to reading you every day. My therapist loves that I use the term "people I want to punch in the throat" as my new way of expressing those who piss me off. Thanks for putting my feelings into words!
ReplyDeleteHere's what confuses me- Facebook asks for a status update. If my current status is doing chores, or hanging out with my daughter, or one of the hundred other things that "annoy" all of you- why shouldn't I post that? If you're so sensitive that you can't handle reading someone's status updates without flying into a rage get the fuck off FB.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK, I'm not in a rage. Just making funny observations. Chill.
DeleteIt was not so much a personal "you", Jen. It was more of a collective you. I am far more annoyed by the friend who's status updates constantly criticize what everyone else posts. Facebook is what ever you want it to be, which is obviously different for everyone.
DeleteI'm with Jen- chill, it's not that serious. I do some of the annoying stuff and I'm not getting bent out of shape because someone finds it annoying. I'd be kidding myself if I didn't think some people hide my posts- especially the raunchy ones ;-)
DeleteI actually do none of the things in the post but I have friends who do. I haven't hidden or blocked any of them and I don't understand why everyone is so bent out of shape about what people post on Facebook. Like you said it's not that serious!
DeleteWouldn't be much of an article about annoying Facebook habits if she didn't talk about annoying Facebook habits.
DeleteYou think people should ignore FB posts they don't like? Well, she wrote this blog post to be funny, and if you don't get the humor, follow your own advice and don't read the blog.
Here's a hint on status updates: they aren't mandatory. There is no law requiring it. Thus, when you post them, we will actually judge whether some purpose was served other than self-flaggellation.
DeleteIf you can't handle that, get the fuck off my planet. :)
Great Blog, Jen!
Ok - normally I agree with you, but what is it that you think Facebook is supposed to be for? We all know people make stuff up to make their marriage look better/make it look like they are the best wife mother/make their life look totally interesting/to make other people jealous on Facebook. I don't know why you would still continue to be on it if this stuff bugs you, because that's all it is, really. Especially when you don't post pictures of food, but tell people when your food arrives. :-) Sorry, still love your blog!
ReplyDeleteHaha, I'm guilty of posting food pics but that's only because I'm so proud that I actually cooked. Usually it's cereal, sandwiches or something ridiculously simple the rest of the week.
ReplyDeleteHow about the coupon freaks? Not only do they brag endlessly about how much money they "saved" (bull, because they BUY most of those coupons)by buying 30 deodorants, 20 packages of toilet paper, and 12 boxes of oatmeal, they're collecting more random crap than they'll ever use.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot people who overshare on FB! I don't need to know the ins and outs of your divorce proceedings or how many days in a row you have had the runs. Just sayin....
ReplyDeleteInspirational postings really piss me off! Most of them are not even original. Yeah, Im really inspired by "If you see someone without a smile, give them yours" REALLY? Can no one just have a friggin bad day in peace without a bunch of creeps smiling at them...
ReplyDeletePunch to the people that post about the same event a million times. "Taking the boy to the circus tomorrow!". "Leaving for the circus in five minutes! So excited!" "At the circus!" Self portrait of us at the circus!!!! "Had so much fun at the circus!!!!" So what is that you did yesterday? I wasn't clear on it.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, but I love the comments of the people are offended just as much. LMAO!
ReplyDeleteLove it! I almost suggested this idea! Another one of my personal favorites are posts that are vague and leading....such as.....
ReplyDelete"I can't believe it!" or "why did this have to happen?"
Just enough to get people to ask questions. And when they do, the person either doesn't reply (waiting for more enquiring minds) or replies with "I can't say" or "I'll private message you" WTF? If you don't want people to know your shit, don't write ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! Drives me NUTS!
OMG me too!!!
DeleteI totally agree with you. It's super annoying and juvenile!
DeleteI'm on the commuter rail for an hour to & from work everyday with my ipod, so I usually end up posting the verse to the song that's on when I get to my desk in the morning! I know it's so uncool!! But I really hate people who type their status updates in text speak or with so many abbreviations you can't understand it!! Um...I'd like to buy a vowel!!
ReplyDeleteI am sure it doesn't annoy anyone as they have all hidden your status updates. Song lyrics -- especially daily ones -- are right up there with the quote of the day and bible verses. Hidden! Speaking for your friends...please stop!
DeleteI think every type of dumb status is okay in moderation, it's when somebody does it all the time that it becomes annoying. If you're posting 10 times a day about the boring chores you're doing, or posting a picture of food every night, or only saying dumb stuff about your kids ... that's when I want to hide you. If you only do these types of things occasionally, I will let it go. Except the ultrasound-as-profile-picture. That's NEVER acceptable.
