I was thinking about the blog and the comments and the emails I've received and I realized something that's been nagging at me that I just couldn't put my finger on. I realized that I don't know you. You're a mystery to me. Yes, you, the one sitting at the computer reading this. I know a little bit about the few of your who post comments or send me an email, but there's many of you out there reading who have never said a peep.
You know me by now. You definitely know my likes and dislikes. You even know my family. You know my kids' goals for their futures. You know the Hubs uses Star Wars for just about every important decision that needs to be made in our house.
I want to know you. Tell me who you are and what makes you tick. You can make it short and sweet or you can give me the first chapter of your memoirs you've been working on for the last 6 years.
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486 comments:
1 – 200 of 486 Newer› Newest»Marginally married, 54 years old, living in NJ. 2 kids, age 23 (boy) and 16 (girl). Found you through a friend on FB and love your sense of humor!
49 - Englishman, married with two offspring (boy, 21 & girl, 16)...
Middle aged, middle income... boring.
What makes me tick - rugby (well not this weekend :-() music definitely... There's a whole life story and more on my blog :-)
Find your posts very funny.
31, Female, "common law" marriage - w the Mr for 11+ years, 2 dogs + 1 cat, no kids
Favorites: yellow, frogs, Scooby Doo
34, mixed race female, married with one child and two stepkids. One cat, one dog, plans to take over the world someday.
Jersey girl live "down the shore" forty something I read your blog with my morning coffee after dropping 3kids -2 bys 8 & 7 and 1 girl age 6 off at school It's part of my morning ritual along with wondering what to do about my hair,thinking I really ought to do some kind of exercise and when can I have my next glass of wine.thank you for daily chuckle
Im a 37 yr old work-at-home mom surrounded by star wars and little boy pee...three kids...a hubs and a partridge in a pear tree. If I could live on coffee and wine alone...i would. :-) Started writing a blog this year because my husband got sick of being the only one to hear my bullshit so he thought I should "share the wealth". I don't comment often but I always read...love your stuff!
36, married, 2 yo girl. i have stalked you since your post about the elf on the shelf...hilarious!
the more mean you are, the more you make me laugh.
thanks for making my work days more enjoyable.
-Keri, Aberdeen, MD
28yo mom, wife and trauma ICU nurse from Ohio. I have one son, 15 months and my husband LOVED all of your Christmas blogs, as his mother us psycho about Christmas. I usually read your blog on my cell phone while my son is wreaking havoc on my house :)
40 something happily married mom of a 3 year old living in the South (originally from Philly). I was introduced to your blog (which I adore!) by my SIL who is one of those can't seem to get anything done, I'm too busy for everything even though I do not work at all. I read you every morning along with the EvilHRLady blog since I work in HR which is mundane so I appreciate a good laugh to get my day started. Plus your humor reminds me of my sister's. Thanks for sharing!
Jenn- Married, white female, mama to 2 kids (1 boy 1 girl) and step-mama to 4 more girls, all grown. Which means I get to be (step) grandma to 4 under the age of 5- wheeeee! Just finishing my massage therapy license up here in Iowa, and am looking forward to changing careers (11 years in publishing isn't as glamorous as you would think). And I just found a bunch of hilarious pictures of you on our college dorm hall in about 1991. Oh yeah! xoxo HK
28 year old (for another month) female from Indiana. I am super super bored at work so I check every day for new posts. My other bored coworker introduced me to this blog and I really enjoy reading it.
43 years old, female, married, living in Ontario, Canada. One son, 8 years old, who is a stellar reader and Lego manipulator.
Favorites: ice cream, a good book, beaches, sarcasm and snark, family, and sleeping.
I'm 25, MWF (married white female), live in Alabama. My husband and I don't have kids and the more I read these blogs about mommyhood the more terrified I get about having them. I like sleeping through night, not having piles of toys around the house, and not having to cook dinner a lot. I enjoy boring weekends and vacations where I don't have to pack 4 suitcases worth of baby stuff. :)
Lara is a 35 year old MWF. Husband is the large, pasty Scotch version of your "hubs". 2 kids: Jules, 5 and Theo, 3. We live in North Central Pennsylvania. I work in marketing and LOVE your blog. Makes me laugh and feel OK about myself as a mom (to know there are women like me!). My goal for me, husband and the kids is to just be HAPPY. Also, SW rules our life... husband's b-day is May the Fourth...as in "May the Fourth be with you..." Yeah, we are THAT family!
Also, my favorite color is plum...
; )
Well, I'm a married mother of one from Ontario. I have a 9 yr old with Aspergers who LOVES Lego Star Wars and Pokemon. (I... am heartily sick of both, though)
Faves: good books, good blogs and a belief that a healthy dose of sarcasm can lighten the worst day.
Married Asian/Spanish female w/1 husband and 2 female toddlers in the Philippines :) love your blog though for some reason, I can't always comment!
OMG it published my comment! I stumbled upon your blog purely by accident but I'm so glad I did. I'm a few years away from the big 4-0 but after a career as a lawyer then as an editor in chief of a parenting magazine which closed down because the franchise was getting too expensive, I'm still "finding" myself but Ive gotta admit I'm super happy with my little family! Thinking about starting a blog......
Jenn - Jen here. I am 43, mother of 2 (girl 15, boy 17) and step mother of three girls (21, 23, 24). I want to be you when I grow up, and in the meantime I am working on my dissertation, which is due in less than a month. When I am done, I am having a HUGE bonfire, burning every piece of paper I have collected in grad school, and taking a really long nap. So I spend my days in front of a computer, playing scrabb... I mean writing for hours, house breaking a new puppy, and talking to the animals, three of whom are named after Harry Potter characters. They are not very helpful.
I'm a 34 year old married mom to twin 3 1/2 year old boys. I love your shit and felt like I won an oscar when you when one of my comments made your weekly wrap-up (escalade to sienna and what happens when I see new ones). You also inspired me to start my own blog, which is having modest success amongst my facebook friend list. I write about funny shit that my husband and kids do, but I also write some serious stuff about God and faith. I am an rabid reader, don't watch TV because I would rather sit outside (we live in AZ) and read and drink heavily, I mean, moderately, after the kids are in bed. I used to be your neighbor up north in the great state of Iowa for about 5 years before upgrading to the Valley of the Sun. Thanks for the opportunity to share. And keep it coming, you are an inspiration for sure!
I am 36, living in VA, and a stay-at-home business owner (I'm an etsy kinda girl). I have 3 kids (ages 7, 5, and 3) that are lovable demons. I also want to be you when I grow up, but I doubt I ever will. Grow up, that is.
I am a 35 yo white woman single no kids 130 lb pooch, from Queens NY who would actually love to punch someone in the throat. Living in the big apple with the worm in it of course every day I am forced to deal with people who either cannot communicate or do not wish to. Im glad you know now you know me:) Kathleen
Married, white female from Texas. Yes,everything is better in Texas ;) 2 boys, 4 and 8. 2 dogs. I love your blog, and I found it through a post on Facebook. You seem to say everything I have been thinking for years!
42 yr old wife, mother, pilates avoider. I used to have a real, paying job but now I stay home and clean up glitter glue. Started a blog a few months ago and experience serious blog envy whenever I read yours. Two kids, just like you, vastly different-I refer to them as "The Karaken and the Good One." My blog is something just for me. I say motherfucker on there a lot, so if that offends you, don't read it. Just kidding-please read it. Please. I beg of you.
I am a married mother to bbgb 7 year old quadruplets. Yes. Really. I do have my hands full. No, we didn't plan it. (Just wanted to answer all those questions that everyone asks everytime.) I am 31 years old and stay at home which means I volunteer at my church in 5 different areas each week, at school once a week, and caretaking my parents every day of the week. I have to schedule grocery store time, so I am more of a 'you'll-be-lucky-to-catch-me-at-home'mom. I love to laugh and hear a good scary story. Even if the scariness comes from just human observation! And if I could go anywhere, anytime, it would be Disney World. We have no pets because I don't need anything else in my house that poops. Thanks for asking!
Shelley In Southern Illinois
I first saw your blog on my FB wall with the same annoying elf that burns my ass every year! I am 30, married we have 2 kids Boy,3 yrs and Girl 2 months old. I think your are freaking fantastic and I share your posts every chance I get! You are in my top 3 blogs to read... Thanks for the comic relief!!!
MWCWw3KTDMC (married white canadian woman with 3 kids that drive me crazy)
You don't know this but we were separated at birth.
Please keep reading and blogging my thoughts, I don't find it creepy at all.
Married white female, living in New England. Mom to a 13yo girl and a 14yo boy, who I love to pieces; they make me laugh, cry and provide hair tearing out frustration every day. I LOVE your blog, which I found through Facebook post about the Elf. I'm an over achiever mom and I was sad this phenomenon was too late for my kids. I have a tendency to go overboard; I know it, I own it and I laugh at myself.
