Here is Annie's: "It has come to my attention that the Kroger brand granola bars I purchase have far fewer choc chips per inch than the Quaker brand ... and this atrocity is completely unacceptable."
And here is mine: "Last night I wanted to soak in a bubble bath and I was out of bubble bath and had to use shampoo instead. The shampoo bubbles were not as soothing and it really disrupted my relaxation."
OK, it's time to whine. Let's hear your first world problems!
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186 comments:
The lock on the rear passenger door of our car automatically locks but won't unlock. When you need to open the back door, you have to open the driver door, reach behind the seat and flip a switch. It's really hard on us!
I heard this one yesterday on the street - "it rained and I got my Gucci (sp) bag wet. How awful!"
I hate that Starbucks has gone green and now uses flimsy lids which causes me to spill coffee all over myself and shell out yet another five buck to buy another one.
My gas light is supposed to come on when I have 50 miles left...this morning when it came on, I only had 45. SO unfair.
The first thing I wrote was I ran out of nutella last night & had to wait until the store opened this morning to get it :-P
But just now: This blog keeps giving me an error every time I type in my comment so I have to reenter it.
The grocery store a mile from my house doesnt carry the greek yogurt I like so I actually have to go to Wal-Mart or Target to get some. I pass both of these stores twice a day so its not like its out of my way, just an extra turn.
I wanted cheese AND crackers for my morning snack, but I only had cheese in the fridge.
When I am eating something and my kids decide they must have what I am eating. I literally take two bites before I share the rest with them. Someday I will enjoy a full meal without my little grubbers eating all my food, lol!!
Last week I lost an emerald earring between the seats of my Lexus.
My cleaning lady is out of town this week, so I have to vaccuum my own floor. The horror!
there was a scheduling snafu and I had to wait an hour for my free spa day.
There's no soda pop in this building. I might have to walk outside, under the clouds, around the corner to buy one.
I ordered boots from ebay. I need them by Friday. The last scan shows them on the west coast as of Saturday, and I am on the east coast. And what if they don't fit when they get here?
i hate when asked by Mommy 'Why didnt you buckle you seat belt?" and the answer i get? 4
yes really, she said 4
My toddler had a first world problem at preschool last week. Someone was sitting on his toilet during potty time, and he had to use another toilet. Oh, the humanity!
It's a little too cloudy at the pool today.
My cleaning lady went on vacation for THREE WEEKS and I had to clean my own house. It was torture.
lol nice
I just interviewed a new housekeeper and she had the nerve to ask for a little carrying container for supplies to go from room to room. Really? Annoyed the crap out of me.
Our brand new 3,000+ sq ft house isn't going to be ready to move into for another couple of months, so we are stuck in squallor in a small cave-like apartment until it is finished. Hmph.
that is torture.
My cleaning lady quit without notice! I coudln't even find the vaccuum!
This one wins. Really.
I am working from home and there is nothing good on Bravo...oh the humanity!
I wanted to read this post on my phone, but it wouldn't load, so I had to use my computer
I can't find my 4 year old son's iTouch 4 so he can play angry birds!
The builder of my vacation beach house isn't able to make it a 5 bedroom, just a 4 bedroom plus loft because of building code.
My massage therapist is quitting his job at the location near my house and moving to one across town. Now I either have to drive 30 mins for a massage or find a new therapist. Or pay him to come to my house. Life is not fair.
I was messaged a video on my phone that I tried to view on my ipad but couldnt so had to open on my laptop.
An age old problem....10 hotdogs, 8 hot dog buns.
Love this one!
I hate when my husband gets up to go to work and wakes me up, ruining a perfectly good sleeping in. how am i supposed to live like that?
Just had to call the pool repair company because water is leaking out of some pipes or something when I turn on my hot tub. Geesh...
Do you by chance have a Jeep Cherokee? I have the same issue. :-/
My friend complained last night that the Nanny put away her daughter's soccer shirt in the wrong drawer and she couldn't find it. Also that the cleaning lady keeps putting the remote away too far from the couch.
Fred Meyer's Rewards (aka Kroger) used to be much better. They've decreased their value. I used to get great coupons, and now, meh.
Best one yet.
I am sorry for your loss.
