As I have said before I write so that I don't have to pay a shrink. In addition, I have a cleaning lady so that I don't have to pay a marriage counselor. It's another form of cheap therapy that I subscribe to.
See, when the Hubs and I got married, we quickly realized that neither of us enjoyed housework (who does?) and we both sucked at it. We spent our free time doing a half ass job cleaning our house and bitching at the other to clean better. It was awful. We decided that in order to save our marriage we would need a cleaning lady.
|Photo courtesy: Anne Taintor|
It made sense to us. We're both in the service industry and we believe that we're experts when it comes to selling real estate and everyone who needs to buy and sell real estate should hire a pro. We don't try and fix our furnace when it goes out - we call a pro. We don't change the brakes on the car - we call a pro. We needed our house cleaned - by a pro.
We asked around and we found a lady we liked. Rosa would come to our house every other Friday and single-handedly save our marriage. In order to afford her we vowed to forgo travel and entertainment and only eat out at restaurants with buy one/get one free coupons and dollar menus.
Rosa was wonderful. Not only did this woman clean my toilets and mop my sticky kitchen floor, she wasn't afraid of any dirty job. One day I was sobbing over baby Gomer. I couldn't get him to latch on and we were both crying. She dropped her mop, rolled up her sleeves, grabbed my boob and helped me feed him. My beds didn't get changed that day, but she earned her money.
About 5 weeks ago she called me and told she was taking an extended trip to visit family in Mexico. She does this a couple of times a year. She goes by herself to visit her mother and leaves her husband in charge of the kids. She said she'd come and clean my house on April 20. I marked my calendar and then watched the dust bunnies pile up in the corners of the living room.
Yesterday I started the frantic rushing around that's called "cleaning for the cleaning lady." I was freaking out, because Gomer's room wasn't ready, I was busy with my real estate clients, and my Pinterest account was in bad shape and was begging to be updated. I decided to call her and just make sure she was really back in the country and planning to come.
I tried her cell and got her VM. I left her a message and asked her to call me. A few hours later I still hadn't done much except organize my Pinterest boards and try on summer clothes (if I'm cleaning up I might as well clean out my closet, right?) and I still hadn't heard from Rosa. I tried her again and she answered:
Me: Oh! Rosa, you're there. How was your trip to Mexico?
Rosa: Hi, Jen. It was good. I'm glad to be back.
Me: I bet. So, are you coming over tomorrow then? I'm trying to get ready, but I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Rosa: Oh. Yeah. No. I'm not coming tomorrow.
Me: (a bit relieved) OK. Maybe Saturday then or Sunday?
Rosa: No. I don't think that will work either.
Me: OK. Well, what do you think?
Rosa: Hmmm.....well...I moved.
Me: You moved?
Rosa: Well, my husband moved. So I moved. I came home from Mexico and he and the kids had moved to Omaha. He put the kids in school and everything.
Rosa: Yeah. He said, Come here and live here with us. So I did. The kids love it.
Rosa: Yes. Omaha.
Me: Wow. Because I was planning on seeing you tomorrow.
Rosa: I know. But I live in Omaha now.
Me: Yes. You mentioned that. Good luck, Rosa. Bye.
I hung up the phone with mixed emotions:
1) I got a reprieve. I can get back to my Pinterest boards and forget about Gomer's room.
2) Crap, I need to find another cleaning lady. STAT. The dust bunnies are taking over the living room. 3) WTF, when were you going to tell me, Rosa??
4) Shit, now my marriage will be in trouble.
5) Is she lying to me, because my house is such a pain for her clean and she's trying to let me down easy?