37 mother of 2 boys(ages 4 and 7) Nursing student. Love snowboarding, NFL football (Go Packers) and the beverages that go along w/ that;) Turnoffs would be whiny people that constantly look for handouts and throw pity parties. My husband is overseas, I'm a strong supporter of our military.
44(on Friday) married white female in Ut. The boy child is 18 and the girl child is 14. I work a grave yard shift for the Postal Service so you blog is one of the first things I read before bed to de-stress from a long night. My sister introduced your blog to me by sharing elf on a shelf on facebook but when you called Newt Gingritch a squinty eyed hobgoblin I knew I had to start stalking... I mean following you. Thanks for all the laughs.
Married white girl (ok - I'm 41 -but still think of myself as a "girl" - ha)
I have 4 kids - (ages 3-10) and I so relate to you blog entries about the joys and sorrows of parenting and competitive moms - I don't understand why girls compete so much - we need to stick together!!)
I've always lived in the Southeastern corner of the US, but if I had my way, I'd live in the Rockies and would ski every day that snow covered the mountains.
Love your blog (even though my husband still refers to it as "People I want to kick in the teeth")
Keep writing!
42 year old married mother of 3 (12,8,4) - live in Southern NJ. I discovered your Elf on the Shelf piece and have been hooked ever since. I'm a stay-at-home mom so I usually read your posts while having my coffee in the morning. Then I proceed to call my sister, friends, etc. and ask if they've seen today's post and do they find it as amusing as me (and they usually do!). Thanks for the laughs and saying what many of us are thinking! Would love to hang out with you - you sound so fun!
43 MWF with 4 boys (god help me) ranging from 9 years to 17. I am one of those crazy moms that home schools (just because I want to). I also work for a small non-profit from my home and teach boy's gymnastics at a local gym. That leaves me no time to get into trouble - which is probably a good thing. We have 4 cats and live outside of DC. I also started reading your blog when you posted the Elf on a Shelf blog. That got me hooked and now I have read them all. :)
50 year old (in age denial) MWF from Virginia Beach. Have one amazing daughter who will fly the nest in 1.5 years. (I'm in denial about that too.) I spend a lot of time trying to figure out why people are such idiots and why they don't do things the right way (i.e. MY way). You should feel sorry for my husband. My BFF is long distance, and she's a real trash talker. So reading your blog makes me feel closer to her. :-)
I am a married 35 yr old with 1 child (5 yr old girl) and 1 dog (Labradoodle). I read your blog everyday and I swear we were separated at birth! I laugh and sometimes even have to read some of the blogs to my husband because you crack me up. I live in MD and my favorite color is purple and I LOVE the Baltimore Ravens!
Not sure which of the following defines me (most likely none of them and all of them at the same time):
*married to someone from another country
*mom to a kid on the spectrum, a kid with life-threatening allergies and asthma, and a kid we are still trying to figure out
*stepmom to a (grown) kid from another country who decided to join us when moved (back) to the US
*professor and recent dissertation completer (though still not sure how I managed to do this while also giving birth to and rearing three wee ones)
*blogger at momintwocultures.com
25 year old navy wife with 2 boys (2 and 3) and a 2 week old baby girl. I am from North Dakota, but hubby is stationed in Norfolk, Va, so Va is now our home! I found your blog through a friend and come here when I need a laugh!
I'm a 45 year old suburban (really hate that part) married mom to three beautiful kids 15 boy, 12 boy and 9 year girl who volunteers way too much and is on the OCD side. Found your blog from one of my friends on FB. Seriously love your posts and have been guilty on a few occasions of committing some serious offenses such as making my kids' Valentine's from Pinterest and designing Leprechaun traps. I love your humor and want to punch a few people in the throat myself at times! Can't wait for your next post.
27, female, married to a man aged 28, baby boy aged 1.3 years. majorly into politics but being treated as women are in the workplace so i'm an administrative assistant. LOVE twilight and rob pattinson (no coincidence). hired writer for a local paper, check out my blog at www.iamthinkingk.blogspot.com. love what you do! seriously, can't wait to hear from your blog everyday.
44 year-old female, 8 happy years into my second marriage, 3 daughters (17,13 and 5). Part-time writer, other-time stay at home mom, former teacher (for over 10 years). Published children's author. Trying to follow Jesus. Love your sense of humor.
34 MWF, SAHM to 4 kids: son 8, daughter 6, son 3, precious 6 month old Ethi*pian daughter that just came home. As if I don't have enough crazy in my life, I love the humor that you bring to it - very refreshing!
Hello! I'm a 32 year-old MWF, army wife and mom to an outrageously energetic 7 year-old girl, one dog and one cat. Found your Elf on the Shelf post and have been in love with you ever since. I read your blog in the morning to avoid working out, cleaning and grocery shopping. Thank you for the daily laughs!
I can still claim I'm in my 30s and that makes me happy as does my twins, dogs, and hubby. New blogger, ridiculously broke, photographer wannabe, living on the Eastern Shore and not giving up the beach life to go back to work and get out of debt. Therefore I constantly want to punch myself in the throat.
35 Married GWM, with 2 dogs and a (almost) 12 year old kiddo (a boy named Pnut) from my first marriage. From the great state of AL. Could I be more diverse? What makes me tick??? Reading your blog. It cracks me up!We too live in a foreclosure and get some of the craziest mail, even ebay packages of recent purchases. I always return to sender, but there are times I would like open them to see what kinda crap they buy.
Married white Mother of 2.Gracie is mine and my husbands and Aidan is my stepson. Worked in management my whole life til I was fired after having my daughter at age 37. stay at home mom with truck driver husband. Italian family I have, and my husband is Irish. love Antiques, Collectables, Jokes, the Titanic, making people happy and GOD. Catholic and swear alot.
and God.
34 married lady lawyer. 2 daughters, 3 dogs, 10 cats. In the deep south.
MWF and MILF (ha! I kid) , two spawns (4 yo and 1 yo). I'm a stenographer so I'm a fly on the wall and love it. I observe and make personal judgments all day long, but rarely share them. I'm living vicariously through you.
35, female. I am married but only a couple of people know that we are. Live in CA now but trying to move back to the east coast soon.
My hobby is watching TV and movies. I know that sounds strange, but it truly is a hobby. I watch many, many shows but treat it as a hobby. I look up the ratings every day and pay attention to the inner workings of shows, etc. Have been this way all my life. Really, it isn't an excuse for being a couch potato.
Currently in school getting my bachelor's in accounting. Exciting.
I'm not a fan of people, which is why I love your blog. I think Sean Penn said it best... "I'm a fan of humanity, just not a fan of humans."
35 yo dovorced mom of 2, the boy is 8 the girl is 5. I am in a relationship with my best friend, who is a LEGO king!
I love to read, make bows and love craft!
My kids drive me nuts, and I love every second of it!
29 yr old stay at home momma with 3 hooligans- Girl age 4, Boy age 2 and Girl age 1. I am a part time student who wants to be an HR recruiter when I get done....if I ever get done. I have a hard time with the "well rounded" BS they are trying to sell me on when I ask why I need to know about the atrocities of 1978 Argentina or why I need to be able to divide polynomials (pretty sure no one is ever going to put a salary request of 25x to the 3rd...). Your blog gives me the giggles I need to look at the mess the Hooligans made while I read it, and say "Ok, let's play pick up ping pong" in a very pleasant and positive tone as opposed to mean momma tone. Thanks for your blog! p.s. my elf is in hibernation, although Girl A keeps asking when he'll be coming back...isit bad I want to say never?
44 divorced mom of 2. A 14 year old son with autism and the same belief that Star Wars answers all questions and an 11 year old drama queen, daughter who has the career goal of pop star, but doesn't even practice her guitar. I have the rare combination pof sarcasm and witt tempered with actually being a really nice, caring loving person. It's remarkably funny because people aren't sure what they are getting
I am married with three kids, 14 yr old boy, 8 yr old girl, and 5 yr old boy. I stay at home, used to work but never wish to go back to an office. I am not one of those competitive stay at home mom's or June Cleaver types. I keep the house clean enough so DSS can't come knocking on my door and I try not to feed the kids too many chicken nuggets. I volunteer at my kids' schools and a local horse farm that helps kids - hope to start training horses soon. I live in North Carolina - we are not all rednecks who love Nascar and carry shotguns reagrdless of what you see on the news. Your Hubs and mine seem to be cut from the same cloth....he loves Star Wars too and quotes it all the time, even calls th kids young padawans - our kids do to & the youngest loves Darth Vader, is that a bad sign? I love your blog, I swear you can read minds as what you write is exactly what I think!
I thought you'd never ask! I'm a 30ish SAHM of a 4 year old monster that I love to pieces. I own a small plant nursery and spend alot of time working in my yard. I'm a bird nerd, gardener, reader, artist, animal lover, Zumba dancer, social butterfly & smartass. Love your humor, keep it coming.