ReplyDeletePosting a play by play of your stupid ass day. I woke up and drank coffee. Baby took a nap. I took a nap. Baby woke up....who cares? And you know what? I really don't want to know that you're cleansing. I'm not sure what cleansing is, but it makes me think you are self inducing diarrhea. I don't wanna know!
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!
DeleteI'm so sick of seeing the Petfinder/Pitbull rescue posts about how wonderful & gentle pitbulls are. Um, no thanks! Still not gonna bring one home to the kid.
ReplyDeleteYes!
DeleteOr posting a link to your blog over and over and over again. Had to delete my like for you on facebook for that. Gotta say it! ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd this is the reason why you didn't need to be her friend in the first place. You can't take a joke and you get offended by everything...so much so that you have to hide who you are because you can't even own what you say. At least Jen does. At least Jen does.
DeleteWow, dude. Chill out! I don't need my wall clogged up with countless blog reposts. That's why I disliked on facebook. I still like pretty much Jen has to say. And my name is Bethany, and I live in Florida. I don't have a blogger account, so I posted anonymously. Kiss my ASSSSS BEOTCH!
DeleteThere is one gal on FB who constantly says she will cuddle with her hubby, snuggle with her honey, cuddle on up, get snugly with, can't wait to snuggle with, drives me batshit insane.
ReplyDeleteAnd all you people, FB is a status update, not a freaking diary.
Angry much? I love most of your articles / blogs because the UBER MOMS must be stopped but COME ON. If you don't like crap you see, hide the story, defriend them or get the fuck over it. They have a right to post whatever they want to. You post what you want to and I'm sure it annoys the hell out of lots of people who simply delete your blog. People do what makes them happy (in most cases) and don't intend to hurt anyone. It may be lame but GTFOI. As said on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (yeah I like it so "cut me" if ya want to) you are "Angry Spice" Take a pill (or whatever you intellectual nonconformists but really just conformists trying to be cool - take for anxiety, get laid or do some yoga for crying out loud.
ReplyDelete"You post what you want to and I'm sure it annoys the hell out of lots of people who simply delete your blog."
DeleteSo do it. What's the point of your comment? Why'd you bother reading it?
Why is hating on "uber moms" more acceptable than hating on people who are annoying on Facebook? It's not. They're equal. Get over it.
I have to stick up for the people who drive other people to the dentist. I am a dental assistant and some people have to be pre-medicated for their appointment. They could just be plum scared of us, on BP meds and have to be medicated so they won't tap out while getting work done, or their medicines might have the opposite affect and the pre-meds help. BUT, there are some people who are just dumb and go for the ride.....
ReplyDeleteAs for taking pictures of their food, that totally annoys the crap out of me! I could care less of what you are eating!! I am guilty of the pregnant pictures. Mainly did it so my parents who lived in another state could see the growing stomach. Another annoying thing is how people update their statuses (?) 8 million times a day.
LOL sorry I'm so guilty of the check in one...I'm such a home buddy that when I go out I love to check in!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't you think people who are "checking in" are just announcing to criminals when they won't be home? Good idea, dummies!
ReplyDelete#4 and #7 are pretty much the most annoying ones ever. EVER.
ReplyDeleteAnd Briana, She's pretty much the most annoying fucker. Ever.
Delete-Hugs from Florida! :)
I vented about some of those things on FB in a slightly different form- here's my list of the Top Ten Types of Facebook Status Posters: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=441122112884
ReplyDeleteMy husband has a "friend" that got so fed up with the FB BS that she posted..."just took the biggest Sh&*, I feel so awesome now!" About half of her "friends" totally missed the joke.
ReplyDeleteI also want a wtfc? button and a you liar button and "can't' you just tell your hubby he's the greatest in person/on text/via private message/phone call/telegram/skywriter" button
I hate some of these pictures people take. Seriously? You don't look good in the picture and it's not really that different from the last one- just different clothes (that are usually age inappropriate)- you took in a bar with your "bestie". You are not a teenager, grow up.
ReplyDeleteAwww shit. I'm guilty of half of this list. I thought we were destined to be Bffs, but I see now I'm a douchecanoe. Guess I'll return the 1/2 heart necklaces I picked up from Claires at the gross mall.
ReplyDeleteMy stepdaughterc onstantly posts, "I love you Oedipus" and "I love my baby boy" about her 10 month old son. I teeter between wanting to stick a fork in my eye and asking her if she thinks the damn kid can read them. I would so de-friend her but as she lives with me I have to use it to keep tabs on the losers she hangs out with.
