Last night, I was minding my own business when I overheard my kids arguing with one another. I was about to step in and break it up when I realized it sounded vaguely familiar and instead I wrote it down:
Adolpha (with her bitty twins in a wagon): Gomer I need you to go and watch the kids.
Gomer (playing with a ball): I can't. I'm busy.
Adolpha: No you're not.
Gomer (continuing to toss the ball): Yes I am.
Adolpha: You're not doing anything important, now go watch those kids.
Gomer: Ugh.
Adolpha: They're your kids too, you know. (Wow, have I ever said that? I don't think so. I don't think I've ever had to.)
Gomer: Fine, fine, fine. For how long? (This is totally something the Hubs would say and heaven forbid if you're 10 minutes later than you thought you'd be.)
Adolpha: I don't know - awhile. (Yup. Good move. Never give an exact time frame.)
Gomer: Well, when will you be back?
Adolpha: I said I don't know. You need to just watch them.
Gomer: Well, where are you going? Anywhere fun? (The Hubs says this a lot too. What difference does it make? Like it's OK to be gone for a long time if I'm getting a root canal, but I can't be a long time if I'm going to dinner with a friend?)
Gomer (putting down his ball and picking up one of the babies): Fine.....
Me: Gomer, you do realize those are dolls, right?
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| We're not real, Gomer. |
I don't know if you heard that Honda sent over a minivan yesterday. Well they did. We're having a great time testing it out. You guys, this thing is the bomb. Today the kids are I are headed off to swimming lessons and I'm looking forward to putting the wireless headphones on them so I don't have to listen to their music. Ahhhh....
Our older two kids had a conversation except it involved the third child---"No, I'm not wiping her butt, you wipe it, you smelled if first...."
ReplyDeleteYeah, we're mature like that.
The problem I run into with you smelled it first is,I have a SUPER sensitive sense of smell and well the hubs has none lol so I tend to ignore it for a few to see if he catches it. Lol then I end up giving him the baby since I always do it. So were mature like that too lol
DeleteWireless headsets in minivans make me want to believe in a benevolent god.
ReplyDeleteMy kids never went for that sort of thing. My daughter only played with Barbies long enough to potty train them and then threw them in the freezer if they "pooped" their pants. I don't know where she got that idea, since we never did that with her.
ReplyDeleteHer older brother would cry because she was being so mean to them.
I love that you clarified that you never put your daughter in the freezer for pooping her pants!
DeleteI overheard my daughter scolding her younger brother, 4 and 5 respectively, "if you ever do that again no more playing, no more toys, and no more water!" What? No water? I can assure you that I have never threatened my children with dehydration!
ReplyDeleteIve heard my girls say " do you want a spanking? " and " dont make me start counting!"
ReplyDeleteLast night my daughter grabbed my husband by the face and very seriously said, "Daddy, don't throw books." We were outside on the patio, not a book to be seen.
ReplyDeleteGotta love how kids think !!!! Oh the stories I could tell of mine and my sisters kids when they were little.
ReplyDeleteAt least she knows how to handle her man :D *snicker* you've done well, the force is with her.
ReplyDeleteAlmost spit my coffee out!! :D "you've done well, the force is with her." Omg!! Freaking hilarious!!
Deletehttp://rantingsofamouthybitch.blogspot.com/
Whipped at such a young age...there is no hope for humanity....
ReplyDeletewhowouldathought-Kevin.blogspot.com
Ahhh. Reminds me of Thing smacking hubs on the butt and telling him to 'knock dat shwit awf!' when he was trying to grab my boobs. TOTALLY something daddy says. I had no words.
ReplyDeleteThese are all hilarious stories. And Kevin: they are not 'whipped'. They are realistic! My oldest (now 25) was sitting in the back seat while an oldies station played "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" and announced, "Mommy you're meaner than a junkyard dog". Wow. I felt pretty sure I didn't deserve it at the time - but maybe so....
ReplyDeleteOh man, I'm glad The Hubby and me aren't the only ones who have this conversation all. the. time. It's like the Spanish Inquisition whenever I leave the house.
ReplyDeleteMy 5 year old had one of my hats on, pretending to be me....first thing she did was grit her teeth together and said "Don't holler instructions at me! I am the mommy!" Yikes, it hurts to look in the mirror sometimes. :D
ReplyDeleteDevan
My grandson (age 4)comes up with the most amazing things:
ReplyDeleteTo his uncle, once he had recovered from a reprimand and time out in his room: "You do that again and I'll tear the flesh from your bones!" (trust me, no one has ever threatened him with that)Upon being asked if he would like to go on a romantic date on the beach with Auntie Karen: "NO WAY!" "why not?" I don't want to get crabs!"..."uh...what?!" "Yeah, they come out of the water and pinch you." (whew!)
And then to his sister (age 9): "Thinking's not so bad. You should try it some time."
I loved this. It's reassuring to know that this is "normal" husband behavior!
ReplyDeleteYour children are fantastic! Why are men so annoying?
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Goodness. This is HILARIOUS!!!!!!! I love hearing what kids have to say. My kids repeat us too - I am always like "do I really say that?" Yup.
ReplyDeleteLOL... This was scarily accurate!!!
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