Hi Jenn, I'm a 36-year-old, white female, mother of two boys aged 5 and 2. I found your blog when you posted about the overachieving elf on the shelf mommy. Sadly, that was me. So I'm sure you want to punch me in the throat (although I wasn't quite as bad as you think, I didn't ever make a mess like with snow angels or anything). But I underachieve in so many other parenting areas I hope you'll still like me. What makes me tick? A nice glass of wine after the kids are in bed when I don't have to listen to star wars, ninjago, beyblades or any of the annoying noises from nintendo/leap frog device. Hmmm, it's 10am now, only 10 hours to go... Love your blog!!!
I'm a 30 (for the 6th time, but who's counting) divorced Latina mom of a soon to be 5 year old little girl. The longer I've been single, the harder it is to talk myself into dating again. Bunch of crazy weirdos out there.
I work at a church as an HR rep/office manager. I have a potty mouth and I love Star Wars (so please let the Hubs guest-post more often). I bake, scrapbook, knit, and drink wine, mostly drink wine while trying to do the other hobbies.
Married for 11 years. Wish I wasn't though. I stay home and take care of my 3 kids, all boys, so the volume level in here could rival an airport. Recently moved to Philly but don't have any friends yet so its kind of lonely. My fave color is orange, I have a makeup addiction, I hate reality shows and love Jane Austen & Stephen King.
Hi! 31 from VA living in KY w/ my lovely husband and my first child-a son, a tyrant-scratch-toddler. My friend FWD'd me your blog asking "did you write this?", as I often refer to punching people in their throats. I have since moved onto choking them out so as not to cause any confusion. I enjoy your blog! It's refreshing to know that not everyone feels the need to be PC when it comes to our kids. It's the best love but the hardest love and I appreciate your honesty! We love em, but sometimes, they make us wanna choke em =) Keep up the laughs! -Crystal
Happily married 36 yr old stay-at-home white female with six kids. I live in Florida, but I am from Wyoming. I miss the mountains dearly, and will probably be stuck in the armpit of hell (FL) for the rest of my life. People who live in FL would understand that comment. Outside of Orlando and Miami, IT SUCKS!!! Don't let the idea of endless beaches fool you. Wait, I think I just came up with an idea for a new blog! Anyway, love your blog, I LMAO daily. I think what is funnier than anything though, is all of the people that seem to get so offended by your comments. Seriously people?! Lighten up!
I am a 30 year old married stay at home mom with 2 daughters (ages 6 & 2). We are currently living with my in-laws while we build our new home. I love your blog and read it every morning. Gotta have some comedic relief with our current living situation or I would lose my mind!
I'm 35, hubs is 47. Miss Thang is 10 and Mr. Man is almost 7. SAHM & Part time Student..from Southern Ontario.
Ha I have a nine year old with Aspergers obsessed with Pokemon and Star wars too! My daughter was very disappointed in me the other day because I confused Arcanine for an electric pokemon - I mean really! what was I thinking? "Clearly he is fire mother." Head shaking. Sigh....
Oh yeah, I am 39 about to be 29 soon. I am most easily identified by my truck driver mouth ;)
little boy pee...giggle.
29, white married female. Live in TN and my husband is medically retired from the Army due to an Improvised Explosive Device. He works with bomb robots and I work with wives of wounded soldiers.
Married 7 years living in dallas texas. I'm delusional, odd and i laugh at things I shouldnt
39 year old married mom of 2 boys, born raised and live outside of Philadelphia. I think you have read MY blog!!! Which thrilled me btw! (Shameless plug, here: http://mommas-musings-by-momma.blogspot.com/) So you know more about me than most, since not many read my blog!!! lol Love your stuff Jen!
Michelle - 33 year old female living in hell (Cleveland, OH)for the next three years while my Hubs finishes his residency. No kids, but 2 cats and a weiner dog. Love the blog, it makes me laugh everytime. Hubs also appreciates his new nickname :)
I work in real estate (title insurance) and am getting ready to start nursing school.
single mother of 2 (Noah, 11 & Maddie, 8) working 3 jobs and going to school .. for me there is nothing going on in my life that I cant find a song that goes along with it .. but I'm not a cheesy musical, just have a love for music.
58-year-old MWF, no kids, two dogs and a cat. Retired market researcher, involved in animal rescue. Have been blogging for about 6 years about politics and general subjects. Came here on the recommendation of a good friend and now have you linked on my blogroll because I really enjoy your blog! I'm probably on the older side for your readership but am young at heart, LOL! Husband is an engineer, still working.
I'm 24, married and the mother of a mutant spawn who is 4 (I love her dearly). I'm a military wife, and currently in school to get a degree in Business Admin, and I want to open up a bakery one day. What makes me tick, mocking people in my head while sitting in class, french fries, and a bottle of Mommy's Time Out (there actually is a wine called that and it is DELICIOUS). Of course, can't forget that mutant spawn and the hubs! Keep up the great posts, you really make my day!!!
My name is Kristi. I'm 37 years old, live in Florida, been married for 8 years, & have two stepchildren. My husband and I own a business and work together from a home office. In my spare time I write about my food & travel shenanigans, drink beer & wine, eat bacon cheeseburgers & crab, grill, read, take pictures, play WWF, and take long romantic walks on the beach with no clothes on. <-- just making sure you're still reading! :)
Thank you for opening up your life to us and for all of the laughs!
I am a middle aged (uugghh) women, with young children, had my first at 40, second at 43, so I'm old and tired with a young disposition. Recently started blogging and found you through a friend. I have often times, in my sleep deprived mornings, snorted coffee out of my nose while reading your blog. It has been liberating. I have posted comments on your blog and I thank you for the laughter. I have often thought of you while collecting the girls tote bags filled with scary items from around my house.
I have a bad habit, which we share, of candidly telling it like it is, which offends many, but occasionally I find an ally.
congrats on the popularity of your blog, it is deserved.
I am a 32 year old married mom of 2 -- 4 yr old girl, 2 yr old boy. First came the kids, then marriage, June will be 1 year. So not the norm with our friends -- he is a pilot, I am a nurse....not the way all of those years of Catholic school taught me. I was supposed to "save" myself for marriage. lol. I LOVE your blog. My first was Elf on the Shelf and I was hooked. Also loved your repost of the ER visit this weekend....I work in an ER, and that is exactly mine and probably every one in America.
My in-laws live next door, my mother lives across the street. It is so much like a sitcom at times. And I swear half the time I am looking for the hiddn cammera filming me!
go to www.unchangeablechoices.blogspot.com and you'll get a feel for who I am.
My name is Dawn, not Anonymous. I'm a 31 year old married woman, employed full-time, mother to a 3 year old daughter and another daughter due in April, living in rural Illinois. I enjoy running, reading, baking, any outdoorsy stuff, and pinning items on Pinterest that I will never get around to making or being able to afford to buy. I enjoy your blog because of your sarcasm, humor, and the fact that you don't sugar coat topics. Keep on writing!
37 yo SAHM, reformed schoolteacher, wickedly irreverant sense of humor in a very reverant Baptist family. Surrounded by little people who (think they) control the universe. I like to take pictures. I like it even better when people pay me to do so. Sometimes, they actually do. You had me at 'screw the elf'. Almost in a Tina Fey crush kind of way.
35, married, mom of 2 boys, owner of JILL MARIE originals. What makes me tick, you ask? My business, anything crafty (I'm not one of those overachiever moms though - promise), fabrics, sports, music, my kids and husband, and having a few beers on a nice summer day. Or really any day for that matter.
OMG! MWF, 60yo this year...I AM ALWAYS THE OLDEST!! Anyway, been an RN for 37 years-not much I haven't seen and/or had an opinion. Got hooked with the "elf"-thing. If I would have had a blog "back in the day", there wouldn't have been the need for Valium! Keep up the good work!
Nice try Mark Zuckerberg. I'm not say nuttin'
Hi! I'm Christy, too. Married, 31, white. We have a son who just turned 3. Planning to try for another sometime this year, I guess. I go to work every day, although I don't do much work while I'm here--your blog keeps me looking busy :) Thanks for bringing a smile to my face every week!
40. WF, mother of 16 year old daughter....living in sin for the last 7 years and way over waiting on the "ring" which will never come. I too work in Real Estate & property management in Sarasota Florida. Love your column...hate people who try and be as funny as you....they alll suck.
32, WF, living in sin for 4 years in CT, 18 year old "step" daughter in college, Dog. LOVE your blog.
36 yo MWF, live just outside Philly, mother of 2 girls, one 7, the other just turned 1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog. It cracks me up everyday, and sitting at this job on this computer everyday, I need that, so thank you. I agree with and can relate to pretty much everything you write. Keep up the good work! Makes imperfect mothers like me feel more "normal" THANK YOU!!