ReplyDeleteWait...is his name really Oedipus? Because that just made her posting about him even that much more disturbing! hahahaha!
DeleteTODAY what annoys me the most: people posting what they are "giving up" for Lent. If you feel it necessary to confess your sacrifices, you've missed the entire point of Lent!
ReplyDeleteAccording to most of the replies. On here... no one should ever update their status message because it will most likey piss someone off
ReplyDeleteOk so if someone already did this. I am sorry. What drives me Crazy is the people that post that they bought such and such expensive gifts,or ate at such and such a restaurant. Then Complain the next week that are poor!
ReplyDeleteI had to block my brother and (new) sister -in-law from my feed because they post on each others' walls over the top lovey dovey shit. He's deployed so they can't do it in person, but there is this highly visible "Message" button for PRIVATE messages! The most annoying part is when she posts all these "amazing" things he has done for her when he can't even manage to drop his family an email every once and a while. It really grinds me...
ReplyDeleteAlong with the scripture posters come those who ask for prayers for everything. "Please pray that my children take a long nap so I can watch a whole episode of The View" or "Please pray for my football team to win big."
ReplyDeleteTwo things: people who only check in when they're at "cool" places (Starbucks, the gym, Pottery Barn, etc) if you're gonna check in, check in EVERYWHERE!!!! How about when you're at the gas station? The gyno? Your therapist???? C'mon, don't just check in at the places you want to brag about!!!!! AND people who carry on conversations on each others wall that could and should be done between the TWO of them through text, email, a phone call? All of your friends don't care that you're trying to get together for coffee. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteI hate, hate, hate the "Today is (insert mother, father, sister, kids, etc.) Day! If you have the most fabulous blah, blah that you would do anything in the world for then repost this to your status". Don't make me feel like I don't love my family as much as you do because there is no way in hell I'm reposting this!
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the posts to make the user appear uber hip, cool and popular: "Heading to the gym with m'besties then brunch with m'guy! Later heading to a movie and back to the gym for spin class and bikram yoga!" When you really know this person well and you KNOW its all for show its even more annoying. They really should be posting "Went back to bed after taking kids to school then cruised FB for 5 hours. Went to Wendies for a Frosty before dinner at Mc'Ds with the kids. Whew! Long day!"
ReplyDeleteHere is my list. I teach a Facebook CE class for Real Estate agents and while you hit on most of what I say not to do, here are a few that drive me batty.
ReplyDelete1.) Conspiracy theories: Don't get me wrong they are great for a laugh and a "are you freakin' kidding me" but seriously give it a break (it might be that I spend too much time on Facebook between midnight and 3am)
2.) The "I just washed 3 loads of clothes, now I have to mop the floor while I make spaghetti, then I have to go to the store for cheese curls for the kids lunch" Thank you for posting your to-do list it was so stimulating.
3.) Posting songs from the 80's that were bad in the 80's.
4.) Have to throw a real estate one in... "Showing houses to two different buyers today, just got three offers on my listings, and I am closing on two more this week" Hello, Mr. Agent, other agents can look up what you have sold on the MLS and they KNOW you are lying. Everybody hates a bragger.
I could go on and on...need someone to guest post? haha
Oh, Yeah...people who post "Heading to Vegas for 3 days! WOOT WOOT!!"
ReplyDeleteI always kind of hope that when they return they post, "House broken into. They took everything!!" PUNCH!
Can't stand the stay at home mom comments about how difficult life is, for example waiting around for washing machine repair man...piss off. Or,at the bus stop today my starbucks spilled...i wish my problems were this difficult after i just got both kids ready...to the babysitter,crying as i am leaving. Then the other to the bus stop babysitter, because I cant put my kid on the bus (let alone worry about my spilled coffee). Oh and I cant find a repair man to come for a month because they dont come after 5. Yeah, cry me a river.
ReplyDeleteHate double hate the baby bumb sono pics too. Dont know exactly why.
CANNOT stand those who constantly post "Ran/Biked/Swam 20 miles today in 1 minute. Best time ever!" (Ok, I'm exaggerating a bit but you get my drift). And that's all they ever post about. I have friends who post similar things solely for motivation, and I support and applaud them. As for those whose sole purpose is to let everyone know how many marathons they are in this year, well, they deserve a huge PUNCH.
ReplyDeleteMy half marathon shirt frankly stated "I am only doing this so I can post a picture on Facebook"
DeleteHa! Exactly!
DeleteI also hate it when people post scripture or how much they love Jesus, etc. I especially hate it when they post things like "If you've been saved, re-post this on your website."