I wanted to see what all the fuss is about game of thrones-wise so ordered 4 mass market editions. well, the print was much too small so I ordered the large format paperbacks and got toatally sucked in! # 5 will not come out until next summer so I was forced to get the hardback edition. It is so heavy that it smashes me in the nose whenever I doze off... quelle horreur!
The coffee grinding machines do not grind fine enough for me to use the reuseable basket on my Keurig. I am forced to buy the pods for a decent cup of coffee.
To the second one: ME TOO! Ugh, I almost got off the computer to do something productive, but then I wanted to see what was going on on Facebook... So until my maid shows up, the house is going to be a little messy.
Our DVR wasn't working so we had to watch TV in......*gasp*.....real time!! No fast forwarding, no skipping commercials, no pausing. It was like we were back in the Stone Ages!! LOL
People who walk in Seattle next to the buildings with the overhangs (we get a LOT of rain) but carry umbrellas! Not only are the umbrellas at the perfect height to aim right at my eye, get in the rain you umbrella users! I don't have an umbrella and would like to use the overhang so I don't look like a slightly frizzled rat at my next meeting. As a native Pacific Northwester, I refuse to buy an umbrella. But, unfortunately my head/hair/brains - yea brains, are too big to fit in a cute hat.
I want a pair of Chacos for the summer but I just CANNOT decide what color I want, it is tearing apart my brain trying to make this decision!
My 2010 Toyota Prius automatically unlocks the driver's door when approached, but it does not automatically unlock any of the other doors so I must open the driver's door and manually unlock the rest of the car while my passengers stand outside! The horror!
I feel ya on this one. I am a fellow Pacific Northwester and I think we can agree that umbrellas are for tourists, and furthermore, overhang areas should be reserved for those of us that live here and do NOT feel the need to carry a stupid umbrella just because of all the scary scary water being dropped by the sky.
Right?? And don't even get me started about how now that Starbucks has gone green they don't send you free drink coupons and make you TELL the barista that you have a free drink on your card. They expect us to have to ASK for the free drinks we clearly EARNED??
I feel horrible & selfish & spoiled every time I say this, but I hate my iPhone & miss my android :(
Nope. Honda Civic. It's really annoying.
My Toyota mini van has automatic lock and unlock when i touch the handle (as well it SHOULD!!) But when I touch the driver's handle first, it only unlocks the driver's door! If I want all doors unlocked, I have to actually unlock and OPEN one of the sliding doors! Seriously, don't you think my butler could do this for me?
I love my Droid (Galaxsy S3) and my son just got an iPhone 5. I was afraid that I would be jealous of him. I am so NOT JEALOUS! First of all, I've hardly been allowed to get close enough to BREATHE on it, for Crying Out Loud (never mind the fact that I am the one footin' the bill for the damn thing, but that's rant for another day!!) On the off chance I do get to use it, I always say, "Never mind, Just give me my Droid!"
The tall building surrounding my shop block my XM radio when I am in the parking lot pulling in and exiting and ALWAYS when a good song is on.
We are having our backyard landscaping re-done, and installing a pool and ramada. The workers are making a lot of noise very early in the morning and disturbing my sleep. (I felt dirty writing that)
I use my own grinder and it works great. Do you use the one at the store??
That reusable basket is a godsend.
Oh! Yes, my jeep cherokee does the same thing on the back passenger door! And for added kicks, last week the hatch decided to do it too and I live a mile FROM THE BEACH. It's one thing to be inconvenienced in the carpool line but to not be able to load up your beach chairs, toys and cooler?? Come on ...
I actually tweeted this the other day: I wish the Starbucks drive thru people would just give me the number of Splenda packets I request instead of putting it in themselves.
Also, I hate it when I have to cut my fingernails because they are interfering with my iPhone usage.
The trick is to NOT grind it so fine. It clogs the mesh. Try it a little coarser.
My 30' Class C Motorhome only gets about 8 mpg. And when I tow my boat or UTV (Side by side), it goes down to 6. This means I have to stop and get gas for every weekend trip. Life isn't fair.
So... Technically I no longer live in the first world. Am not sure what Zambia is considered. However, whenever I'm home (Canada) I suffer from what I call "Expat Syndrome". You know.... you're home, wake up in the morning, get some breakfast then curse because you have to wash your own bowl, make your own bed and... the horror.... do the laundry!