47-y.o., happily married, white female, from SW Mississippi. (well, it took 4 marriages to find that happy one! LOL!) I have 1 bio-daughter,27, but when I married my husband, I inherited his 5 children,(now 24,23,20,16,&14!), all of whom he had custody....(Did I mention I'm a bit insane?) I am an animal lover....5 dogs, 2 cats, fish, turtles, etc...I am an R.N., but no longer work full-time, just nights PRN. I LOVE to read, love music of all genres. Totally a Pinterest addict, and a NASCAR and pro-football fanatic. I have lived through some shit that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and it taught me to hold dear the ones I love, and to start enjoying the simple things in life. I LOVE your blog, and sometimes, when I am seriously LOL, my husband just gives me a strange look...Yeah, baby...she just put into words what I think and I love it!!!
30 Married for 7 years..I have two sons 5 and 6 years old. They beat eachother up almost daily. I live in North Carolina and I came across your blog about that friggin' elf on a shelf stuff. It was funny, and have been reading your stuff since. Just call me Twat Muffin..trade marked, copyrighted all that crap. No it's not so u can steal it, like asshat...I saw a hat that was an ass years ago...fabulous, you should get one!
I'm Stacy. I live in Texas, am 35, and am married with a plethora of kids and dogs, some of which are mine, all of which are more brilliant than everyone else's. I think you're raw, funny, and honest, but your blog should be called "People I want to punch in the uterus." More shocking = more fun, and we all know that most people who deserve a swift punch actually have a uterus. I'm a wannabe photographer in art school with too many friends who just "like" everything I do to get an actual opinion from anyone, so chances are I actually suck. Just floating along in the sea of life, way too concerned about NOT living vicariously through my awesome children, and finding it hard to socialize with other parents because of it.
35, mother of 4, ages 2-7, wife of an overworked policeman. I have a FB page, Dizzyhappymama, if you want to check it out. ANYway, I found you right before Christmas, late one night when one of my friends posted your Elf post on FB. My kids were all sleeping and I was laughing so hard I cried and peed my pants. I made my husband come into the bathroom with me and I read it aloud to him. We laughed for a solid hour. He even called me from work the next morning and had me send him the link to pass around. If you can make a cop laugh, trust me, you have some serious talent. We have really enjoyed your husband's posts as well. Sometimes I feel like we are the only non mushy couple I know and it makes me happy to know others out there find joy in sarcasm!!
Oh yes, you had me at the elf post ("that little bastard" - haha!).
38 yo SAHM mom of three, 7 and 5yo boys and a 3yo girl in Greensboro, NC. (I have a brother in Olathe but we're from Northern IL originally.) I love to read and I finally read The Hunger Games last night. I had to finish it and was up until 2:30 am. I try to stay active and exercise most weeks. I love Tina Fey, too (and you totally deserve to hang out with her at least once!).
Oh, and you are a bad influence on me. I have been trying to be less mean and not such a bitch and piss people off, but you are inspiring me to bring it back. (And my DH thanks you!) I had pretty much stopped flipping people off while driving and hopefully at least will not start that again.
I am a can't-believe-I-am-50-year-old married SAHM of 3 (girl 15, boy 13, boy 10). Bored out of my mind doing endless dishes (no dishwasher), laundry and driving duties. Husband's a great guy but doesn't help AT ALL, so can't imagine trying to balance home and work again. On many days, your blog is the most entertaining thing in my life. Thanks for all the laughter!
26 yo SWF, in long term relationship, no kids yet. I imagine that when I am a mom, I will be just like you, which is why you make me laugh so much. I even send you blog to my boyfriend... he really appreciated the hub's valentine's day post. :) I like to comment a lot, especially to the dumb people that comment on your blog, but I use many different names. :) I live in Austin, TX, which is great because it's the least conservative part of Texas! Yay! I've also lived in Cambodia, Scotland, and Peru, but I'm originally from Michigan. Keep up the hilarious writing!
All my info is on my blog (the majority on the very first entry last year) but your blog helps me get through my workday! Just know the laugh you give me sure helps my mood for the day which in turn helps the enviroment in my office which in turn boosts the moral......you didnt realize you did so much did you ;) keep em coming! Www.amanda-mills@blogspot.com
30. Mother of 1 boy (8 months). Married for almost 3 years. Live in MA.
I'm anxiously waiting for the day you meet Tina Fey.
31, former Michigander living in Belgium w/ Belgian boyfriend.
I thought I'd be able to give you pages of what makes me tick but suddenly I can't remember any of them. I'll just say that lots of things make me tick but rarely does anything make me truly angry.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this hilarious blog. I'm never disappointed!
I am 33,married, have 3 daughters, live in Delaware...and if you are bored you can read a little more in this post on my blog.
http://somewhatsanemom.blogspot.com/2012/02/15-1-things-about-me-no-you-didnt-ask.html
34, married SAHM to 4 in MI: the boy is almost 13, lord help me! And the girls are 7,5 and 3 all going on 17 again lord help me;-) The day I go back to work is fast approaching...after being home with the kids for 5 years I realize that I truly need to get back to work just to get back to the "real world" however I am not so sure I will return to the corporate world after realizing just how similar it is to being home all day with little girl drama...its time for a change;-)
Your blog is the only thing that makes me laugh in the morning...I am not a morning person, even my kids know that they can't speak to me until after I have had my caffeine AND when I finally speak to them...so that is a HUGE compliment and I need to say a big THANK YOU for keeping it real!!! Love, love, love your blog:-)
43, married, 3-year-old son, work outside the home. I write a blog about my son (to keep family and friends up-to-date). Sometimes I'm jealous of your blog because you can say things I can't/won't say on my blog! :)
Allison, Ali for short. Originally from FL, living on Long Island, NY. I have 1 kid, a 5 year old girl. who, from the sound of yours and hubs posts, sounds just like your 5 year old. not married, but have been together 10 years now. our likes and dislikes are very similar. but my fav thing to say is, it's not that i hate people, it's just that my bullshit tolerance is so low. i would say that we should be bffs, but i already have one long distance bff, and i don't think i could handle another.
38.MWF.PICU nurse.mother of 2 beautiful girly girls, known as the "Riddlettes". the almost 4 year old started having "mood swings" about a week ago. the almost 2 year old has had "mood swings" since taking residence in my uterus. hence, the reason(s) your blog makes this snarky gal, roll!
I'm Anne (the lady with the oranges analogy). I'm a MWF, 47 years old, old, OLD! I've been married goin' on 24 years and have 6 kids: 3 by birth, 3 by adoption. My adopted kids came to us from Kazakhstan, and were nearly 6, 10, and nearly 14 at the times they joined our family. I live on a small farm with horses, goats, chickens, etc, and when I'm not busy feeding the chickens, cooking for the masses, or surrendering to the weeds, I'm usually writing. I write my blog Life on the Funny Farm (http://annesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com), plus a memoir-ish book that I'm currently trying to find an agent for, and the occassional magazine article/essay.
do the cat and dog plan to take over the world, or you :-D
35 WF, semi-happily married. No human children. Live in Kentucky. I read this because you crack me up, keep it real and don't make motherhood sound like rainbows and unicorns.
Jessica, but most call me Jess. 23 year old newly wed with a goofy dog. Originally from Georgia, but moved to VA when the hubs joined the Coast Guard. I read your blog mostly when I'm at work because it brightens my day, which can be quite boring at my office. I like being outdoors, spending time with the hubs, reading, people watching and hard-core judging. I don't think I see a person that I don't judge a little. It's good to know that others have a similar point of view to mine. Love the blog and random topics that you talk about!
Hi. I'm tightly clinging to 39 and not letting go for awhile. Married for almost 20 years. I have 4 daughters with an array of ages from 16 to 5. Not sure what I was thinking with the last two. I could almost be home free in the next few years and instead I'm starting over with the whole
School thing. Punch me in the throat. By the way all the kids are girls. Ha ha. Lots of hormones going on. We have 4 dogs inside and 2 dogs outside. My house is a zoo. I am a speech therapist and I am also very sarcastic so I love your blog. I think we may be soul mates :)
I am a 49 year old (for a few more weeks at least) white married mother of 2. Unlike you my kids are grown and my husband and I are enjoying our empty nest. It's like being a newlywed again except now you know about the other person's annoying habits but now they are somehow endearing. Reading your blog makes me feel as if you live in my head and I am okay with that...keep up the good work :-)
37 and married with no children from Syracuse, NY. Love your blog - you say pretty much everything I'm thinking already but don't have the balls to say! My husband also enjoys your blog - we are both anxiously awaiting your non-lesbian girl date with Tina Fey!
Married, 37 year old mom of Haley (senior in HS) and Ryan (sophomore in HS). In home daycare provider who loves watching sports, being with her kids, and helping others! Love reading your blog! Thank you for "keeping it real" cause too many people in the world do not!
Heidi IA
26 year old newly divorced mom battling depression, a full time teaching job, a masters degree and 2 AMAZING children ages 2 and 4. I thank God every day for full custody of my children even if they are turning my hair gray already! I love logging into FB to see a new blog post, your humor kills me and helps get me though some pretty tough days!