ReplyDeleteThis blog is hysterical! I'd like to throw in my 2 cents worth.
ReplyDeletePunch: People that "like" inappropriately. You know, the status says, "Grandma passed away today. She was such a wonderful person and will be missed." Why on earth would anyone "like" that status? That's just rude.
Here's a few mini punches that have been mentioned in the comments already -
Mini punch: People that "like" their own status. Obviously you like it or else you wouldn't have wasted time posting it.
Mini punch: People that post the exact times of when they will go on vacation OR check into different places. That's just begging someone to break into your house. I think the burgular may even have a decent defense against you. "But your honor! I wasn't stealing. It was on facebook that they were going to be out of town and I was just watering the plants!"
Mini punch: People that post all day long. That gets you blocked from my list. Sure, facebook might be different things to different people but to me it's entertainment. I don't care about driving to the grocery store, the great nap you had, or all the crap your overachieving Elf on the Shelf did over the holidays. ; )
Totally agree with inappropriate "likes"! It takes Sooo much time to leave a comment, the fact that you pushed a button to acknowledge my life means more than you'll know!
DeleteI actually like the scripture stuff but the friends I have that post them are die hard Christians so I know it's genuine.
ReplyDeleteI'm guilty of the food one but it's usually a recipe I have talked to a friend about and showing them that it got accomplished without looking like a science experiment.
I CAN'T stand people who post "hints" about stuff and then when you ask them what's up they answer with "I can't say just yet but you'll know real soon". Seriously? Then post your little hint then!
The only thing I ever "sign in" for is my husband's basketball games but I live in a small town so I don't worry much about someone seeing that means the house is empty.
I don't have a twitter. Don't see the point of it really so the whole hash tag thing is still confusing to me. I see it as people who love to hear themselves talk's way of doing so on the internet lol. To each their own. Like I've seen a few post on here...facebook is different things to different people.
I also enjoy posts about the "shock" of weather conditions..It's snowing! gee, thanks Tips..it is February.
ReplyDeleteThe whiners: "day four of the plague" or "maybe THiS doctor will cure this never ending pain". Occasional update? Okay. Daily?!? I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteThe "repost if..." Or "I'll know if you are a true friend if". Block me, 'cause I'm a breakin' that chain!
This just made me laugh SO hard!! I post status updates at least once a week complaining about the douchey behavior of other Facebook users. I had a little reality face-smack a few days ago, though, when someone asked me if it's the new "in" thing to bitch constantly about what not to do on Facebook, and THEN asked me if I happen to have a list handy of ACCEPTABLE Facebook behavior... I do not.
ReplyDeleteYou will never win. Logging in to Facebook is the same as going to any large, crowded place. Except, instead of only dealing with the kind of crowd you'd see at church, or only dealing with the crowd you'd hang with at a Mötley Crüe concert, you've blended them and put all of their stupid habits in one place. In writing. Keep Calm and Take A Picture Of Your Cat Eating Cheerios, Sayeth The Lord.
Ugh. Hope your posts are not as filthy as your mouth. You seem to write fairly well. No need to hide your commentary with all the garbage.
ReplyDeleteThis is nothin'. Perhaps you should find a different blog...
DeleteThroat Punches:
ReplyDelete-- Gym check-ins and only gym check-ins. You're exercising -- we get it. Here's a rice cake, now fuck off.
-- People who are updating their Facebook status like they are on Twitter:
"I love that new Target color commercial"
"Bazinga!"
"Mmm. McDonald's Chicken McBites are yummy!"
THAT is precisely what Twitter is for you self-absorbed twit!
-- Compliment-fishing + Ass-kissing friends double punch:
"My daughter made the honor roll....AGAIN!"
- "Oh, she takes after her smart mama!"
"I have the best kids EVER!"
- "You have good kids because they have the best mom EVER!"
- "You've done a wonderful job with them!"
-- A Kid's Gymboree Outfit-of-the-Day Pic (Seriously)
-- Shilling of any kind:
Scentsy, Pampered Chef, 31, Premier Jewelry, etc.
-- Passive-Aggressive posts to random people who have wronged them:
"Dear lady in front of me at Starbucks...."
Um, is that random lady friends with you on FB? No? Then, how is she going to see this? Oh, she isn't. I just have to! Lovely!
"You're exercising -- we get it. Here's a rice cake, now fuck off."
DeleteFunniest thing I've read in a long time. I'd actually enjoy facebook if it were acceptable for people to be this honest in reply.
I think we are all guilty of being total Lamebookers from time to time. What separates us from them though is that we are only guilty occasionally of the crimes that have been listed. The TRUE offenders are consistently guilty of one or more infractions with EVERY FRIGGING UPDATE that they post. And they are the ones who should be punched.