Also, on my remote for my autostart (car), the battery cover broke off and now I have tape on the back holding in the battery.
My window cleaners are taking too long! I wish they would hurry up and get finished already so I could watch Celebrity Apprentice.
I have too many shoes and they won't all fit in my closet. #whitegirlproblems
My husband and I want to take his mom and stepdad somewhere fabulous for dinner, but all of the really cool restaurants in town are closed on Monday. What are people supposed to do? Eat at a chain restaurant or cook? (Please read this in the snottiest tone possible.)
Not only does my company not allow me to use facebook on the company computer, but the free wifi they provide is terribly sketchy! Sometimes I have to move my chair a good 6 inches to check my status updates via my windows phone...lame!
I don't get a pool membership at the country club five minutes away with a kiddie pool because my daughter's ballet intensive is costing more than we thought so instead I have to muster the strength to drive thirty minutes away to my husband's company club where there is no kiddie pool forcing me to put on a swimsuit three months after giving birth, sigh
I can't find any cute sandals without the toe thingy. I hate that little thingy that goes between the big toe and the next toe. And, I have a buttload of paperwork to do before the school year ends.
Poor me.
The tissues didn't pop up from the box the right way. I ended up having to pull out three at one time!
sometimes commercials are playing on all of my car's preset radio stations. at the same time. what is *wrong* with the world?
Neither one of the doors on my minivan are power sliding doors. I have to manually open them!
I wanted only the Entemann's Glazed Doughnuts...I had to buy the variety pack.
I need to choose between a 20 year loan and a 30 year loan for our dream house!
Skittles changed their lime flavored ones to green apple flavored, and I hate green apple. Ruins the bag.
There's nothing I want in the weekly Target ad
A stranger misunderstood me on Facebook and lashed out at me.
I cut my finger removing the foil from tonight's bottle of wine. It's bleeding. It hurts.
If this happens to me, I cannot be responsible for my actions. It's barbaric watching tv in "real time"!
:-)
Is it by any chance Liberte Mediterranean Greek yogurt? Because that stuff is exquisite...
I booked a cruise for January today and I'm sad I can't find anyone that can go on another one with me in December.
I started reading and thought, "Plumbing problems sound legit," and then got to the "hot tub" part and said, "Oh!"
I was so excited to catch up on my new favorite show Defiance. I started watching the episode and found my DVR malfunctioned and only recorded 10 minutes. the show repeats on Saturday but that is DAYS away.....SO not fair!
I'm having my ACL reconstructed on Wednesday so I can be 100% able to wear FMP's on my girls trip to Cancun in November. And my cruise in December.
They don't teach people at the store how to bag groceries. And when I carry them in with a toddler on my arm I get pissed off. Did you really need to put ALL the cans in one bag? Bread on the bottom? A box of pasta in a bag all by itself? What in the ever loving fuck?!
Every time my cleaning lady dusts she doesn't put my vases and knick-knacks back where they were artfully arranged. I have to go around the house after she leaves and put them back in their proper places! Can you believe that?!!!?
When I get a manicure I have to stop the hilarious text thread I have going with my friend b/c Tammy my nail tech is grabbing my hand and talking about me in Vietnamese. Uugh!
Stealing this from one I overheard this weekend. I ran in a big road race called Bay to Breakers in San Francisco which has many weird traditions, one of which is throwing tortillas around. A woman behind me commented "People keep throwing food at me! Talk about a first world problem!"
There are so many floor-to-ceiling windows in our living room that we had to build a wall to have somewhere to hang the flatscreen.
We had to buy one of those luggage rack pod thingies to put on top of our car so that we could fit ALL the crap we need to take to the beach with us!! UGH, it was like $300 and we have to wait two days for it to get here....
My son is using my iPhone, my daughter is using my iPad, and my husband is using the laptop. So, I'm stuck watching an on-demand movie on the 50" television. And the 'popcorn' setting on the microwave doesn't seem to be working properly so I'm going to have to enter the cook time manually. Hmph.
I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to this! http://pinterest.com/penelopel/first-world-problems-solved/ My favorite is the "time saving" jacket that has a hole in the sleeve, so you don't have to slide it back the check the time on your watch. Hahaha.