40...MWF...2 kids ages 9 and 12...live in Mason, OH. Love your blog...started reading when you went to get a massage and LOL'ed! Love your honesty and humor! AND I am a first time commenter :)
You had me at Elf on the Shelf, and I've never looked back! I'm a 30- something woman living in a Detroit suburb with the hubs and two boys aged 7 and 4. You are the first blog I've ever followed and love reading! I find you hilarious and I love love love reading your posts.
I'm Shonagh. I'm a 40 year old divorced mother of 2 (19 yr. old girl, 17 yr. old boy). I live in Guelph, Ontario, Canada. Found out about your blog from a friend and LOVE it!!!!!
Hi Jen! :-) I'm Deanna a 26yo cop in the Washington DC area. I am married to a firefighter and together we are a pretty badass couple. We are expecting our first child in October. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs because you and I seem to think and bitch about the same things every day. If only you knew the kind of shit people say and do to me. Its great stuff. If I wasn't so lazy i'd write a blog like yours. But you are better with words and I enjoy doing nothing on my days off (cause that'll all end in 7 more months). Thanks for asking!
38, married for 15 years, two boys age 11 and 9, one chocolate lab, full time working mom. I love, love, love your blog. I found you in Dec over the elf on the shelf story and I can't stop reading your $hit. You crack me up! There is so much pressure raising kids...and those over the top SAHMs drive me bonkers!! My kiddos are loved and well adjusted. It is good for them to see their momma working hard. Spending my time making silly games and cards for my kids would take away from the time I do have with them. Over the top moms need to find something else to focus on instead of raising helpless children that think is a holdiay. Love ya sista!
28 y/o single Yinzer (aka I'm from Pittsburgh) with cats as my kids. Love looking forward to your rants/raves/bloggings. You allow me to live vicariously through your punches while I try an maintain a smile without killing anyone at my job. Good work, you've saved thousands.
32 yo MWF, pharmacist from Ohio, mother to a 6 month old girl. I totally love your blog. You had me at "douche canoe". I enjoy the comments from people who have no sense of humor almost as much!
35, wife, engineer from LA. Mom to a cat, trying to have kids, but no luck thus far. I'd love the chance to someday attempt (and fail) at being an over-the-top mom. I love the crafty side of all that Martha-stuff, but my attempts usually look like a 7 year-old got a hold of the glitter. Your blog made me smile through some pretty rough times thus far. Thx.
33 year old military wife, 4 kiddos ages 8,6,5, and 3, full-time student, and happy when I see a new punch in the throat post!
I am 33 and have been married for two years. I have three children, an 18 yr old, a 16 yr old, and a 12 yr old. (Yes, I was Really young when I had my children:) I have a fulltime job, 3 dogs and 3 cats. Your blog is a few minutes outta my crazy day to relax and laugh and know that there are other people out there like me.
58 ,mwf of 36 years, 3 kids, 6 grandchildren. Been through the OAMs, and believe they are getting more bizarre. Can't wait for the birthday party for a 3 year old including a free airline ticket to the party destination.seen lots of parents blow enormous sums of money for their kids to party and flunk out of college. Been through moms living for and through their children only to be completely devastated when their kids grow up and have their own lives. Got hooked after elf. Chuckle at your spot on observations of modern life. Wish Nate Berkus would visit me with an unlimited budget. Still 30 in my heart, but my body is a completely different matter. Keep it up, girl. Melissa Lochamy, Pelham, AL
Well, I guess it's not considered stalking anymore if you're wanting to know about us!
I am a 29 yo (been that way for about 6 years now) half caucasian/half asian female. Married with 2 girls (5 and 8) and live in the heart of Texas. I work full-time as a paralegal and like to run and work-out in my spare time. Spare time is usually 4:30ish in the morning. My name is also Jen. Actually it's Jennifer, but you can call me Jen. Just not Jenny. I hate that. I never considered myself an OAM. However, since reading your blog, I have come to the realization that I may be borderline. Your Elf post was my introduction into your world. I'm happy to say we do not own Elf on the Shelf, and thanks to you we probably never will. I get brownie points for telling my girlfriends about you and for the twisted ones who now follow you. ;) I love your witty, sarcastic sense of humor. Thanks for keeping it - keep 'em coming.
Witty Minnesota mom of 3 monsters desperately seeking sarcastic, F-bomb dropping blogger to fill her days with happiness... Read this to find out more about me. I don't usually share this side of me, but feel compelled to do it here (http://womenspress.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=20&ArticleID=3281).
happily married for 15years, I'm 39. We have one son 7 and one daughter almost 9. I'm so lucky to stay home and raise my kiddies and get lots of help from my awesome husband. We make our little family a major priority in our lives. I try to stay positive in general, but other people are really annoying to me. I'm addicted to exercising, crazy concept cause I've basically hated it all my life. I'm a blogger too, my not the honest kind like you, I don't get into the personal stuff too much. Clutter make me crazy, I'm constantly organizing and trying to make my home comfortable. I craft to fill the creative gap in my life from not do a real job(interior design). I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I not a cuddly person. I run the school garden, although I totally complain about the lack of participation from the school. I walk my kids to school everyday, even in the rain. I live in the paradise, So Cal, and have the best neighbors who are my best friends. I'm also totally addicted to TV, I completely blame my parents, who basically raised my in front of it. I'm so happy you write your awesome blog, I need to laugh and you fulfill that. Thanks!
32 yr old, soon to be married (in 6 weeks) black female, living in NYC area working as a administrative manager/meeting planner, with a passion for singing and making jewelry. No kids yet, but your posts often make me think of my sister and her four kids (2 boys 12 & 10 yrs, 2 girls 4 & 6 yrs). I am drawn to your wit and sarcsam, love that your sense of humor is as askew as mine happens to be. I stumbled across your blog one day a couple of months ago and now I am hooked! Thank you for making the days more entertaining!
43, married for almost 18 years. mexican. living in arkansas.stay home mom of 3 boys. was a graphic designer 20 years ago....i like the way you think!
*Thanks for keeping it REAL...
still working on first cup of coffee...
MWF - Realtor, mom...more on me here: www.midlifenoncrisis.com if you're interested!
I am a married white female, 29, with a 6 month old little girl. (Nobody ever told me the about the high entertainment value of having a baby). I live in DC now but am moving to Kansas this summer - can't wait. And no, that wasn't a sarcastic comment.
vrdodson84.blogspot.com
This is me. =)
30 year old married white female, 1 kid (girl, 8), 1 dog, and 2 cats! Saw the Elf on the Shelf post on a friend's Facebook wall and have been reading ever since . . . shared with a few more friends too!
Cristina, 26 y/o. I have a 6 y/o son who is 90% deaf in one war, and we just got a hearing aid -- oh what an adventure!! My newest is almost 4 months and so far pretty easy going! I'm a breastfeeder, so that gives me plenty of PIWTPITT!! I also have an 8 y/o sister with an absent mom and my oldest has an 11 y/o sister whose parents suck, so they are my honorary kids! I've known the 11 y/o since age 2 and she's giving me gray hairs way too young!!
I'm with my 2nd sons father who says he wants to marry me but spends all his $ on snowmobile and hunting stuff even though all I ask is a gemstone ring (I hate diamonds, they are cheesy).
I have worked in music, modeling, commercial acting, personal assistant to the owner of an MMA fighting show, and now am back to staying home.
I love writing, but never do it anymore, I am a purveyor of all thins artsy, but never the creator!!!! I have a tattoo on my foot (and 5 others) that says "I need music to set me free" and it is the truth of my soul. I'm a born again "messy" Christian. I smoke, I swear, I sin... A lot. My life motto is 1 Corinthians 13 love verses which should apply I all things, not just your partner!
I found you through another "mom" page on Facebook in January but read you everyday now.
My son loves star wars and Legos, I suck at both!! I could go on, but it'd get even more boring!
29 year old, married woman with one son (16 months old). I am an accountant from Oklahoma. I got a link to your blog in January from a mother's forum when you wrote your letter to Beyonce and Jay-Z. Love reading your stuff. It always makes me laugh and brightens up my day!
I'm 29, a happily married wife of 8 years, and stay-at-home mom of a 4 year old boy and 2 year old girl. I'm a former high school teacher who may or may not want to continue teaching. I found your blog through some friends on FB and enjoy reading it each day. What makes me tick: my family, reading, and apparently worrying obsessively about our planet and wishing I had majored in some branch of science.
43 y/o SWF 5th grade teacher with an almost 4 yr-old son. Approaching 40 and still single decided to have a baby on my own (with very supportive family close by!). Loved your E-on-Sh post, as we got an Elf this year. Ours rotates among 3-4 spots, usually tossed at the last minute before my son gets up since I always forget before bed (or because I fall asleep when I put him to bed).
Teresa. Mom of 3 boys (4 if you include my husband) I live in Texas and my days are filled with laundry, cooking, and cleaning. (I know, the excitement of my life is overwhelming! Try to contain yourself) I read your blog daily to get my giggle on! Love your no bullshit take on life and all that happens, the name itself, punch in the throat, makes me giddy! Keep on keepin' on!