ReplyDeleteMy coworkers posting things as their status updates that they don't have the balls to say at work. Like they are not friends with everyone from work on FB and it's just a total shamethey can't act like adults.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big mouth and will call them out on it the next day every time. I don't understand why they Feel the need to continue doing it. It's like a deer in the headlight every time I say something to them the next day.
Oh, and #2b the signs, driving me nuts!!! Love your blog BTW!
Jen...I've been following you since December and this is the first post of yours I've been compelled to reply to...from one working mom to another, love your blog!
ReplyDelete#2...Just started Pinterest this week and don't see the purpose. I have 5 followers...WTF does that mean? What exactly are they following??
#4...those people don't actually believe what they "preach/live"...the only "inundating" I'll EVER do of your site is this link, which is both provocative and controversial in itself http://chiselseason.com/?p=768
#8...GUILTY! I actually thought I was "enticing" my friends with a picture of the meal I had just made but I realized that I suck at taking pictures of food and should stick with posting the recipes
#9...AGAIN, GUILTY! After reading your opinion of people who do this, I will NEVER do it again..because, WTFC!!!! I get it now, thanks for helping me see the light.
LOVE your blog...keep it up!!!
All good ones! I'm am glad I have not been guilty of those...but I'm sure there are many others that I deserve a punch for. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI'm guilty of most of these. I'm a total facebook whore, I fully admit it.
ReplyDeleteEven in all of my FB whoreishness I've never EVER NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER been compelled to write updates about the status of my child's potty training. Sally pooped on the potty! Johnny went pee pee in the big boy toilet! Jenny waited to pee pee until we got home and was dry the whole time we were out!
The WORST is when their kid takes a shit in the toilet and they TAKE A PICTURE OF IT and post it to Facebook. A lot of times I'm multi-tasking and choking down my lunch while trying to catch up on the FB world and seriously I know I post a lot of stupid shit, but do these people have to literally post their kid's shit???
Love the blog.....loving the comments more! Its a double dosage of wicked humour.
ReplyDeleteI have one FB friend who literally only posts about her snot nosed kids (they sound like little assholes) or how sick/in pain she is. I have now blocked her feed. I have also blocked my sister's feed because she is OBSESSED with her fricken dog. She even has it as her profile picture and declared he was her valentine. Don't really wanna be thinking about that.
ReplyDeleteSince blocking these feeds I have become a little more conscious about what I post on FB. I often customise the links I am putting up so that certain people can't see them. I find it easier than having them post passive aggressive status updates on their own walls about how they're sick of people posting about certain topics (which coincidentally I posted about 5 minutes before).
I love this!
ReplyDeleteHow about:
People who post about how much their kids love their organic vegan diet!
How much crap they buy!
Huge run on sentences with zero punctuation!
How wasted they are!
Political stuff all day, every day! I live in Madison, WI and this is HUGE here.
Oh I could go on and on!
I am guilty of a number of the ones you had and I do some that have annoying potential:
I use lots of exclamation points! See above.
I use lots of smiley/sad faces. If there was a fb emoticon app I would wear that sucker out! :)
Love your blog! :)
Elise
I have a new Facebook practice. The people on my friends list are there for a reason, so I do not want to 'unfriend' them. I also have a lot of people that I do not know who are on my list because of my blog. I unsubscribe from them. If they're posts bore me or clutter up my page then they get unsubscribed. We are still Facebook friends, but I don't have to see a hundred pictures of your cat.
ReplyDeleteOh and I forgot people who post 1000 pics of their fabulous vacation 1 pic at a time! I am happy for you that you went wherever, but about a pic a day is good enough!
ReplyDeleteElise
People who change their relationship status every other day! Coincidentally these are the people who can't live without/ miss you so much/ your the best ever to the other person!
ReplyDeleteNo one can make me literally LOL like you can Jen! I'm guilty of some of the stuff on both of your fb lists, but in the last few days two members of my family have called me a fb spammer b/c I post several times throughout the day. (Sometimes 10-15 times if I'm really bored.) In fact, they told me I totally spammed their fb wall, as though all my posts only went to their wall! These people both have less than 200 friends (and in fact one has less than 100) so I can see where they might not get a ton of posts in a given day if their friends aren't big into fb, but seriously? I get more posts than that in a ten minute period because I'm friends with people who are constantly on fb! If you don't want to be "spammed" by my posts, de-friend me PLEASE! This does not mean you though Jen, please don't kick me off your page! lol
ReplyDelete