Anyway, my personal FWP: My child has nicer clothes than I do.
I can't get my cable remote to sync with my blu ray player...so I have to use the other remote to turn it on before I can watch Netflix!
My tricked out minivan with dual DVD players/game consoles only came with 2 headphones. I have 3 kids. They made me PAY for an extra! It didn't even come with batteries.
As a postal employee I complained to Starbucks customer service that they were taking away money from my pay check because they didn't send out the cards any more.
I think I'm the only person left without DVR. My bf makes fun of me when I have to get home in time to watch my shows so I dont miss them. I just cant justify spending an extra $40 a month!
Ugh, me too. And too many handbags - they take up so much shelve space that I dont have room for all of my clothes in my big walk in closet.
This weekend, I went to go get a pedicure and I forgot to bring flip-flops and one of my perfectly pampered toes got smudged. It was almost enough to completely undo the relaxation of the full body massage chair.
My wedding ring just doesn't sparkle the way it used to. :(
My Prius does that too!! Bah!! Doesn't Toyota KNOW who we ARE???
My boobs are too small.
Someone keeps taking the last of the package of free fig newtons in our company breakroom and not opening a new package! I have to either go to all the trouble of opening the next package of free fig newtons myself or slum on free m&ms.
Sometimes when I am filling out forms online I actually have to manually click an enter Button instead of just being able to conveniently hit the return on my keyboard. This is a HUGE bother for me. It takes a whole .5 seconds of my life away that I can never get back!
We were supposed to close on our brand new home tomorrow. The custom backsplash tile is supposed to be a rolled travertine tile in ivory. It's way more of a taupe. Unacceptable.
Our family has two kids but only one iPad.
My iPhone 5, iPad, and kindle are all out of power. You mean I have to fire up the desktop to check Facebook and open an actual book! Ugh...so awful
I didn't know whether to buy the Groupon for the 2 facials vs. the one for the 3 massages pack. I bought both and now my husband will be ticked at me.
The piano teacher is coming tomorrow which means I need to tidy up the house. AND---I have to do it myself because husband is out of town working.
Not mine, one of my students: I got a full ride to Harvard, Yale and MIT but I'm so confused i can't decide which one is the best fit! He is actually making a joke about it being a first world problem in his valedictorian speech next week!
Our Keurig broke down this morning so I had to leave the house a few minutes earlier to grab a Venti at Starbucks.
My pantyliners are too long.
The elevator at my gym was out of order today, so I had to take the stairs to the second floor for my cardio kickboxing class. The nerve!
WINNER!
I can't find my car keys with the remote so I have to use the valet key and physically unlock and lock the car....
My iPhone charger is all the way upstairs in the bedroom and I just painted my toenails!!
I guess I'll just go ahead and buy that personal assistant robot I've been eying for sometime!
I'd be careful if I were him--he might get punched in the throat:)
Same here with my mom's '09 Prius! It is SUCH a pain waiting for her to unlock the passenger door! Especially when the weather is so nice! *gasp*
I can't find Season 2 of Scandal (the first 16 episodes) online anywhere that is free!
I hate it when only half the tissue tears off!! ugh! Can't these companies fix these issues???
My family has too many clothes and I spend too much time doing laundry every week....the five of us produce at least 12 loads of laundry. Grrrr!
I bit into a cookie expecting chocolate chips. They were raisins. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh my gosh. I can not think of anything original and funny, but reading all of these in the comments has been a hoot!
My iPad battery died and I have to walk ALL THE WAY back upstairs to recharge it. My house is too big and my iPad too shiny!
When two ducks kept visiting our backyard pool, all I could wonder was: "Technically, whose job is it to clean up all the duck crap that's now all over the deck of the pool -- my housekeeper, my gardener, or my pool guy? Do I need to hire a Duck Crap Guy?"
that's hilarious and I totally agree!
I have to wait for people to update their blogs... *sigh*
Peapod doesn't have ANY delivery slots available today so I actually have to drive to the grocery store, walk up and down the aisles to find everything on my list, stand in the check-out line, load my car and then UN-load my car. Gawsh. I hate you Peapod.
Which in itself could be it's own first world problem:
My house is a little messy, and my maid isn't here yet to clean it up. Worst. Morning. Ever.