51 years old, white, married, athletic old lady. Sarcastic, fed up with bad manners and spoiled kids, live is a bubble of over paid trust fund morons. Trying to keep my kids heads on straight, often perceived as that crazy cheap mean mom. Wear that badge proudly.
:) almost 30, EWF (engaged white female) SAHM of 2 :) my fiance and i "met" on myspace while he was doing a tour in iraq, which is why i loved your blogs about meeting your Hubs. my favorite color is blue, a lot of times i feel like life is very surreal (like i should still be 17 and in high school, theres no way in hell im actually 29 washing dishes and doing laundry all day) i love to read, i live in the middle of the woods in maine, i love to knit and have an etsy shop at
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CSFWorks?ref=si_shop
and im one of the people that emailed you at one point to ask you about making money with your blog :) my blog is at
http://noyoureajerk.blogspot.com/
and i love reading your stuff :)
Hi. I too am another Jen. I am 34, live in Massachusetts, married to the Hubs for 12 years together 17 years, 2 kids (girl 7, boy 4), cat, dog, guinea pig, fish. I found your blog as someone posted the link on Facebook about the Elf and I have been hooked ever since. Most nights my husband asks what you wrote today so I end up reading it to him. He would be better off reading it himself, since 90% of the time I am laughing my fool head off.
Other than that I am pretty boring. Thanks for my daily laugh and allowing me to know that I am not the only one that thinks like this!
You mean you don't like all of us silent observer types? :) I'm a 31 year old female, married but not planning to have kids. I sit at a desk all day working for the man in corporate america and your blog brings me a smile in the midst of the daily doldrums. As others have said, you say everything I think but am too afraid to actually say. I just started my own blog, but it's movie reviews and random bits related to movies and pop culture. A friend of mine is contributing but it's mostly mine. (thereelcult.com). I am going to try to let my snarkiness find a home there the way you have found yours here. I don't have any readers but your blog gives me hope that the internet will find me if it wants to. Keep up the awesome writing!
Frustrated (and sometimes bored) at home mom trying to finish school online sporadically... I'm 42, the hubs is (like he LOVES to remind me!) 3 years younger. We've got 3 still-at-home semi-young un's, 24-g, 17-b, 11-g. I credit the 11 yr old with most of my gray hair. 3 dogs, 4 cats... Now that I think about it, not sure how I can ever be bored :/ Been lovin your blog since (like most others) the Elf post. So glad to have found you!
36 year old single mother of two: 16 year old daughter and 11 year old son. I'm the oldest of ten siblings, originally from San Diego. I relocated to small town Georgia in the heart of the Bible belt to work in the legal profession saving the clients from the attorneys I'm forced to work for. Writing in an outlet for me, very similar as it is to you. Love your smartassery and sense of humor.
32 year old, married white working mom of 2 girls (3 1/2 & 2) currently living in Texas (unfortunately). Followed your blog since the elf on the shelf post.
It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...
No, wait, that was The Jerk. I'm a married mom of three who never bought an elf for any shelf and refuses to do so.
38, soon to be 39 year MWF living in the upper Midwest, where yes, its cold and I hate it but we run a business here that is established. I, unfortunately, work full time as a marketing manager and I guess I do it not only for the benefits and salary but because I couldn't be a full time stay at home. If given the opportunity I would stay home 2 and work 3. But...who is dreaming now right? I digress. I have 3 kids - 7, 4 & 18 months. My 4 year old was diagnosed at 5 months of age with a rare chromosome disorder that only about 200 in the world have. Of all the luck...I think my daughter was number 51 diagnosed. Ok, just kidding for those that might want to stab me. I love her (and all my kids). She is mentally and physically disabled giving her a mentality of about a 12 months old (if that) and she is unable to walk, talk, or perform any of her own ADL's. I do a lot of advocating for her and special kids when I'm not working, changing diapers, sleeping or reading your blog -mainly for our local hospital and with our legislators about Medicaid (for special needs) and other pertinent issues. I read your blog to laugh and relate because man, I need it in this crazy life I have. So - keep it up but PLZ, I beg you...don't write to write because publishing houses are pressuring you or you feel you need to stay fresh and in the eyes of those that read...I want good, hearty, laughter when I read.
Hello! I'm celebrating my 40th birthday year. I'm Californian, but currently living in England. Married 19 years, kids 11 and 8. SAHM right now, lovin' it. Heading toward being vegan, but not quite there. Totally related to your post about passive parents - as my kids get older, I'm having to coach them on how to deal with these little entitled jerks, without making themselves social pariahs. Tricky.
40 something MWF (wishing to be SWF) will go into that more one day on my blog. STAHM of 4- 23 yo (special needs girl), 19 yo boy, 14 yo boy, 12 (almost 13)going on 20 yo girl. Born & raised in Utah. LOVE NASCAR, photography, the fam, travelling, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, NCIS. Found you through a friend on FB, also and am here for good! Thanks for the lol and giggles!
51 y/o MWF, no kids but three fur babies (1 dog and 2 cats); live in Northern California and work as a physical therapist; love quilting, reading, hiking, and drinking excellent wine. Grew up in the east (New England) and moved west to escape the horrible weather and feed my wanderlust (have been in California now since 1989). That's me in a nutshell :)
42 year old mother of a 10 year old girl who truly believes in her soul that she is a princess. Thankfully, the world seems to agree and treat her that way and I have to admit, she is sort of deserving. Very happily married for a long time to the cutest guy I know that I picked up at a party in college. I'm more of a type A minus - I'm either the underachiever of the overachievers or the overachiever of the underachieving set. I sort of fall short of one group, but outpace the other. Keeps everyone on their toes.
I think patience is one of those over-rated virtues, I can't stand hypocrites and I love your blog.
I babble more at my blog chickenwireandpaperflowers.blogspot.com
Hi Jen, it's Jen. I am also a white chick married to an Asian guy, although my hubs is of Filipino descent. Of course that means that I get the occasional "Where did you adopt them from?" or even "Your kids are so cute, who do they look like?" which can lead the two of us to muse that maybe we're not so cute. I'm on the opposite side of MO from you in suburban St. Louis. I have two boys, 12 and 9, and briefly considered punching my neighbor in the throat this morning at the bus stop when her son announced that the tooth fairy had brought him TEN dollars. Yeah, thanks for making an already grumpy Monday morning even grumpier for my kid, and here's a throat punch for you, dumb ass.
34 yo married female living in NYC area with twin 1yr olds and a 5 year old. I love your blog because parenting competition up here is scary and you say it exactly how it occurs up here...Dolce moms, overachievers, and all! Thanks!
Hi Love your blog, found it during one of many late night feedings ( new son now 4 months old), I also have a daughter who is 4. I am married and living in Alberta Canada. I work in health care and my husband is a cop so I found your post about your ER experience quite funny :) I look forward to reading what you have to say even if I at times have to google whatever you are referring too because I haven't heard of him/her and the silly things they say/do. lol
Hi Jen! You had me at Elf on the Shelf, passed on to me on Facebook. I now read you religiously. I am a suburban white 48 yr. old married mom living in an all male household, save for me and the dog. West Michigan is home. We have one son in college and one son in high school. You say things I feel, but would probably never put in print :) Most importantly, you make me smile.
44yrs old Austrian woman, living in Munich, Germany. About to be happily divorced, self employed relocation agent, no kids (not sure, if this is a good or a bad thing ;-)). Lived in CT for three years and all I missed there were women who told the "ugly truth" about the wonderful experience to have kids and hubs and all of that. Love your blog, Jen! I am one of your regulars over here!
Love, Inken
Hi Jen! 38 year old female married for almost 13 years. Full time pharmacist. Mom to my 2 year old little man and soon to be mom to a second boy (4.5 weeks to go)! I love your blog and often laugh out loud at work. Gotta start reading at home!
41 yo married female living near the Jersey shore, 2 kids, a boy and a girl, ages 9 and 6. I stay at home but freelance write on the side (medical writing though nothing very exciting). Discovered your blog with the overachieving elf on the shelf post and have been reading ever since. Love it. You make me laugh every day. Thanks.
I am a MWF. Lesbian. Mother of one amazing 7 yr old boy. Turning 45 in April, don't know if I like that. Been married for almost 3 yrs, but been together for more than 11. Have my own blog
thoughtsfromthepurplerockingchair
Love your blog, most of the time. Lives in Canada on the Detroit boarder.
Happily married white female with one daughter, one dog and one horse (not mine, leased) but might as well be mine. Obsessed with fitness, healthy eating, horses, running, and Star Wars. I consider myself a bit of an expert. Well, maybe not but I have a collection of the classic toys that make most boys and men alike drool. Sassy as the day is long, from Philly, residing in Colorado. Heart and mind usually worn on my sleeve. You know what I'm thinking. And if you can't tell, then you probably don't WANT to know. Love my family above all else and love people that say it like it is. Thick skins rule.
