After being alerted by the Internet that Miley had done something HORRIBLE and I needed to stop everything I was doing and watch right now, I watched the video of her bizarre dance with teddy bears. I thought to myself, OK, that's really weird, but what do I know? Plus, what's the deal with the tongue? Is that hot? And I have to mention those giant teddy bears again. What gives? Is she a furvert now?
And then, I watched her strip down to flesh colored undies and then bend over for that douche Robin Thicke (don't even get me started on why I can't stand him, but he looked like a dirty old man last night - and a little bit like Beetlejuice).
When Miley wasn't sticking her ass in Robin's crotch, she was fondling herself with a large foam finger.
OK, seriously, WTF, Miley? Are you high? Are you drunk? Are you an idiot? Which one?
After watching her make a total ass of herself I went looking for her parents, Tish and Billy Ray, because I pretty much blame them for unleashing Miley on the world. Lucky for me, my kids were too young to get hooked on Hannah Montana, but I saw enough of the shitty clothes on everyone else's kid that I instantly hated her and her parents. We all know, her parents are the ones to really blame. Let's face it, that child did not wake up one morning and say, "Daddy, give me the keys to your truck, because I'm going to go and make an album." Someone had to drive her to the studio and someone had to convince the powers that be that Miley could be a hit. Someone had to let her pose in a sheet when she was 15. I'm looking at you, Billy Ray. When your mullet was too much for us to bear, you turned your attentions on your little girl so you could live vicariously through her and you ruined it for the rest of us.
So of course she's acting this at 20 years old.
I'm also completely confused by her "engagement." Really? I saw Liam Hemsworth on a talk show the other day and he seemed so normal. Sure, he was a little boring, but not insane. I fully expected Miley's fiance to be insane. Who else would put up with her ridiculous shit? What did he say to her after last night's performance? "You looked, hot, babe. Bring that foam finger home tonight - oh, and a bear suit."?? How could he look her in the eye after that and say, "You did good."??
I'm not surprised she did it, I'm just disappointed. I always have such high hopes for the young women in Hollywood. I always hope that they don't self destruct in front of millions. I'm not a terrible person, I really feel bad for these girls. I once rooted for Lindsay Lohan too, but there's only so much that you can put up with.
It's going to sound weird, but I feel like Miley has hit that point that my eight-year-old has hit. When he was four and five and six he could get away with stupid, outrageous behavior because he was still young and cute and naive. Now at eight, he's lost his baby face and his adorable toothless smile that he used to flash when he wanted to get away with murder. Now that he's eight, he gets the whole, "You know better. You're too old to act like that!" I feel the same way about Miley. When she posed in a sheet at 15 I could convince myself that she was duped and taken advantage of. Now that she's 20, her shit isn't cute anymore, it's just embarrassing and tired.
You know it's too much when the Will Smith clan looks at you like this:
Their son is dating a Kardashian and they think Miley is outrageous!
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