Oh God, you drive a car less than a year old?! The horror! We should start a charity to get you guys new cars. No one should have to live that way!
Literally LOL'd at this one!
Raisins in cookies are the #1 reason I have so many trust issues.
What do you mean I have to wait 15 mins to have my smartphone replaced for free?! Do you know who I am?!
Is it a 98 Civic? We had an issue like that, we ended up taking the door panel off and saw that the clip was broken and had to fix it.
I found this & couldn't choose just one.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/virginmobilelive/things-aint-nobody-got-time-for
Exactly.
The toe thingy sandals are the worst! It is difficult to find cute pairs of sandals for every summery outfit when limiting yourself to the non-toe thingy versions.
When my Roomba tells me Charging Error 3 and I have to figure out how to reset it so I can go back to not vaccuming.
Haha I have a Neato and can so relate!
We should join a club! I can't wear sandals withOUT the toe thingy and can't find any cute ones with it!
Fewer chocolate chips is a huge flippin' deal! ...I think my priorities are seriously messed up.
I fucking hate passwords and I cannot find any time to set up a 1password account. I hate my life.
My husband responded to craigslist ads soliciting sex so now I'm getting a divorce. (Granted that's more sad than funny but pretty sure third world countries don't have this problem.)
this is hilarious
I couldn't text or Instagram for like, 5 whole minutes while getting a manicure because I had to soak BOTH my hands. WTF...
haha! but seriously, that is terrible
My kids got ice cream on the tv remote control and some of the buttons don't work. Now I have to use the remote control app on my iPhone to change the channels!
My husband cuts one side of the hotdog bun in half so it fits 2 hotdogs. He calls it the double barrel hotdog. Problem solved.
We could only hook up 3 TVs to our satellite dish, so I since I have one in the living room, one in the bedroom and one in the kitchen, I can't have one in the office too. :( now I have to watch shows on my iPad or laptop while paying bills. It's rough
The stores around where I live are suddenly without Halo oranges. I don't want a regular, full size orange. I would like the little, easy to peel oranges. This insanity must stop. It must, I tell you!
Oh, this is a fun one. Where do I start?
We replaced cable with a Roku, and since we always lose remotes, we synced our phones to be the remote. So sometimes the wifi sucks and won't change the channel or it interrupts Pretty Little Liars.
My fourth pair of Toms is getting so hole-y that they need to be retired.
I hate how flushable wipes are not really flushable.
I can't find my five year old's Kindle, so they're always fighting over the LeapPad or chrome book.
My van is the EXACT same way!
I used up all my pretty smelling girlie candles creating ambiance for one. Now I only have plain non smelling candles left. Booooooo!
It's warm in my house so I have to lay a blanket/towel on my leather furniture to avoid sticking to it! Same problem in my car! Ugh!
The hotel we stay at during vacation doesn't have a DVR so we're FORCED to watch shows in real time and put up with.....*gasp*.....commercials!!
I'm crying now over this - spit out my mint chocolate chip sorbet
Just came back from a two week trip to Italy, and yesterday I went to get some ice cream... I have to say that ice cream is NOT the same as gelato... Ugh!!
My office was out of bottled water so I had to drink filtered water from the refrigerator door.
We don't have DVR either and we've only had a flat screen for less than a year.
I traded my Range Rover for a new Mercedes E-Series and the Mercedes driver exit system doesn't move the seat back, it only moves the electronic tilt steering wheel up and back....
No DVR here either. And we just got our very first flat screen this week. We all stood around and oohed and aahed.
I live directly on a beautiful lake. Sometimes when the sun sets, I have to close my thermal curtains because that damn light shining off of the water gets in my eyes while I'm watching Dr. Phil on my dvr.
My husband mistakenly bought cracked pepper covered goat cheese from Fairway because it looked like the herbed goat cheese that our family loves.
When ppl say "unthaw" .... It's NOT possible to unthaw something... By unthawing it you are actually leaving it frozen.
My Mercedes bluetooth connects my phone calls while I'm still talking and I miss like 3 seconds of what the other person is saying. Then they have to repeat themselves. :( Ugh!