My name is Lauren, I am 21 and live in Scotland with my boyfriend. I am in my last year of university but feeling disillusioned by the whole thing. So many people I know who have graduated are either unemployed or working minimum wage. Your blog helps me to procrastinate! I think you are an amazing mum and you make me hope that I will be too when I have kids one day. Thank you.
Married, shorter than shit (5'), living in Purgatory (Maryland) due to the Hub's job (can't tell you or would have to kill you), 1 most excellent girl child, 2 old awesome dogs, pushing 40 (1 foot in the grave, 1 foot on a banana peel), originally from the PacNW (where people are kind, understand excellent customer service and know good beer and wine), work from home (inbound marketing shiznit), voracious reader, coffee drinker and red wine slurper, PIWTPITT blog lovah, smartass.
33 y/o mother of almost 3 from MI. 11 y/o boy, 2 y/o girl and a boy due in May. Love reading your blog, I feel like you would fit in with me and my girls like we have known you forever! You crack me up on a regular basis and I look forward to all your updates!
39 yo mwf. Live in Hammond, LA (about an hour outside New Orleans) with my husband and 2 girls, 5 and 7. Let's just say I cannot wait until they are 14 and 16. I started reading your blog since the Elf on the Shelf post. (Mine doesn't come out until December, by the way.) I run and I do P90X over and over and over. I can't seem to stop doing it. I love your blog and can always count on you to give me a good laugh. Thanks for that!
Another Jen, 39, 3 kids, wife, failed writer, stay-at-home mom who is sometimes lazy.
People I want to punch: Ones who are rude and / or ignorant and / or have no sense of humor. Bible beaters. Crafters. Homophobes. Most Republicans.
Things I love: Music, smart-ass comments, eye rolls, proper grammar, honesty, laughter, writing, reading, coffee, alcohol, crossword puzzles, driving, traveling, ranting, Detroit, "Downton Abbey," advocating for my child with special needs, YOUR BLOG!
Oh, my kids and hubs too: love them.
just turned 50 MWF- 3 daughters that live at home-- 26 yrs, 21 yrs, and 16. Yes they are five years apart but no I didn't plan it that way. My oldest has an almost 3 year son that also lives with us. Been married for 28 years- most of it's been good except for the occasional wanting to suffocate him with a pillow. I've taught for 27 years. this past year as a gifted kindergarten teacher.that's a whole different world- and stories about OAM and D's. I found your blog because some of my kiddos kept talking about this elf that appeared in their houses. Live in St. Louis but would be willing to run away from home if something better came my way!
I am 42, MWF, mom of 3 kids (youngest 2 are twins) and I am practically your neighbor (S.KC area). Hubs is also a SW and Lego geek, turning the kids into geeks as well. I found you when I saw the Elf post on FB and have been following ever since.
41 (yikes, I have even saying that) married mom with two children, a son who is 22 and a daughter who at times seems like she's 22, but is only 10...yup, you do the math. Work FT, drive my daughter to dance on a seemingly daily basis and read your blog whenever possible to laugh! thanks!
22 y/o single mother of two toddlers both effected by Fragile X Syndrome. I love reading your blog, started reading with the elf on the shelf and have continued ever since. Loved your blog about Amelia being denied an organ because that is a reality my children would face if God forbid they ever needed one and my reaction was very similar to yours. I swear you get inside my head! I look forward to your updates. PA is rather boring and the kids can be very tiring some days so your humor brightens up my day and reminds me that it is totally okay for me to want to "punch" some of the people we deal with on a regular basis. Right now the only people pissing me off are the "adults" at my son's special needs preschool.
I'm 40 (EEK!) a lifer in NJ (don't judge me by The Jersey Shore. I'd like to punch that whole cast in the throat and be done with it.) I'm married almost 15 years, I have two kidlets. I write romance novels to pay the bills, and I've been following you since the Elf on the Shelf as well. And if you hear someone screaming at the television during football season, it's probably me yelling at the Giants (it paid off this season!)
35 y/o MWM in Salt Lake City-yes even us men and mormons enjoy your punch throats. I work as a recruiter and my wife is a CPA. We have 2 awesome kids. Love your blog because you keep it real. I wanted to give a throat punch to the mom sitting behinds my at the movies last Saturday who didn't once ask her 4, strung out on sugar, sons to stop kicking all of our chairs! I want to throat punch the new oft used word: ginormous (is there such a thing as misspelling a made up word). I also want to throat punch commercials that are 2x louder than the show I'm trying to watch.
If you're still reading...
I'm 45 with one 8-year-old son, living in France for over 20 years (Paris and now the suburbs), married to a French man for over 12 years, originally from the mountains of NC.
My little brother's ex HS girlfriend shared a link on FB to your post about Overachievers and I loved it and ended up reading every one of your posts. I especially love the one where you confront that woman who let her kid block you in the aisle. I Never know what to say in those types of situations nor, being from the South, do I have the guts to be assertive most of the time. You were my hero after I read that. That and our shared love for Tina Fey. I've never been to Kansas but my older brother lived in NYC for over 20 years so I've visited it many times.
Best wishes!
I'm a 37 year old married mom from the Midwest with 2 kids ages 7 and soon to be 12. I started reading your blog after a FB friend referral of the Elf on the Shelf post and haven't missed a post since! You are great and 90% of what you say is what I'm thinking (like many others have said.) Started my own blog thanks to you which has really helped me vent and saved my hubby's ears!
This is me!!! I am a 24 yr old mommy of a 2 year old girl, a 3 year old boy, and a 27 year old hottie. I also call him my hubby. I work in a level one trauma ICU and am in school to become a P.A. My hubs works for the government, and has a lovely stay- at-home-Over-achieving mom. She means well... Bless her heart. I start my day off with a pot of coffee and your blog, while the nuggets "play" . Love your blog, and thanks for the laughs!
Elsha Baldwin SLC, UT
39 year old married mother of 3 (14 yo boy, 12 yo boy and 8 yo girl), work part-time and live in GA. Saw link to your elf-on-the-shelf post on a friend's FB page and subscribed after that!
Amy
Married, white, female, 38, of 2 kids (3 if you count the hubs)....Daughter is almost 8 and son is almost 6. Know what you are going through...live in Johnson Cty, KS as well.....I love your blog b/c you say it out loud (as do I, but I say it to people's faces!).....I just LOVE how some mom's can email and jazz up what they say, but are too cowardly to say it to the face!!! True.....I love that you are true to who YOU are!!!! (Just like myself and my family....) Keep it going! People LOVE you!
navy wife since oct 2005 I have 3 kids Owen 4 will be 5 in march so not looking forward to that first day of school in the fall, Bryn 2 she will be 3 in april and is a total spit fire, and last but not least Zoey 9months does she really have to grow up. We live in Virginia Beach abut we are from upstate NY. Blogs and facebook are y best friends
32 yr old MWF - DINK (dual income, no kids) living in Charleston, WV. My cousin's husband reads this blog and that's how I found it. I laugh out loud at it just about every time I read it. I also do my best thinking while blow drying my hair
Jenn - I'm a 40 yr old Mommy of two (boy, 9 and girl, 5). I've been married for 13 yrs to my first husband :) I work full time close to Boston and commute 2 hours a day back to where we've chosen to live out in the Massachusetts suburbs. Any questions about how to be an obnoxious Bostonian and drive like a jerk, lemme know.
I live in Ferndale WA, found your blog through a cousin on FB. Married for 21 years, 4 kids (14, 11, 9 & 6). I think we share a brain...you are funny and don't offend me at all with your humor. It is sick and right on at the same time!
MWF, 1 husband, 3 girls, one cat(who only loves me), two guinea pigs(that I take care of), two hermet crabs (That would die if not for me), and several fish (that died because of me). Not proud of the last one. We live outside St. Louis. I have been wanting to punch people in the throat for years so this blog just makes me smile. My husbank thanks you. :-)
Jen: I am a 30-something mother of 2 teenage boys. I am learning how to live on my own after 17 years of marriage ended a year ago. I have amazing parents and yes both sets of grandparents are still alive. I have one brother, whom chooses to not talk to me a whole lot. I think he's afraid I'm going to ask him for help...or he's afraid I won't. Not sure. I live in MN...mainly because I'm stuck here due to the ex and kids. Born and raised in Central IL but would love to move to AZ or someplace WARMER! I am thankful for your blog and the laughs you provide for me. I believe music and laughter are as necessary to me as oxygen, so I appreciate you helping me live. :)
44 year old white female in Fort Myers FL, single mom of a high spirited 3.5 yr old boy! Your blog inspired me to start my own about being a single mom! Love your posts! My daily morning laugh!
33 y.o. newly married (on NYE) white female. 1 husband, 1 dog. I read your blog when I need a break from the mounds tax returns I'm preparing. I work downtown Chicago but live in NW Indiana. Love the blog!
