The Hubs When He's On the Carpool Line

The Hubs is great to take and pick up the kids from school almost every day.  I'm afraid if I punch him today I'll be in the carpool line tomorrow morning at 8:15 AM, but I gotta do it.  No one gets a pass.

Today I rode with him to pick up the girl from preschool.  Like every school there is a complicated pickup routine that must be followed.  There are no hard and fast rules that can be enforced, rather it all comes down to knowing the routine and letting courtesy dictate your behavior.  I was horrified today to find that the Hubs is not courteous!!

I guess I'm not THAT surprised.  After all, this is the same guy who told me on our first date that if I was boring there was a good episode of "Homicide" on that night and he'd leave our date and go home and watch it instead.  So really, I was just a bit surprised and really embarrassed for our girl.  These are the parents of her friends he's being rude to.

So here's the deal.  You have traffic coming from the north and the south both turning into the school drive.  The north bound lane turns right into the drive and the south bound turns left across oncoming traffic.  Courtesy dictates that you take turns - right turn, left turn (as traffic allows), etc.  We were in the south bound lane and the Hubs took his turn.  As we went, I said, "Don't forget to give a wave.  I hate when people don't wave."

"Why would I wave?  It's MY turn."

"Yes, but you're making a left.  Left people yield to right.   The right turning person doesn't have to let you go, it's just courtesy.  And courtesy says you should wave a thank you."

"That's crazy," he replied.

"Do you NEVER give a wave?"

"Of course not.  It's MY turn!"

"That's so rude!"  I said.

"Eh," he replied. "Who cares?"

As you get closer to the kids, you show a sign with your child's name on it so they know who you're there for.  The sign hangs on the rearview mirror, but it's hard for the teacher on duty to see it when it hangs on the mirror.  I always hold it out so the teacher can read it easier.  We pulled up to where the teacher was and the Hubs sat there staring her down.  When I realized he wasn't going to move, I showed the sign and asked him, "Do you never show the sign?"

"Why would I?  It's right there on the mirror."

"Yes, but it's hard to see."

"Eh."

"Oh!  You are SOOOOOO getting punched today," I told him.  "I hate nothing more than rude people on the carpool line."

"Bring it," he challenged.

So here it is.  When you are making a left hand turn and I am making a right, I LET you go in front of me out of COURTESY!   If I decide that you cannot make the turn because of oncoming traffic, I will take your turn and tell you to get in behind me.   I will not wait for you because it's "your turn."  If I give you a turn and you don't wave - this memory will go into The Vault.  I will remember your Odyssey minivan with the little decals on the back for you, your husband who likes to play golf, your baseball playing son, your ballerina daughter and your two dogs or your Escalade with personalized plates (My3Sonz) and the next time I WILL blackball you.  You will be boxed out.

When you get to the teacher you need to show your sign.  She is standing out there in rain or snow easily half the time trying to get your kid loaded up as quickly as possible so everyone can be on their way.  You don't help move that process along by sitting on your lazy ass and not lifting a finger to show the sign.  The teacher has to take the time to try and decipher what the sign says and get the right kid to your car.

By now, we're on the last week of school so my guess is they know which sweet little girl to call for when the Asian guy with dark sunglasses staring at them gets on line.  I'm sure they say something like, "That asshat who never waves is here!"