I'm a zoning administrator and I received this complaint yesterday: "When the wind blows, leaves from my neighbor's tree fall into my pool and I have to skim them out like twice a day. I need you to make him cut down that tree." Sorry, I'm afraid that's not a function of the local government. You'll just have to buy a bigger skimmer. :)
My inground pool with diving board and waterfall has a water temperature of only 68 degrees because our solar heating panel is leaking and we need a new one. It was almost too cold to swim in this past weekend.
Or how many straps, toe loop or not, or what kind of sole...so many options but they are the best sandals!
I have 3 today: I'm only get 6.8mbps when I pay a sickening amount for 50MB internet speed.
My Samsung phone which is barely a year old is a piece of garbage that hasn't worked right or had a battery life of longer than 2 hours since I got it and I can't upgrade to a new phone for another year.
My Samsung (I'm noticing a trend)Tablet that is only 6 months old just turned off one day and won't turn on so now I am forced to read actual paper books, which is awful because I have a weird aversion to touching certain textures with my fingers.
Or how many straps, toe loop or not, or what kind of sole...so many options but they are the best sandals!
My car is loaded and I don't HAVE a miles left message. So how am I supposed to know when to get gas?!
One of the cords to charge my iPhone stopped charging my phone, so now I only have one. If my phone dies when I'm downstairs, I have to go upstairs to get the cord and bring it back downstairs again. Then I have to remember to take it back up with me when I go to bed.
My vision gets blurry after playing on my smart phone for too long.
Got a wine bottle opener from pampered chef that comes with its own foil cutter. Didn't know that's what it was fill 8 weeks later when I was sober enough to read the directions.
Da fuq us a valet key?
At this point I'd have rigged the computer to short circuit and fry his a**
Got a wine bottle opener from pampered chef that comes with its own foil cutter. Didn't know that's what it was fill 8 weeks later when I was sober enough to read the directions.
Oh my gosh- your first one. Yep. My husband changes phones at least once a day (addiction level) and so I absolutely cannot watch tv in my bedroom without his help.
Are you so stupid you do not realize that is a safety precaution. I hope they fix it for you so some stranger can carjack you when the passenger side unlocks.
I have read this blog for sometime and never commented. I usually find it quite funny. However, this I just find sad. How is this better than the people you typically go on tirades about who are upset over things that are ridiculous. I find the fact that people have so many stupid things to say embarrassing. And yes, I realize it is meant as humor. However, complaining with humor does not make it less off putting when there are plenty of people in the "first world" who would love to have just a few of these "problems" in lieu of the truly monumental ones they have.
I had to read this while my phone was plugged in charging cause it was at 4percent.
Buzz kill...
Thank you Jen for giving us a chance to laugh at ourselves, realize that we ourselves could be piwtpitt, and most of all for giving us a break from our truly monumental first world problems.
- a devoted reader who just received the results from a cancer biopsy
Totally have that same issue! My cleaning lady puts my trash can and recycle bin in completely different places after cleaning my bathroom and I have to go in and swap everything around! Very annoying! ;-/
This is meant to be a joke anon.. Chill!
When I got a tablet I had to start from scratch on Pet Rescue Saga!
I'm too lazy to read so I get all my books on Audible - but they don't have everything I want. (sigh)
My DVR only records two shows at once. (near tears)
The Sales Dept. bought lunch for the entire staff today, but by the time I went through the buffet line all the fajita meat was cold and there was no more guacamole. This is so unfair!
This is hilarious. I love reading these.
A few:
We had a lot of rain and we got a ton of mud in our unground pool so the pool company had to come drain it, clean it and refill it and I just want to swim!
We are on our way to a wine festival and my husband got lost and now we're in traffic.
Yes! To the only one charger. I hate when I have to go upstairs to get my phone charger and then I forget it at night and have to go and get it again!
Scandal's last season isn't on Netflix yet but I already DVR'd the current season so I could catch up! Waaaa!
Sigh. We're all out of caviar, and the champagne is flat. Again.
I have a healthy snack from home on my desk next to me at work, and if I want to have an unhealthy snack I have to GET UP and walk 8 steps to the office break room and get a free unhealthy snack from the cabinet. I CANNOT WORK IN THESE CONDITIONS.
My husband did the laundry before I had a chance to pull out everything that CANNOT go into the dryer.
So I'll be going to jail for homicide, maybe.
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