Married, 45, one son age 6, self employed massage therapist, I do Muay Thai kickboxing for exercise and so I really can punch people in the throat or the face for therapy. I read all the time. I live in SLC but I'm not Mormon (yes, we do exist here). Your blog makes me smile.
My first thought reading this post: "crap, I never blow dry my hair, would my thoughts be better if I did?" I'm happily married to the best skunk of a man I've ever met. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, but am not currently working. I do have great adventures with my Skunk & my dog and write about them on my blog: http://misadventuresenjoy.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-i-know.html where I more often than not look like an idiot, but I don't mind idiots have a lot of fun.
MWF w/ 2 little girls, 34, work full-time, and I am a conservative and still find most of what you have to say pretty damn funny. Actually, I am not sure what I am all i know is that I want less government involvement in my life, less of them telling me how to raise my kids, less of me working to support the lazy asses who dont want to work (i have no problem helping those who physically cannot work). I dont want to put my kids in daycare so some other lady can pop out 10 kids and stay home with them why i am busting my ass working to take care of mine. I would like to live in a country with a descent leader, havent seen one in a few decades. And would like for once to be surrounded by similar people with the same beliefs, but unfortunately looks like a majority of this country doesnt agree with me. So I will go back to work as a rep for the middle class and continue to get screwed by our wonderful, beautiful government...this is what makes me tick.
Hi, I'm a 31 y/o stay at home mother of 2 daughers, 3.5 yrs and 18 month old. I live in the Bronx with my husband and we'll be celebrating our 5 yr anniversary the end of March. I have only commented occasionally but read the blog pretty much daily (if I miss a day I get it at the end of the week wrap-up) I enjoy your witty take on life & humor and agree with much that you write. Please keep on entertaining us!
45 MWF fellow resident of the JO CO (make that Leawood "dahling!") 2 kids, no dogs, requisite SUV in the 3 car garage, along with a Ford pickup for the hubby. All stereotypes end there. Older child is at KState (I have a secret crush on Willie!), younger child is still in HS. I'm also a Jayhawk basketball fan, so I'm still in a pretty darned good mood, and Mizzoo can just blow it. They don't even rate a punch in the throat! Love, love, love your blog, and feel so proud that I live in the same county as you. :)
Married for 6 years, baby girl 16 months old. 10 pets, all rescues. Work full time as a Medical Assistant, and sell Thirty-One and might be going back to school soon. Joy.
Heyy Jen! I am a 24 yr old mother. I have a 4 year old little girl! She is my world and keeps me busy as i also work full time! I LOVE your blog, you just don't know how much! I think you are great. You remind me so much of my mother and myself it amazes me. I tell everyone I know to read your blog. Love that you just tell it how it is. Keep on ranting and raving! You seem like a wonderful mom and wife!
MWF living in your next door city. Proud {sometimes overachieving} mama of two with a few too many pet peeves to list out here. Really I play too nice to say anything to anybody. I will say that you have touched on a good number of them. And it's a good thing I work from home, otherwise I would get a few too many looks as I laugh at your posts.
34 yr old MWF, jersey transplant living in dc metro area, mother of 2 boys (5 yrs & 16 mo), part time consultant who learned the importance of balance and assertion the hard way, stalked by my Hubs via credit card purchases, read your blog because i like to laugh so hard i cry
I'm NOT telling you my age ....
but I"ve been married for 22 years to a Navy man - so I'm not last spring's baby chick anymore. We live in Guam / on Guam (that always confuses me about island speak)
We have 5 children right now....2 adopted, 1 bio, and 2 foster. (*we have only been foster parents for 10 months. We have had two others that have left us in the last 6 months)
The permanent 3 are boys / foster are girls.
You anonymously punched me (sort-of) because I did a blog called, Just Sayin' -
Oh....hubby and I are white German and tan-ish Native American - adopted kids are Haitian and African American - foster kids are Chukese.
We are all shades here and loving it.
I think that's more than you wanted to know.
Hi Jen. I am a newcomer to your blog and I am pleased to virtually meet you. Brazilian, 36, living in Rio de Janeiro, married for almost seven years now, no kids, two cats, English and Spanish translator. I share a blog (in Portuguese) with an old school friend, in which we exchange letters in a - kind of - old fashioned way.
Cheers!
26 years old, living in central Illinois. High school teacher for students with emotional and behavioral disorders as well as the school's dance team coach. Hubby is also a teacher and coach at the same school (that's how we met - aww!) and just got married in August. 6 month old maltese/shih tzu mix puppy who I adore. Waiting on the kids thing for now. Having surgery this Thursday for Crohn's disease complications, so I will be counting on your blog to cheer me up during the recovery process. Basically, my happiness for the next month is resting on your shoulders. You'd better make me laugh. I love dancing, trivia, food related shows, reading, Pinterest and the feeling of brand new socks. I want to punch people who are ignorant, who post complaints on Facebook many times a day just to get sympathy comments (who do they think they're kidding?) and who use the incorrect forms of there/their/they're and your/you're. Found your blog through a link for your elf on a shelf post and have been following ever since. I have a girl crush on you, much like yours with Tina Fey. Let's be besties.
29 y/o female, currently a stay-at-home Madre to an extremely active 2 year-old-boy, nicknamed "The Hurricane." I have been with my husband 5 years, and we met in graduate school. We are both Occupational Therapists. I am from Arlington, VA originally but we currently live in Anchorage, Ak. It is amazing up here! You would definitely have an amazing trip with much material if you and your family visited.
Love your moxie and wit! Makes my east coast roots quite happy!
Amanda
PS-- I feel like we all just put out mildly creepy personal ads. Or senior superlatives. Yet here we are!
58 yr old esthetition working in a day spa married for the thrid time(15 Years) one grown child with the first grandchild on the way. Married to a total geek,star wars,star trek,comix ect... Live in Michigan. Have similar humor and life outlook as you. Don't remember how I stumbled across your blog..BUT I am so glad I did!
http://blograndomthoughts-andrea.blogspot.com/
above is my blog,,that must be kinda how I found you...
I'm 41 and just married my second husband, who came with two daughters, which puts me in the "evil stepmother" category ... and since the rumor mill has it that I somehow seduced him away from his ex wife (which is a very flattering compliment, however untrue) it sometimes feels like I'm living in a fairy tale - but one of the original ones where cannibalism and statutory rape abound. To escape, I read blogs like yours, quilt, and enjoy spending time with my own son. In my first life I was an overachiever but it just proved too exhausting so now all my craft efforts go to things I enjoy and not anything to make the children look good to other parents. I also work full-time, do some volunteer work, exercise (to maintain that trophy wife status, you know) and cater to the whims of two spoiled former rescue animals (a cat and a dog), so it's no surprise it's taken me most of the afternoon just to write this comment.
Hey, Jen. I am a 42 year old Stay at Home mom to three boys from 16 to 10 and then our beautiful 3 year old daughter that we adopted from China in October 2009. My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and we are a boring stay close to home family who enjoys spending time together. I am a contractual school counselor at my children's elementary school but in my free time I love to read, sew and learn new stuff. I love your blog!
This is my first post and I have been reading daily since The Elf incident, it only seemed fair, you're right, to share something about myself.
I'm a 24 year old music therapist, working with preschool to highschool aged students with special needs. I've been with my bf in upstate NY for 3 years and we have 2 cats. ;) I love your blog - I have no tolerance for over priveledged kids or the parents who feed it. I also teach piano lessons and you have no idea how many 6th graders have pedicures and cell phones!
Married, 2 kids..1 is out of the house, the other still goin to school. Just turned 40..I read your blog to my husband and we laugh our ass off cause it's insane how someone in another county has the EXACT thought patterns as oneself. We here in Canada think your freakin GREAT! My new fav saying "umm yeah, you make me want to punch you in the throat when you do that"! Goes over real well at work!!!! lol
46-year-old, married mom of 2 boys, 8 and 5. One has sensory processing disorder, one doesn't. Have a Ph.D. in child development, seriously, and use it in part time consulting from home on human service programs for parents and children, but never use it in my parenting. Yell way too much. Volunteer heavily at children's schools but am a huge cynic and can't stand helicopter parents, overprivileged families, or anything too cute. You crack me up and I regularly share your posts on Facebook. Sometimes they get me in trouble. I am absolutely not an overachiever in the parenting department, though I do admit to enjoying art projects with my boys!
31 year old, married mother of 3. 2 boys (8 and 5), 1 girl (2). I'm a liberal currently living in southern Utah, where I am from. You can imagine how that goes.....I try to stay away from discussing politics or religion :). My husband plays professional baseball which has taken us all over the country. Toronto, Boston, Phoenix, Detroit and Houston, to name a few places we have called home. Getting ready to make our move back to Houston for the baseball season. I have FB and a random friend to thank for introducing me to this fine blog back in December with your Elf on the Shelf post . I agree with you on everything! You make me feel normal! Thanks for the great reads!
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